Unreliable sources report that the Bishop of (bits of) London, the Right Rev Richard Chartres, has suspended the head of the Church of England, Archbishop Jesus H. Christ, following comments the controversial primate wrote about scribes and pharisees on his blog, I'M THE MESSIAH, GET ME OUT OF HERE!
"I was so disgusted when I saw what he had written that my head exploded," Bishop Chartres is reported as saying.
"Furthermore, I have personally apologised to the Union of Scribes and Pharisees, and assured them of the House of Bishops' continued support for their tithing of mint, dill, and cummin. It is my hope that this unfortunate incident will not derail our ecumenical talks concerning the cleaning of the outside of cups and plates on which so much progress has been made over the last decade."
The Bishop went on to say that he has asked the unrepentant Archbishop to clear his desk at Diocesan House and told him that he will not be welcome at the office Christmas party this year. Nor will he get to keep the desk diary for next year from the Cooperative Funeral Services Ltd.
In an email to OCICBW..., Jesus responded by saying that they "could stick their Christmas Party where the sun don't shine - and anyway, he'd rather eat with sinners and tax collectors than that bunch of hypocrites any day of the week."