diary entry - 13th. October 2007
Some good stuff happened in my life this week.
Firstly, a gentleman reader of this blog (to whom I am now beholden to marry and bear his children) sent me, completely out of the blue, the photoshop software for my mac. I'm a bit daunted by it (it all looks very complicated) but sometime this weekend I will get it loaded and will discover what it does. I have purchased a book to go with it which is thicker than a bishops' report.
Secondly, a while back my diocese sent me to a top psychiatrist to find out if I was fit to do the job that I have been doing for over five years now without any problems. Anyway, this week I received my copy of the report and it is very good in deed. Basically, he says that I'm perfectly okay to be a priest, that I'm above average intelligence, honest and committed to my ministry.What is excellent is that he doesn't play down or dismiss my madness. He states that I'm capable and mad, and that is very important to me because my madness is part of who I am, I am proud that I do my job within the context of madness and I absolutely insist that my employers accept me as who I am, on my terms and without regarding me as inferior just because my world gets a little strange at times. It's not as if the peopleI work for 
in the parish have any problems with my peculiarities.
One thing the psychiatrist wrote in the report that I am really pleased with is that he called me "eccentric." In England this is the highest of praise. I am expecting to be offered the Canterbury job as soon as the present incumbent steps down.
The diocese want some time to consider the report.
74 comments:
Eccentric. Eccentric is very good. I'm rediscovering eccentric whilst working on the third floor (parents' attic). It's entertaining that no small number of my ancestors called the Weston State Hospital my home:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weston_State_Hospital
(I don't do HTML tags on these replies cuz they never work for me. So extend your fingers and copy and paste. It ain't hard.)
Congratulations, Dear MadPriest! I knew it would all come out fine! (well I had prayed that it would, and that's as good as knowing, isn't it?)
What does this do for your chances of staying in Newcastle on Tyne in your present position? Shall I keep you on the prayer list at my church? We are Americans, but I think our prayers work!
Oh, and about the 'eccentric' bit...we all knew that already. They shoulda asked us!
Toi excentrique? Mais non! Impossible!
MadPriest, this is, indeed, excellent news. You're mad, and you do your job.
I thank God for this, and I shall continue to pray.
The diocese wants time to consider what? Never mind.
I am pleased. The rest of us were getting tired of having to pretend to be sane.
R
Mad, capable, and eccentric--that's great news! (Of course, they could have just asked us.)
Very happy for you, MP.
For the heretical section, we're ready to start the letter writing campaign to Her Majesty for your appointment to the See, which we hope you will rename the "Chaise" of Canterbury. Maybe we need to wait for Wills for that appointment.
Good to read you, and thank you for standing up for the functionally insane.
Donald
In puris naturalibus (literally)
P.S. Is the picture the long-awaited likeness of you?
Dear Madpriest,
Your eccentricity and above-average intelligence (that description being perhaps an example of the English tendency toward understatement I've heard about?) are among your many God-given gifts, and they shine quite brilliantly through this blog.
Jesus, was a bit of an eccentric, wasn't he? A big weirdo, really. I find so much comfort in your blog motto, "if you think you don't belong, you belong here. " Clearly, you have taken this journey through madness and eccentricity and the reactions that it has drawn from the people around you and you have used it all to hone your compassion and humor. People in need of those things are drawn to you. Well done.
When my students call me "weird", which I take to mean "eccentric," I tell them, "I sure hope so!."
This is good and blessed news, MadPriest.
Now, away with the book about software! Even if your intelligence weren't above average, you wouldn't need no stinkin' hard copy instructions to make digital photo magic. It's the 21st century!
Well done, MP. Of course I am not the least bit surprised. Anyone reading your blog would know what your diocesan officials aren't able to see. They really didn't need to spend all that money on a special psychiatrist's report.
Great news. Deo gratias!
Rock on!
The truly mad are those who think that they are normal. The dangerously mad are those who think that they are superior. The sane are those who know they're crazy as loons.
Congratulations on a clean bill of health. If you get the throne in Canterbury, can I have an invite to Lambeth? I could come as the Suffragan Bishop of Mars, or Brady, Texas or some such place.
MP, I reiterate what everyone else said, sincere congratulations on all counts.
Also - PhotoShop = amazing and so much fun. The brushes at different sizes make fun patters. Its intimidating at first, but putzing around with it helps a lot!
So to all the great happenings...
Hot Damn and Hallelujah!
I always knew you were well above bog standard! Glad for your good news.
I don't give a flying f*** what my students think of me. They can laugh at me behind my back all they want, I don't care...
...because it's my signature that goes on the final grade report.
"Who's kicking around who now?" said Richard Nixon in hell.
Bravo! I expect to see you in purple shirt at Lambeth.
What good news!
I think I should celebrate for you, MP. This calls for bubbly!
I thought you had to have a lot of money to be eccentric. (At least that is what I tell folks, that I'm not rich enough to be eccentric, but that I'm working on it.)
As for counterlight's suggestion on the interesting new dioceses, I'm appointing myself Bishop of Kirksville, Sublette, and Sperry. The NE corner of Adair County, MO is mine, mine MINE!
I don't even think you're all that eccentric, MP. What I see in you is honesty, playfulness, humor, creativity, and, of course, intelligence. I consider you a good priest, truly called. Seriously. Your caring for "the least of these," your sermons, and the incredible posts over Lent, Good Friday, and Easter were better than anything I encountered in "real life."
As Suzanne observed, your unique qualities are God-given gifts, and you use them well, to his glory.
I'm sorry to learn that the authorities did this. Something in your mood changed a while back, and I wondered what was happening but didn't want to pry. But surely you know that the world deals cruelly with those who are different, gifted, and good of heart. I think it is your honesty that must have rattled them. You have a way of saying what we're all thinking, and that leaves some embarrassing thoughts with nowhere to hide.
I'm glad it turned out okay, MadPriest. All of us -- and our dogs and cats!-- are grateful.
Thank you, everybody.
fs - I agree with you about the eccentricity. I certainly don't feel eccentric. My world makes perfect sense to me. What I do feel, and it's something that is different to how I felt before I became ill, is a sense of freedom of thought and action, that doesn't seem present in the lives of many people I come across, especially those who chase power, wealth and authority.
As for my future employment, as far as I can work out, the diocese must either allow me to continue in my present ministry or find me paid employment as an incumbent in a different parish. As I don't mind which they choose, I'm not particularly concerned. I am looking forward to Christmas in my present parish and when something different turns up I can consider it without feeling great pressure to accept the first thing that comes along.
hold out for a purple shirt!
Well that's great so far as it goes - but (strange question to ask): how Christian are your immediate hierarchy? Can they accept someone who doesn't fit a mould?
BTW one of my parishioners recently read our long 'workload, priorities' post - and then asked me "is MP real or is he just your alter ego?"
I thought that might make you smile as much as it made me...
I don't think they can, Sam. But I think they now have to. I am incredibly fortunate in having official disability status. Without it they would have already gotten rid of me.
But the thing is, I do not impinge on their lives. I just concentrate on the work in my parish. I don't get involved in their politics. I don't join committees. I have no ambition. I don't ring them up or nag them about anything. I don't court publicity in the local media. I don't boast publicly about my work. I really do not understand why they are bothering so much about me - they certainly don't get any complaints of my parishioners.
Anyway, I'm happy where I am and I would be just as happy to move to an incumbency. So it's up to them now. As long as I feel useful and they pay me, why should I care?
The Anti-Sam and the Anti-MadPriest. Is the world ready for this?
Congratulations, MadPriest, on the official nod from the shrink. Why does the diocese need more time? Have you put them in touch with any of your devoted readers? Marilyn
Marylyn
I have a sneaking suspicion that it is because of some of my "devoted" readers that the diocese is taking its time. But I know whose table I would prefer to sit at.
Thanks for getting in touch.
MP you are just the sort of priest that is needed. I would love to have an ecumenical partner as colourful as yourself. There is far too much greyness about.
More of us should be so eccentric! Good on you and good for the shrink for looking at you through the right lens (though I think he was a bit conservative on the "above average" part).
As for your diocese...
with what's going on in this truly hurtful and insane world, I should think you'd be the last of its worries. I mean, what with needing to build an ark, feed its poor, keep its clergy from getting beaten up, work on bringing Christ back into the lives of people, and carry all the rest of its mission and responsibilities...
But all bureaucracies when faced with real crises tend to retreat into themselves and focus on little picky non-problems. It's the nature of the beast.
You're the one who's got the sane perspective on things, and I think you have a whole lot of courage to be who you are so straightforwardly.
Bravo!!
The thing is that in the context of all here represented - your acolytes - you are the most sane of men. Its all relative.
D.P.
...different, gifted, and good of heart.
Yeah, what fs said, most especially that last bit. Eccentric is cool too. ;)
And like counterlight, I´m lobbying for a Lambeth invite once you inhabit* that august place. I shall be David, Abp. of the Cats from Alpha Centauri (All Hail Our New, Interstellar Feline Masters!)
* so what´s the wife think of moving to Lambeth Palace ? Think she´ll want to redecorate ? I could help - I´m getting quite good at putting together IKEA furniture...
Really, really wonderful news. No surprise to any who loiter in this neighborhood. But how nice that they had a competent psychiatrist.
Blessings on your continued ministry, whenever, wherever.
Pax, C.
MP ... What is the US English equivalent to the word "incumbency" in regard to your line of work?
Congratulations. Never doubted it. Maybe you could apply for a cure of souls in the diocese of Louisiana? I gather that one vagary of American immigration law is that Green Cards are pretty easily available to the clergy.
MP,
Sorry to be late to the party, but I blame Michael Dell and his minions. I await the enhanced offerings that possessing PS should render for our education and amusement! I also await your ABC Installation Party, and look forward to someone who is certifiably mad and capable, 2 things the current occupant surely cannot be certified for.
clumber
I expect to see you in purple shirt at Lambeth.
Oh dear God---why would ANYONE wish that on our dear MP?
Good job, my friend. As someone who has also found a very good psychiatrist, I am grateful for those in that profession who have eyes to see and the courage to speak the truth.
Gee, I went to bed early last night and I missed this fantastic news (even if only by minutes.)
Congratulations!
And Mike in Texas, I think he means vicar. The US equivalent is usually rector but sometimes priest-in-charge.
Thanks, Allen, I thought it might be equivalent to rector but wasn't sure.
I'm really, really late, so... what everyone else said! I'd do one of these: (((MP))), but I know you hate that so forget it.
And welcome to the wonderful world of Photoshop! I've been using it for quite some time (part of my job) so feel free to ask me if you get stuck on anything. No one ever unlocks all of Photoshop's mysteries, however. In that way, it's a bit like God.
As usual, those at the upper echelon have wasted a great deal of time, effort and money and put you through an unnecessary ordeal to boot, when they could have just asked all of your friends and parishioners (both virtual and real), and have instantly gotten the same result.
It is wonderful news that everyone's prayers have been answered.
MP, please don't think you have to send me an invitation to Lambeth once you're sending them out. I'd be just as happy to sit in a side room cranking out resolution texts and press releases to counter the ones being cranked by Martyn and his ilk.
We all have to do our part.
(And don't rest in the thought that you don't believe you're the purple-shirt type. Judging from the lot we seem to have now, sanity would appear to be disqualification from that order anyway.)
Had to comment. Am going through pretty much exactly suchlike at the moment.. except that a) I'm not a priest and b) I belong to denomination that like to invent its own rules for things each time a particular situation arises and c) I think (though I may be wrong) that they're trying to do the shrink's job themselves (which, given that I'm not hiding anything - well, not much - may only save them money). But I will pray for the diocesan "considerations". I'll pray that, should they find need to move you, it'll be to Durham as that's a far nicer building than Canterbury, with far less politics involved. I love the way the Church of England "considers" thinks. At least they do. My thoughts are very much with you, anyway...
So, glad to hear the evaluation went well, MP.
Grace.
I wouldn't wish a purple shirt on you, MP. But when you do ascend to Lambeth, perhaps you can do something about the accomodations at Canterbury? The bathrooms are legendary even on this side of the pond.
Brilliant news. Congratulations.
I'd always hoped one day to be called eccentric, but sadly most still call me barking...
You are a pioneer, putting yourself forth on the internets as a model for all us eccenctric clergy, helping make the world safe for madness (which is the only reasonable state, given the world's insane claim to sanity).
In compassion I can only hope will be spared the purple. Lovely color; nasty condition.
What Paul said. And loud huzzahs and shouts of joy here with purrs of appreciation from the ruler of the household, Maya Pavlova, who is pretty mad herself.
Sorry to be so late to this feast. We just finished the first half of term here and I was underground reading and grading student work. And going to a church meeting or two.
Love to you, and hoist a beer for us with your local mates.
I just concentrate on the work in my parish. I don't get involved in their politics. I don't join committees. I have no ambition. I don't ring them up or nag them about anything. I don't court publicity in the local media. I don't boast publicly about my work.
Careful, MadPriest, this is getting titillatingly close to perfect on my scale of values. "Ambitious priest" has an oxymoronic tinge to it.
I really do not understand why they are bothering so much about me - they certainly don't get any complaints of my parishioners.
Same could be said of Jesus. "They" think they need to shore up their earthly treasure, whether it's material or, more insidiously, authority over the words, thoughts, and (they wish) souls of others. Poor fools, they've wandered off track and don't know it.
I wonder what they would think if some of us wrote letters on your behalf? Or maybe that would also be a bit too extraordinary for their taste?
Paul, I agree; there needs be a place in this world for eccentricity and madness. As William Carlos Williams wrote,
It is difficult
to get the news from poems
yet men die miserably every day
for lack
of what is found there.
Same can be said for a certain fine madness.
David, "Abp. of the Cats" who puts together IKEA furniture, these two traits speak volumes. If you're married, your wife is doubly blessed. If not, I hereby commend you to all eligible hetero ladies in the immediate vicinity. Somebody snatch him up!
Thanks for this good news, MP. It has been a long wait, and quite a number of us have been quietly concerned and keeping up with the prayers.
It's a thrill finally to see a photo of your real self. The socks are particularly impressive, bespeaking a level of eccentricity rare even in Britain. Above average, indeed!
For a bit I wasn't sure the madness wasn't a witty guise, and, having been 70% crazy since the Sixties, now declared "permanent and total", I tend to poo-poo these things are unreliable; I suspect them as tools of the Powers to harass and manipulate the uppity malcontents.
What I make of this muddle is you've been cleared by some authority over you of some vague threat brought against you for being overly creative, witty, and insightful for a working class lad, and are now at liberty to proceed: good news. Congratulations, and may you be comforted and thrive.
Congratulations, MP. I'm going straight downstairs and hoist a glass to toast you and your good news.
Cheers,
Lois
(((((((((((Maddie))))))))))))))
Bit O'Fluff.
Photoshop THAT!
Congratulations, cheers, and how could anyone have even considered anything to the contrary?
As a Priest you inspire others around the world to embrace Christ, to be themselves (as God created them and declared "good") in the face of a world which demands we be that which are otherwise; you lead us to laugh at the vain-glorious, pompous and foolish, and you inspire us to love that which is all to readily overlooked and forgotten.
Thank you, Mad Priest, and thank you for inspiring us to continue the good fight, a battle from which at least one person here has been told they are disqualified.
If only all clergy were as "eccentric" as you - in my diocese the church might then own only a fraction of the commercial property it currently does, but the impact it would have made on the lives of the "little ones" whom Jesus insisted matter most would be infinitely greater compensation.
Thank You for being a Priest true to your calling. May those whose eyes gleam purple never be so blind that they forget this.
"Alcibiades'
PS. Joy: You shall be in my prayers. Keep us all posted on how your own trial goes, and don't believe anyone who says anything remotely like "You can't" or "You mustn't". That's always a sure sign they know nothing about God ;-)
My friends, thank you.
Believe me, the only promotion I would ever accept would be to Canterbury, because I think the anarchy that would ensue would be the funniest thing ever.
And also I promise you, if I get the gig it will be jobs for the boys and jobs for the girls - name your own salaries and the posts you want. The only job that's already earmarked is Archbishop of Nigeria - I'm giving that one to Grace. That'll teach 'em.
Eccentricity is of course the ultimate Anglican approbation, a fact overlooked in many theological texts. Congratulations!
There was a book published a while back on clerical obituarites from the Daily Telegraph called "Priests and Prelates." After reading some of the entries I felt guilty because I was not eccentric enough. I most definitely am working on it!
I am happy for you, MP - must be a huge relief, as well as flattering ("eccentric" means "not mind-numbingly boring", in the English vernacular, doesn't it?). I am glad someone officially recognized *your* gifts, instead of trying to stuff you into a Standard-Issue Priest (tm) form and complaining that you don't have the Officially Approved gift of bureaucratese.
NancyP
Photoshop - just putz away, and then look at the book. The book just gives you some idea of what's available. Adobe online help is generally sufficient for anything anyone might want.
MadPriest, when you move to Cantebury, may I be the keeper of the door? I promise to develop a voodoo lady detector.
MP,
Good news!
Quite probably the shrink never heard about our Church... otherwise, he would have pointed out that being eccentric is an outstanding qualifier for being an Anglican priest in good standing!
I hope that you can find some time to write your own report about the psychiatrist...
Thomas+
And you sound like you were honest, too. More than I was.
Like all the potential ordinands in my diocese twenty five years ago, I had to go off for a psychological evaluation. I knew that the psych was going to administer the MMPI, and I studied enough about the test to know what kinds of questions were going to be asked and what the "correct" answers would be. I filled it out accordingly. After the therapist scored the test he came back and told me that I was "astonishingly mentally healthy". I just smiled.
I am not proud of lying no matter how idiotic I knew that test was. My moment of honesty came several years later, a few months before my scheduled ordination to the diaconate, when I admitted to myself, and my friends, and the gentleman in the purple shirt that I really had no particular vocation.
So, although ordering you to go to a psychologist sounds like something that the Soviets used to do to dissidents, I am awed by your integrity in dealing with the process honestly.
When are regular, routine psychological tests going to be administered to and required of ALL sitting bishops (not just the testing of candidates for election that seems to be required in the US - John shows how much faith can be placed in those)?
I'm sure that each and every one of us has her/his favourite candidates ("I've got a little list") for emergency episcopal psych testing.
All that trouble to go to, to discover that you're "eccentric".
John, I did not know that MMPI was used to diagnose sanity or insanity. I thought it was a personality type indicator. I've taken it twice, and it didn't seem to be sane-crazy test at all.
John, maybe we're talking about two different tests. The one I took twice was the MBTI. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I guess yours is the crazy test.
They probably just lied to you, Mimi. In case, you got violent again.
Congratulations MP! My thoughts are with those who have commented above and did so much more eloquently than I could.
I would have commented earlier but had to go to a long (not the Las Vegas version) RC wedding and an even longer reception (think medieval english feast). Today shall be a fasting day.
cheers
You know I really do worry about people who don't have some diagnosis. I've had several. And there are so many varieties of madness that no one should have to go around totally sane.
Lindy says, "no one should have to go around totally sane."
Now that's the sanest comment I've heard in a very long time.
KJ, I resent the remark about keeping the voo-doo lady out of Canterbury. There you go sucking up again.
MadPriest, if I ever met you, and you got to know the real me, you'd know that I was the sanest person you'd ever met. Really.
We studied the The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) in Psychometry. Some twits believe that you can use it to detect homosexuality. Which is why most mainline churches in the USA have used it during vocational assessment.
the real me
That's one of your multiple personalities is it, Mimi?
I came to that conclusion about you quite some time ago, Mimi, and I'm pretty certain that MP knows it as well. Probably what drives this constant need for competition.
Well, I do admit that I have my OCICBW personality which I let out here, where I can be naughty, and my Mrs Bird personality for my blog, where I keep it relatively clean.
I am very happy for you, MP. Very, very, very happpy. Spelled with three p's.
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