THERE'S NO POINT HANGING ROUND HERE...

... there's nothing going on as MadPriest has gone up north
to convert the heathen Celt.

You'd be better off checking out OCICBW...'s 
doppelganger blog,

OF COURSE, I COULD BE ON VACATION...

It's more fun than removing a verruca from the bottom of
your foot with a rusty drawing pin and all the gang will be
there. G'won, get outta here!

BLOG NOTICE

I'm clearing off for a few days in North West Scotland. I promise you that I am not going to any interviews. It's just a holiday.

Chin Wag will remain open for postings and comments as normal. I could say "behave yourselves," but, quite honestly, I don't care what you get up to over there. So, just enjoy yourselves. Oh, and try to post a few things just to keep things going. KJ is in charge. He has the final and infallible say in all arguments that might break out among you.

I'll leave the comments open on this page. But I won't be able to publish any new ones that are submitted until I get back.

I did email Dennis to ask if he wanted to open Of Course, I Could Be On Vacation... for the week. But he hasn't replied so I assume he is busy on his great work. Or maybe he just hates me like everyone else in the universe. (Goodness, I need this holiday)

LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN AS YOU LEAVE, PLEASE!

There has been another exhibition of primatial hissy fitting in the Anglican Communion Football League. In a Division Two match, played earlier today, and reported on by THE TIMES ecclesiastical sports correspondent, Ruthy "Red Card" Gledhill, the captain of the Ugandan team, Henry "The Bishop" Orombi, picked up the ball in the middle of the match and stormed off to the changing room with it. It has emerged that his paddy was due to the failure of Anglican Football's governing body to change the rules of the game to suit what he wanted. Orombi has since sent a letter to the president of the ACFL, Rowan "Shinkicker" Williams (a.k.a. Williamsy) in which he states how upset he is that the other teams, especially the US team, continue to play the game according to the traditional rules. Thanks to Our Ruth, I am able to post his letter of resignation in full.

9th April 2010
The Most Rev. Rowan Williams
Archbishop of Canterbury
Lambeth Palace
London

Your Grace,

Easter greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ!
In February I read with great interest Bishop Mouneer Anis’ letter of resignation from the Joint Standing Committee. I am grateful for his clarity and honesty. He has verbalized very well what many of us have thought and felt, and inspired me to write, as well.

As you know from our private conversations, I have absented myself for principled reasons from all meetings of the Joint Standing Committee since our Primates meeting in Dar es Salaam in 2007.

The first meeting of the Joint Standing Committee was later that year in New Orleans. At our Primates meeting in February 2007, we made certain requests of the Episcopal Church. In our Dar es Salaam communiqué we did not envision interference in the American House of Bishops while they were considering our requests.

For me to participate in a meeting in New Orleans before the 30th September deadline would have violated our hard-won agreement in Dar es Salaam and would have been another case of undermining our instruments of communion. My desire to uphold our Dar es Salaam communiqué was intended to strengthen our instruments of communion so we would be able to mature into an even more effective global communion of the Church of Jesus Christ than in the past.

Subsequent meetings of the Joint Standing Committee have included the Primate of the Episcopal Church (TEC) and other members of TEC, who are the very ones who have pushed the Anglican Communion into this sustained crisis. How can we expect the gross violators of Biblical Truth to sanction their own discipline when they believe they have done nothing wrong and further insist that their revisionist theology is actually the substance of Anglicanism? We have only to note the recent election and confirmation of an active Lesbian as a Suffragan Bishop in the Diocese of Los Angeles to realize that TEC has no interest in “gracious restraint,” let alone a moratorium on the things that have brought us to this point of collapse.

It is now impossible to regard their earlier words of “regret” as a serious gesture of reconciliation with the rest of the Communion.

Together with Bishop Mouneer, I am equally concerned, as you know, about the shift in the balance of powers among the Instruments of Communion. It was the Primates in 2003 who requested the Lambeth Commission on Communion that ultimately produced the Windsor Report. It was the Primates who received the Windsor Report at our meeting in Dromantine in 2005. It was the Primates, through our Dromantine Communique, who presented the appropriate “hermeneutic” through which to read the Windsor Report. That “hermeneutic,” however, has been obscured by the leadership at St. Andrew’s House who somehow created something we never envisioned called the “Windsor Process.”

The Windsor Report was not a “process.” It was a Report, commissioned by the Primates and received by the Primates. The Primates made specific and clear requests of TEC and the Anglican Church of Canada. When TEC, particularly, did not clearly answer our questions, we gave them more time in 2007 to clarify their position.

Suddenly, though, after the 2007 Primates Meeting in Dar es Salaam, the Primates no longer had a role to play in the very process they had begun. The process was mysteriously transferred to the Anglican Consultative Council and, more particularly, to the Joint Standing Committee. The Joint Standing Committee has now evolved into the “Standing Committee.” Some suggest that it is the Standing Committee “of the Anglican Communion.”

There is, however, no “Standing Committee of the Anglican Communion” The Standing Committee has never been approved in its present form by the Primates Meeting or the Lambeth Conference. Rather, it was adopted by itself, with your approval and the approval of the ACC. The fact that five Primates are included in no way represents our Anglican understanding of the role of Primates as metropolitan bishops of their provinces.

Anglicanism is a church of Bishops and, at its best, is conciliar in its governance. The grave crisis before us as a Communion is both a matter of faith as well as order. Matters of faith and order are the domain of Bishops. In a Communion the size of the Anglican Communion, it is unwieldy to think of gathering all the Bishops of the Communion together more frequently than the current pattern of every ten years. That is why the Lambeth Conference in 1998 resolved that the Primates Meeting should be able to “exercise an enhanced responsibility in offering guidance on doctrinal, moral and pastoral matters.” (Resolution III.6).

What has emerged, however, is the Standing Committee being given “enhanced responsibility” and the Primates being given “diminished responsibility,” even in regard to a process begun by them. Indeed, this Standing Committee has granted itself supreme authority over Covenant discipline in the latest draft. Under these circumstances, it has not been possible for me to participate in meetings of the Joint Standing Committee that has taken upon itself authority it has not been given.

Accordingly, I stand with my brother Primate, Bishop Mouneer Anis, in his courageous decision to resign from the Standing Committee. Many of us are in a state of resignation as we see how the Communion is moving away further and further into darkness, especially since the Primates’ meeting in Dar es Salaam.

Your Grace, I have urged you in the past, and I will urge you again. There is an urgent need for a meeting of the Primates to continue sorting out the crisis that is before us, especially given the upcoming consecration of a Lesbian as Bishop in America. The Primates Meeting is the only Instrument that has been given authority to act, and it can act if you will call us together.

The agenda for that meeting should be set by the Primates themselves at the meeting, and not by any other staff in advance of the meeting. I reiterate this point because you will recall our cordial December 2008 meeting with you, Chris Smith, and the other GAFCON Primates in Canterbury where we discussed the agenda for the Primates meeting to take place in Alexandria the following month. None of our submissions were included in the agenda. Likewise, at the beginning of the January 2009 Primates meeting I was asked to present a position paper on the effect of the crisis in the Communion from our perspective, but I was not informed in advance, so I did not come prepared. Yet, other presenters, including TEC and Canada, were given prior information and came very prepared. I have never received a formal written apology about that incident, and it has caused me to wonder if there are two standards at work in how a Primate is treated.

Finally, the meeting should not include the Primates of TEC and the Anglican Church of Canada who are proceeding with unbiblical practices that contradict the faith of Anglicanism. We cannot carry on with business as usual until order is brought out of this chaos.

Yours, in Christ,
The Most Rev Henry Luke Orombi
ARCHBISHOP OF CHURCH OF UGANDA.

COMMENT: I think the short phrase, "Anglicanism is a church of Bishops," pretty much sums up Orombi's attitude towards democracy, the other provinces and the Communion of Saints.

The following is a copy of the comment I posted on Our Ruth's blog.

Bishop Henry Orombi may run his own province as if he was some sort of de facto pope. He may wish the whole of the Anglican Communion was governed by a college of de facto cardinals who are allowed to totally ignore their de facto pope in Canterbury whenever they disagree with him. But the truth is that, no matter how loud the power hungry bishops of the Communion state that they are in charge, they are not so in reality. There are various forms of governance in the different provinces of the Anglican Communion and The Grand Tufti's desire to replace them with a centralised, papal/episcopal model based on Roman Catholicism must be resisted to the death. We have seen recently that the order and governance of a church by those with a vested interest in maintaining their own positions of authority and privilege leads inevitably to the disgrace and ridicule of that church. We hated it when Tony Blair made his grab for presidential authority. The media should be just as distrustful when such power grabs take place in our Church of England. Open government is the future in all institutions. The last thing we need is a return to self-centred dictatorships. Somebody should send Henry Orombi a short history of The Reformation. It didn't happen in his country so he perhaps needs bringing up to speed on it.

LOUD LOW FRIDAY

Loud fans will remember THE VID I put up featuring an
absolutely stormin' version of "Louie Louie" by the Mexican
garage combo, LOS EXPLOSIVOS. I called them the
future of rock 'n' roll at the time and, although this may
have been a slight exaggeration, made in the excitement of
the moment, I still think they are the most exciting rock band
I've heard since Jack White disappeared up his own arse.

Here's an audio only version of some stuff off their latest
album (or what I guess is their latest album - it went up on
Amazon U.K. at the end of February, this year).

Fans of the loud - you will enjoy!

PURCHASE VIA MADPRIEST'S AMAZON STORE

TOO MUCH UNHOLY SPRIT LEADSTO EMBARRASSMENT FOR ANGLICAN BISHOP

From RADIO NEW ZEALAND INTERNATIONAL:

The Anglican bishop of the Central Solomons Diocese in the Solomon Islands has been fined for drink driving and crashing a Diocesan vehicle back on the 1st January. He had also been charged with driving without a driving licence.

Police said earlier in the day his son was seen driving the truck, however later when they were about to leave to pay for more beers, the accused insisted he drive even though he was too drunk. They reportedly went to a liqour shop and to a lodge where they bought more beers and then set off back to the bishop’s official residence.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

THEMETHATISME has sent in a link through to an excellent article at THE GUARDIAN by George Monbiot. It's about the chasm between science and the humanities and, ultimately, between science and "the rest of the world."

The author sees this as an increasingly widening and increasingly dangerous academic vacuum that is seriously damaging scientific progress and turning those not trained in scientific method into confused Luddites totally uninterested in a subject that now impinges on every aspect of their daily lives. On the one hand this leads to science being poorly supported by both the public and their governments and, on the other hand, to scientific arrogance and isolationism that can border on intellectual fascism.

I agree entirely with Monbiot's diagnosis and prognosis, but from the opposite camp to where he comes from. I can understand how annoyed and frustrated scientists must get when idiot, flat-earth religionists and deranged conspiracy theorists bog them down in pointless arguments which drain their resources and energy and slow down the scientific enterprise that could lead to benefits for all humankind, including those whose head-in-the-sand attitudes are causing the problems. But, I also, as an artist and philosopher, with a fervent interest in many areas of scientific knowledge, get really pissed off with the arrogance of many scientists and their refusal to listen to voices from outside their academic discipline.

People who think seriously about scientific matters without the constraints of scientific methodology can give much to the scientific community. It is very unlikely that I, as an art based thinker, would have ever come up with the theory of evolution. It is also very unlikely that an evolutionary scientist would perceive, like I do, that there is something obviously missing from current theories, especially in respect of evolution through natural selection. Now, I admit that I may be barking up the wrong tree (as all good philosophers have to in respect of all their ideas). But, the scientific community's refusal to even listen to the questions philosophers raise concerning science can hold up scientific progress just as effectively as a whole state load of creationist Southern Baptists. Furthermore, as so often is the case, science can end up being proved wrong and have egg all over its face, when a bit of humility would have avoided such embarrassment. Scientists will claim, when they have to publicly renounce previous assertions that every claim in science is always tentative. But you only have to read Dicky Dorkins' on evolutionary theory to see that in reality scientists are as quick to make truth claims based on insufficient evidence as everybody else.

The answer lies in the classroom. At my senior school we were made to choose between arts or science at the age of fourteen. That sort of compartmentalising of academic interest has to stop, right up to, and including, university level education. We need to return to the golden age of universities when the hallowed halls were truly places of universal knowledge, but within the more egalitarian context of our modern world. We need to encourage a new renaissance thinking among our students and in ourselves, whatever our natural academic bias. Universities should be opened up to the public and students should be allowed, and actively encouraged, to attend lectures on subjects of absolutely no benefit to their degree, simply for the love of knowledge. All educationists should read J.Henry Newman's "Idea Of A University," which, in my opinion, was his finest piece of philosophical work.

Above all, governments should tell big business to take a hike and should base the promotion of education on the acquisition of knowledge for its own sake and not on what will provide the best returns for the multinational companies whose wealth is dependent on the slogging away of legions of uncreative lab technicians and bought academics. Of course, such an attitude would more than likely end up with bigger profits for these companies as employees who can think for themselves and ask pertinent questions come up with really useful discoveries and inventions much more often, and more speedily, than culturally impaired, blinkered technicians.

POSTSCRIPT: All the above claims about scientists can, with only a small adjustment in context, be reversed to apply to artists and philosophers.

THE COCKLES OF MY HEARTARE MOST DEFINITELY WARMED

From JEW TUNES at Jweekly.com:

Let’s get this out of the way – yes, this is a Jewish music blog and yes the event that will be discussed in this entry is a nondenominational party at a classic Episcopalian church.


But how often do we Jews really get to hang out in a traditional Christian space without the urge to explain our presence? Let alone shimmy with friends to Michael Jackson and drink decidedly non-Christian alcoholic beverages inside a sanctuary’s walls?


I simply cannot ignore the glory that is EPISCODISCO. The monthly event’s year anniversary party takes place 7-10 p.m. April 17 at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco.


The upcoming EpiscoDisco will include a live performance by dark folk songstress Emily Jane White and a screening of short film “Holy Water.” The film juxtaposes images of Michael Jackson idolatry (alters full of Jackson photos and RIP messages following his untimely death last summer) with raging waterfalls.


Did I mention the whole shebang is free? Because it is.


To me EpiscoDisco feels like a rare treat, to enjoy the glory of classic San Francisco architecture without having to provide any context for my visit. I just want to dance!


So go my Jewish brethren, party like a gentile and see how the other side lives.

COMMENT:
Are we simply the best?
Yes we are (sometimes).

THE PRAYER LIST

From JimB:

My friend Cliff, faces neurosurgery on 15 April to remove a brain tumor. A scoutmaster for over 30 years, he is the brain and soul of the Scouting community in his town a true servant leader not only in that capacity but in others and great guy to swap stories with anytime. Anytime someone says, "brain tumor" or "neurosurgery" is a scary time but Cliff, as is his way is responding optimistically.

***

A message from Klady on her Facebook page:

I have fractured my ankle in 2 places - slipped and fell in a rush to try to get to a lacrosse game. No orthopedic doctor was on call so after spending much of the night in the ER with the usual full house of people who cannot get any other kind of care, I just have a plastic splint and pain pills and have to call my internist in the morning to get a referral to an orthped dr. Stupid (me). Annoying (everything else).


Money raised so far for charity = $8.80.
Don't forget it is up to you to give your part of this to the charity of your own choice whenever you feel like doing so.

FULTON, MISSISSIPPI: THE NASTIEST TOWN IN AMERICA

"I want the parents and students who planned the cruel hoax to be shamed around the world." (Grandmère Mimi)

Back on the thirteenth of March I posted AN ARTICLE on Constance McMillen, a student at Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton MS. She wanted to take her girlfriend to her high school prom and she wanted to wear a tuxedo whilst doing so. Of course, her wishes were met with the usual redneck bigotry which evolved into the ludicrous situation of the school authorities cancelling the prom altogether rather than allowing Constance and her dance partner the opportunity to be themselves at a bog standard, very ordinary event, enjoyed by thousands of kids, without any hassle, every year in the US and many other countries, as well.

That was enough to show the town of Fulton up as a place where evolution has gone into reverse and where the local inhabitants are rapidly breeding themselves back to an amoebic level of intelligence and self awareness. But that was not enough for these knuckle dragging sickos. They were, in fact, to descend to a level of such evil crassness, that were their actions the plot of a Hollywood blockbuster, reviewers would decry the storyline as "far fetched."

From THE ADVOCATE:

McMillen tells The Advocate that a parent-organized prom happened behind her back — she and her date were sent to a Friday night event at a country club in Fulton, Miss., that attracted only five other students. Her school principal and teachers served as chaperones, but clearly there wasn't much to keep an eye on.


"They had two proms and I was only invited to one of them," McMillen says. 


"The one that I went to had seven people there, and everyone went to the other one I wasn’t invited to."


Two students with learning difficulties were among the seven people at the country club event,


McMillen recalls. "They had the time of their lives," McMillen says. "That's the one good thing that come out of this, [these kids] didn't have to worry about people making fun of them [at their prom]."


Itawamba students even went so far as to set up a public Facebook page called “CONSTANCE QUIT YER CRYING” to celebrate their “victory.” But this has backfired, somewhat, as The Facebook page has now become, in effect, a public shaming post for the people of Fulton.

COMMENT: If something like this had happened to me I would have taken one look at the near empty room, realised what was happening and would have immediately run away in floods of tears. Constance stayed and more than that. She turned the worst night of her young life so far into, probably, the best night two other oppressed kids had ever had in their lives. And just the thought of such selflessness and innate goodness had me blubbing like a girlie at seven o'clock this morning.

Of course, Constance is our

BRICK OF THE DAY

But that's hardly enough. In a half decent world she would be the next recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. She certainly deserves it a lot more than President Obama, as I am sure he would admit himself.

AMAZING RECORD SLEEVES OF ALL TIME

At last! A convincing argument as to why Turkey should not
be allowed to join the European Union.

At least, The German entries in this series have the excuse that
they were released nearly 50 years ago. This Turkish CD was
released last year by one of their most successful pop stars.

The big question is "What's with teh gays in Turkey? How on
earth did that top she's wearing get passed homo security? It's
not even kinky. She looks like she's off to work her shift in the
local halal abattoir.

AT LEAST, COMPARATIVELY GREAT

It may be that, at the end of his eight years in office (well, one has to be optimistic), you will only be able to say of Barack Obama, "At least he made a start." But, as the presidents of the USA, for as far back as I can remember, have, on so many of the issues of importance to OCICBW... readers, remained stationary at the start line all the way through their terms in office, I think you can already chalk this bloke up as a vast improvement. Me? As an outsider, so not so impatient for change, I've still got him up there on a pedestal. He impresses me greatly. I'm not a "slowly, slowly, catchy monkey" type of guy. But I can appreciate the art of it in others.

AMAZING RECORD SLEEVES OF ALL TIMEA "WHERE DOES HE FIND THEM?" SPECIAL

I have made you listen to many awful records.

I have forced you to look at quite a few awful record sleeves.

But this is the first time I have subjected you to both, brought together in one truly unique and mind blowingly painful attack
on your senses. You may need counselling.

This one's for you, Padre.

Enjoy.

NOT FOR BISHOPS

"Definitely only for Chin Wag Ted Haggard Sketch"
at Chin Wag @ OCICBW... (just posted).

MUSIC FOR YOUR LUNCHTIME

This is more uptempo than yesterday's tribute music for the
miners of West Virginia. But still, somehow, rather apt.

BAND'S MYSPACE PAGE

PURCHASE VIA MADPRIEST'S AMAZON STORE

A TIME FOR PRAYER AND DEFLECTION

DON'T BLAME MADPRIEST, BLAME WICKED ELLIE

BUT WHEN DO WE GET PAROLE?

From WALES ONLINE:

IT'S RAINING FISH. HALLELUJAH!

Thanks to Paul (A) for sending

this article into MadPriest Towers.

From THE DAILY MAIL:

Residents of a small outback Australian town have been left speechless after fish began falling from the sky. Hundreds of spangled perch bombarded the 650 residents of Lajamanu, shocking local Christine Balmer, who was walking home when the strange 'weather' started.

She said: 'These fish fell in their hundreds and hundreds all over the place. The locals were running around everywhere picking them up. The fish were all alive when they hit the ground so they would have been alive when they were up there flying around the sky.

'When I told my family, who live in another part of Australia, about the fish falling from the sky, they thought I'd lost the plot. But no, I haven't lost my marbles. All I can say is that I'm thankful that it didn't rain crocodiles!'

STORMY DANIELS GETS INTO BED WITH G.O.P.

The following news item has been submitted by Tracie The Red under the title "WTF?"

From NEW ORLEANS.COM:

Former adult entertainment star Stormy Daniels released the following statement Tuesday, declaring her affiliation with the Republican Party. This statement is believed to be setting up Daniels' bid for U.S. Senate, running against Senator David Vitter.

"After months of careful deliberation and consult as to the true nature of my political affiliation I am ready today to declare that should I seek the office of US Senator from the great state of Louisiana that I will do so as a Republican. While this decision has not been an easy one, recent events regarding Republican National Committee fundraising at Voyeur, an LA based lesbian bondage themed nightclub finally tipped the scales. As I have said for well over a year, it is time that our government and our tax policy begin rewarding entrepreneurship and creativity again. It is time again to inspire positive risks and out-of-the-box thinking in the interest of growing a strong economy and a strong America. For me, this spirit can be summed up in the RNC's investment of donor funds at Voyeur. As someone who has worked extensively in both the club and film side of the Adult Entertainment Industry, I know from experience that a mere $1900 outlay at a club with the reputation of Voyeur is a clear indication of a frugal investment with a keen eye toward maximum return. And I firmly believe that it is precisely this type of creative and calculated investing that we, as taxpaying Americans, should expect not only from our political parties but from our government. The American taxpayer deserves consistent conservatives who reject wasteful spending and unwarranted government intervention in the private sector. As is the case with so many of my fellow Louisianans, I have been a registered Democrat throughout my life. But now I cannot help but recognize that over time my libertarian values regarding both money and sex and the legal use of one for the other is now best espoused by the Republican Party."

COMMENT: Well, that's her off Grandmère Mimi's afternoon soiree invitation list.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

From THE SURREY COMET:

IT'S MONEY THAT MATTERS

With the West Virginian mining disaster very much in my mind, I have cobbled together this vid which pretty much explains what we all know already. All over the world, when people die in work related "accidents," their deaths are usually caused by the greed of rich men living a long way away from any possible danger to life their commercial practices might cause.

FOR JIMB

This recording by Peter, Paul and Mary is my favourite of the
60s Folk Revival versions of this song.

Over the years there were three major disasters at the Springhill Mine. The last one was in 1958 or thereabouts.

CLOSE TO HOME AND COMING HOME TO ROOST

WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE

Although the BBC fail to mention me in the above report
from 2003, not only did I help at the tree planting, I
actually had the honour of blessing the trees and the
enterprise. The Spinney is in my parish. Had I been the
curate here 200 years ago I would not have been just
remembering the dead miners, I would have been burying
them. Just like Pastor Gary Williams will, more than
likely, have to do in West Virginia very soon.

A full account of the 1815 Heaton Main mining disaster can
be found at THE DURHAM MINING MUSEUM website.

It's a small world when you are a working man or woman. It always has been. And there really is very little difference between back then and now as this words from "The Guardian" show:

The Upper Big Branch mine, about 30 miles south of Charleston, has a dire safety record. Three workers have been killed there in the past 12 years. Federal inspectors have fined the company more than $380,000 (£250,000) over the past year for repeated violations over the ventilation of the mine to prevent the buildup of the methane gas believed to be responsible for the latest accident. The authorities cited the mine for 57 safety infractions last month alone.

The mine is owned by Massey Energy, one of the country's largest operators. The company paid the largest financial settlement to date over a fire in another West Virginia coal mine in 2006 in which two miners died.

Here is a short, musical tribute to the miners who have died,
or will die unrescued, in West Virginia.



Oh can't you see that pretty little bird,
Singing with all his heart and soul.
He's got a blood red spot on his wing,
And all the rest of him's black as coal.

Of all the colors I ever did see,
Red and black are the ones I dread.
Oh when a man spills blood on the coal,
They carry him down from the coalmines dead.

Oh fly away you redwinged bird,
Leave behind the miners wife.
She'll dream about you when your gone.
She'll dream about you all her life.

Oh can't you see that pretty little bird,

Singing with all his heart and soul.

He's got a blood red spot on his wing,

And all the rest of him's black as coal.

THE DAY OF RESURRECTION

Posted yesterday at INTERNET MONK:

Thank you, Laura, for sending this in to me.

AND THE LIGHTS GO OUT IN L.A.

From THE33TV.COM:

Archbishop Jose Gomez was named Tuesday to succeed the archbishop of Los Angeles, the Holy See's most significant acknowledgment to date of the growing importance of Latinos in the American church. The appointment is also evidence that Pope Benedict XVI wants a strong defender of orthodoxy leading the largest diocese in the nation: Gomez, 58, is an archbishop of Opus Dei, the conservative movement favored by the Vatican.

CHURCH OF ENGLAND LAUNCHES"HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY" INITIATIVE

Thanks to out homegirl, Ellie, for 
sending this into MadPriest Towers.

DON'T BLAME MADPRIEST, BLAME MAD DAD

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know.. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............

CAPTION COMPETITION (3)

JESUS SCARES THE LITTLE CHILDREN

From THE GEELONG ADVERTISER:

Geelong police shut down a bloody re-enactment of Jesus on the cross in Malop St on Saturday afternoon deeming it too offensive for public viewing. Members of the Heaven on Earth church in Norlane staged the life-like performance outside Market Square Shopping Centre at 1pm.

It featured two women mourners in black and a semi-naked ``Jesus'' covered in fake blood ``crucified'' on a large wooden cross.

``We were pretty disappointed the police did it the way they did it. They didn't talk to us first, they just came and yanked the cord out of our amp and said we had to stop,'' Pastor Sarah Kenneally said.

Hamlyn Heights mother Louise Bridges slammed the performance, calling it an ``absolutely disgusting stunt''. She said she was ``fuming'' at the public display and said it would ``scare children away from religion''.

She said her son was very disturbed and wasn't able to differentiate between real and fake blood.

``It was in your face. Coming out of either shopping centre you just couldn't avoid it, I was horrified,'' she said. ``My son was worried they were really hurting (Jesus) because he was covered in blood and moaning and calling out ``why, why''.

COMMENT: I don't know. Australians aren't what they used to be. And that Mrs Bridges' kid is going to grow up to be a poofter is she lets him get away with being such a nancy boy every time he sees someone being crucified in the streets.

MADPRIEST'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

There is not a politician in The Republic of Ireland who wants to be associated with the Roman Catholic Church at this moment in time. So, maybe this would be the ideal time to give Ireland back to the Irish. Even if the idiots in the north want to hang on to their sectarian political allegiances, the political climate in a newly reunified Ireland would be overwhelmingly secular.

Wouldn't it be lovely if such a redemption came out of such evil?

MUSIC FOR YOUR LUNCHTIME

PURCHASE VIA MADPRIEST'S AMAZON STORE

THE PRAYER LIST

From Lois Keen:

I ask the prayers of this community of life for healing for myself. Took a dreadful fall 8 a.m. Easter Day. Spent the day in the Emergency Room. Was made sick by the pain killer they gave me - blood pressure dropped to where they were happy when it went up to 90 over 50. Badly banged up, especially left knee and right shoulder and arm which are virtually useless right now.


There is a retired Haitian Episcopal priest who comes to Grace when he is in town. He just happened to be in town Sunday and when he heard the announcement that I wouldn't be there, he graciously took the service. So thanksgivings for that little Easter miracle please. Thanks for all of you.

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Posted by Father Kenny at RECTOR'S RAMBLINGS:

Church full to breaking point... I think we (just) managed to seat everyone, two baptisms, music group supplemented by new members (our teenagers are growing up and, hey, they're musical), almost 200 Easter eggs given away, and a tremendous joy about the place.


Sitting in the midst of this, unable to take it all in, unable to cope with it all, sits a bent, yet compelling, figure. He is old now and confused, his complexion as grey as his hair. Memories of happy Easter Days roll around his mind, when his beloved wife was alive, when he had energy, when he could think clearly. The days before dementia and the Care Home. He is confused at Communion time. He will not, or cannot get up to the communion rail to receive the Risen Christ in the Sacrament, for he is unsure of what is going on. Then his son, for it is my father we're talking of here, brings the Bread to his seat. "The Body of Christ, the Bread of Heaven", I say, and place it into tired hands. He grips my hand like a vice, wordlessly making contact, trying to articulate this unbreakable bond, between father and son, between Jesus and himself. And in this man, who is in the Good Friday of his life, I hear Jesus Himself, crying out for resurrection.

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Please add your own prayer requests in the comments to this post or send them in to me by email.


Money raised so far for charity = $7.70.
Don't forget it is up to you to give your part of this to the charity of your own choice whenever you feel like doing so.

CAPTION COMPETITION (2)

If you go down to the woods today,
you're sure of a big surprise...

This is REV MIBI doing her earth mother thing on Easter morning. Feel free to be as cruel as you like with your
caption suggestions.

AROUND THE BLOGS

Reading this lot should keep you out of mischief all day:

For a brilliant cat cartoon visit JADE PAGE PRESS.

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For words of wisdom visit LESLEY'S BLOG.

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For a reminder that, although the media, bloggers and, above all, enlightened Catholics should continue to pile up the pressure on the RC hierarchy with the hope that they will eventually embrace reform, we must never forget that most Roman Catholics are truly Christian and absolutely necessary for the Kingdom of God project to succeed, visit ENLIGHTENED CATHOLICISM.

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For proof that being a missionary in "darkest" Panama is actually one big party visit PADRE MICKEY'S DANCE PARTY.

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For fine blog-a-dogging visit YEARNING FOR GOD.

CAPTION COMPETITION (1)

Stolen from Scott Gunn of SEVEN WHOLE DAYS fame.

BLOG NOTICE

I have become an Amazon Associate and anything you people order from them via the widgets in the sidebar and from my STORE will earn me commission. At the moment this is just an experiment in preparation for the possible commercialisation of the site more fully should I find myself without any other income in a few months.

I promise to keep this latest venture as low key and unobtrusive as possible by not cluttering up the blog with loads of Amazon widgets and advertising. I also promise to continue to cater for a wide range of musical tastes in my postings and not give a damn whether or not they might lead to sales.

Your comments would be appreciated
(unless you are a dickhead).

MUSIC FOR YOUR LUNCHTIME

BAND'S WEBSITE

PURCHASE VIA MADPRIEST'S AMAZON STORE

HERE IS THE CHURCHWITHOUT ANY PEOPLE.OH, BLOODY 'ELL!SOMEONE'S PULLED DOWN THE STEEPLE.

This story has been rumbling away in Canada for a week or so now. If it wasn't for the Roman catholics hogging all the limelight it would probably be the number one religious news item internationally as well.

From CBC NEWS:

A security guard has been posted at an Anglican church outside St. John's after the building's large steeple was found on the ground Wednesday morning. The vandalism happened hours after preservationists thought they had prevented a church council from demolishing the building.

"Someone showed up here and used what appears to be chainsaws or saws to cut the wooden support to the steeple. Then the steeple was pulled down, possibly by rope or something like that," CBC News reporter Cecil Haire reported.

The town is offering a $500 reward for anyone with information on what happened to the steeple.

The former church was set to be torn down to make way for a graveyard. The Anglican Church had already deconsecrated the 116-year-old building and has been using a new church for several years. Following a public uproar, the town council in Portugal Cove-St. Philip's voted 6-1 on Tuesday night to save the unused church.

After the vote The Reverend Edward Keeping, rector of the community's church, stated that he was "disappointed at how the vote went" and blamed some members of council for having made up their minds before the matter was debated Tuesday night.

Keeping said most members of the church council approved demolition at their recent annual meeting, although most of the several dozen people who attended a meeting on the building Sunday wanted to preserve it. Many identified themselves as members of the congregation.

Keeping was not persuaded.

"We cannot afford it. We don't have the money," Keeping said.

As he was leaving the town office, Keeping encountered Steve Sharpe, who heads the preservation council. Keeping pointed into Sharpe's face and warned him not to come near the old church and cemetery again.

COMMENT: Well, at least this proves one thing once and for all. Not only did the Vikings discover Newfoundland - they are still there.

ONE BIG, HAPPY FAMILY FIRM

From THE SYDNEY MORNING HERALD:

In his Easter address at St Andrew's Cathedral in Sydney, the Head of the Family Firm told the congregation a secular society was a fast track to loneliness.

"I have emphasised human loneliness this Easter because that is what expert observers of our society are saying is a real problem," he said.

"It is what we would expect to occur given the secularist philosophy we have embraced. This philosophy emphasises the individual and individual rights, it invites us to invent our own lives and it undervalues commitment to other human beings. It is a recipe for loneliness and the path to a very lonely old age."

GLORIA, G-L-O-R-I-A

From THE HERALD SUN:

Melbourne Lord Mayor, Robert Doyle, has slammed a city nightclub as 'disrespectful' for using an image of Jesus on the Cross to promote an Easter event. He branded the advertisement "cheap, tacky, offensive, unnecessary, disrespectful and thoughtless".

"You feel like saying to these people 'grow up'," he said.

Catholic Bishop Christopher Prowse said the ad, published in a Melbourne street magazine, was "a real cheap shot" on a "day like no other" on the Christian calendar.

COMMENT: "A day like no other"? Oh good - young, teenage, church-going, Catholics deserve a day off occasionally, like everybody else.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

From THE JAMAICA GLEANER NEWS:

That must be so frustrating. Too much Viagra perhaps.

CAPTION COMPETITION

50 extra days off purgatory for the first truly unacceptable reference to the BVM.

Oh! I seem to have won them myself with:

"Well," thought Mary, "If I'm going to be stuck out here all day anyway it would be a crime not to take advantage of the opportunity to top up my tan."

A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY

Brought to you courtesy of red under
the bed, OCICBW... reader, Suzanne.

WHEN YOU OPEN THE SLUICE GATES

From THE TELEGRAPH:

The Rt Rev Richard Chartres said recently that not enough was being done to address the problem of "advertising, the internet (and) the stimulation of sexual appetites of young people in their dress."

Asked in a newspaper interview about clergy sex abuse, he replied: "Taking away innocence of young people, it is ghastly, and I wouldn't want to collude in any culture of cover-up. Although I have to say that when future generations look back on us they will say that they were very careful about abusing bodies but what about the amount of filth, innuendo, pornography they allowed to sluice through the minds of our young people."

COMMENT: He may have a point. Although, to be honest, I doubt it is possible to stimulate the sexual appetites of teenage boys anymore than they naturally are to begin with. If I remember rightly, I was pretty much turned on by anything and everything when I was 14 years old. For example, the buses that were used on the school run were old and their engines vibrated like washing machines on full spin. This invariably led to all us spotty herberts getting off at our destination with our school satchels placed strategically in front of us to avoid embarrassment.

ITALIANS KILL JESUS CHRIST- JEWS OWED ONE HELL OF AN APOLOGY

From THE PINK PAPER:

The bishop of Tursi, Francesco Nolè, has declared that ‘irregulars’ such as criminals and homosexuals should not be given communions or funerals. This, he said, is not to be seen as discrimination, but rather as ‘healthy medicine’ for those close to the person: “Our behaviour, which could be perceived as mean or cruel, in the long-run often heals and evangelises.”

He added: “We must have the courage and tact, perhaps first informing the individual, or the families if he has passed, that it’s not possible to administer a communion or funeral. We would perhaps pray for his soul, which must be done.”

His statements were made just days after two members of the Vatican were exposed as being part of a male prostitution ring.

Elsewhere, the Master of the Sistine Chapel choir, Clergyman Domenico Bartolucci, stated, “The church, with its eternal obsession with compassion, is or has already succumbed. Homosexual couples or those who are divorced and re-married are being called ‘irregulars’ instead of ‘public sinners’, and so the concept of sin itself goes down the drain. Nothing surprises me anymore. Homosexuality, which is a disease, has become something normal. They sprout like poisonous mushrooms, and instead of feeling shame they celebrate this plague and the church itself minimalises these sins. Homosexuality itself is not a sin, you can’t punish a sufferer. But it becomes one when the abomination is practised. It’s disgraceful.”

COMMENT: Is this "practicing" that homosexuals do the same as straight people masturbating? Or is it like a young lad not "going all the way" with his young sweetheart - maybe just going for a quick boob fondle? Whatever, I think it's a good idea to start off slowly at first. In fact, I think it is irresponsible of these bishops to recommend that people just jump in at the deep end. That could lead to embarrassing mistakes being made.

This item was brought to my notice by Mike G.

DO THIS IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME

Brought to you courtesy of a very observant
OCICBW... reader called Susan.

From MSNBC:

Flooding on a scale rarely seen in New England forced hundreds of people from their homes Wednesday, overwhelmed sewage systems to the point that families were asked to stop flushing toilets, and washed out bridges and highways from Maine to Connecticut.

In Peabody, north of Boston, some residents were evacuated, and downtown businesses piled sandbags at their front doors and nearby streets were closed.

Demetri Skalkos, co-owner of McNamara's liquor store, said about 3 feet of water stood in the basement. He said he was worried about losing business over the traditionally busy Easter period.

"This is the Holy Week," he said. "If we don't do business now, when are we going to do business?"