Saturday, 25 December 2010
Friday, 24 December 2010
DON'T BLAME MADPRIEST, BLAME JIM
A Methodist minister who, in church, preached against the drinking of alcohol, had a secret passion - he really enjoyed a drink now and then, most especially peach brandy. He had a friend who would secretly make him a bottle each Christmas.
One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the following Sunday. In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left.
The next Sunday his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment. The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the following Sunday. In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left.
The next Sunday his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment. The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
THE PRAYER LIST
24TH. DECEMBER 2010
Please pray for those in our community and beyond who will spend this Christmas in pain and/or alone and/or unemployed and/or exiled from their church.
Thursday, 23 December 2010
BLOG NOTICE
Due to my dental health problems my general health over the last couple of months has been rather poor, more so than I have been letting on. The abscesses made me feel ill all over and wore me down mentally. Blogging was a real chore. The main victim of my malaise has been St. Laika's as, to be honest, I just didn't feel like talking and concentrating on anything was like walking through mud.
However, the surgery on Tuesday was a major success. I'm not in any pain anymore, I've got my energy back and my mind feels like someone has turned the light back on. In fact, I'm quite hyper at the moment. PTL!
I've now got two days to get ready for Christmas (I couldn't really be arsed with it before). Therefore, blogging will be light as I have a lot to do (shopping and stuff) but I hope to have St. Laika's back up and running for Christmas.
So, my apologies, especially to those who have been waiting for replies to emails. Hopefully, the fortitude with which I coped with my abject misery has been an example to little martyrs everywhere, especially the men among you who, alone, will appreciate the suffering I have been through. There is no pain greater than a man's pain.
However, the surgery on Tuesday was a major success. I'm not in any pain anymore, I've got my energy back and my mind feels like someone has turned the light back on. In fact, I'm quite hyper at the moment. PTL!
I've now got two days to get ready for Christmas (I couldn't really be arsed with it before). Therefore, blogging will be light as I have a lot to do (shopping and stuff) but I hope to have St. Laika's back up and running for Christmas.
So, my apologies, especially to those who have been waiting for replies to emails. Hopefully, the fortitude with which I coped with my abject misery has been an example to little martyrs everywhere, especially the men among you who, alone, will appreciate the suffering I have been through. There is no pain greater than a man's pain.
Wednesday, 22 December 2010
OH BUGGER, IT'S CHRISTMAS!
22ND. DECEMBER 2010
As nobody except Grandmère Mimi ever says anything about my music selections I am just going to play stuff I know, at least, she is going to like.
On A Christmas Day - C.W. Stoneking
I Pray On Christmas - Dave Barnes
Christmas Time Blues - HoneyChile
Don't Wanna Be Alone For Christmas - Stacy Brooks
I Want My Baby for Christmas
- Jimmy Liggins And His Drops Of Joy
Low Down Holiday - Red Hot Blues Sisters
Shake Hands With Santa Claus - Louis Prima
PACK YOUR BAGS - WE'RE OFF TO BUGARACH
From THE BBC:
A French mayor has expressed concern over an influx of New Age believers to his village who are convinced they will escape the end of the world in 2012. Jean-Pierre Delord, mayor of Bugarach, says rumours are circulating that the village offers shelter from an impending Armageddon.
Bugarach is a small village of about 200 people in south-west France.
The mayor says that in recent years the village has attracted visitors looking for alien activity. Now it is seeing visitors who predict that the end of civilisation is due to occur in two years' time, he says.
They believe the world will end on 21 December 2012, the end of a 5,125-year-long cycle in the ancient Maya calendar. Many of the visitors believe that a group of aliens is hiding in a cavern in Bugarach's 1,231m mountain who will leave when the world ends and take them with them, according to the Sydney Morning Herald.
However, Nasa states on its website: "Nothing bad will happen to the Earth in 2012. Our planet has been getting along just fine for more than four billion years, and credible scientists worldwide know of no threat associated with 2012."
COMMENT: Oh yes? Then who or what exactly ate the moon yesterday morning, Mister Clever Clogs NASA Scientist?
THE PRAYER LIST
From THE ANGLICAN COMMUNION NEWS SERVICE:
The thoughts and prayers of many in the Anglican Communion are focused on Sudan at this time, as the people of Southern Sudan prepare for a referendum to decide their future. The referendum will take place on 9 January next, and all are invited to pray and to focus their concerns on that war-torn country at this time.
God our Father, whose son Jesus Christ wept over your people who knew not the way of peace, and were as sheep without a shepherd, hear our prayer for the people of the Sudan. Turn the hearts of their leaders to reconciliation and peace. Bless their Archbishop and clergy, that they may be true shepherds of your flock. Strengthen those who heal the wounded and feed the hungry. Hasten the time when all nations will own your just and gentle rule and receive your gift of peace, in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
***
Posted at WOUNDED BIRD:
UPDATE ON AILEEN
December 20, 9 p.m.
This is a message from Aileen's cousin, Tammy:
Just talked with Aileen's mom and the doctors put in the trach tube. Aileen responded to her mom by blinking, and she followed her with her eyes. Her blood pressure is stable and her heartbeat as well. She still has a bit of a high temperature. Please keep praying for my sweet, precious cousin Aileen. Thank you all so much for the prayers!!!! We all love her so much and I know she is going to pull through this.
Prayer request from David@Montreal:
It turns out my cherished cousin Frank is not to see Christmas at home. They discovered a serious growth on one of his lungs, and he's been hospitalized, with the doctors unable to give any idea how long the treatments will take- especially with holiday scheduling. They're going to be removing the mass and giving him treatment.
***
THANKSGIVINGS:
Firstly a huge, big thanks be to God for our friend MARK BRUNSON who has, somehow, managed to make it through to 43 years old (yesterday). Well done, mate!
***
From THE BBC:
The New Start nuclear treaty between the US and Russia has cleared a key procedural hurdle in the US Senate and now looks set to be ratified. Senators voted to end debate on the issue, clearing the way for a final vote on the treaty, set for Wednesday.
Ratification would be a victory for President Barack Obama and the Democrats, who have pushed hard for it.
On behalf of the bit that isn't the United States
- Thank you, Barack Obama.
***
Posted by IT at THE FRIENDS OF JAKE:
From UN Ambassador Susan Rice:
Today, the United Nations General Assembly has sent a clear and resounding message that justice and human rights apply to all individuals regardless of their sexual orientation.
Several weeks ago, on November 16, the General Assembly’s Third Committee voted by a narrow margin to eliminate any mention of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals from a resolution condemning extrajudicial killing of vulnerable people around the world. The United States fought hard for that reference when it came to a Committee vote, and we lost. As I have said before, I was incensed by that vote.
In the weeks following that setback, the United States was proud to introduce an amendment to restore this critical language to the biennial resolution on Extrajudicial, Summary, and Arbitrary Execution before it came for a final vote of the full UN General Assembly. On December 10, at an event marking Human Rights Day, I announced our effort and said, “We’re going to stand firm on this basic principle, and we intend to win.”
The U.S built a broad coalition of partners and together we galvanized member states to support this effort – and to win.
Today, the General Assembly voted by a significant margin, 93 to 55, to approve the U.S.-led amendment and condemn the extrajudicial killing of people around the world due to their sexual orientation.
***
My dental surgery, yesterday, was a little unpleasant as the anaesthetic didn't take very well because of the infection. But I was a brave boy and I let the dentist go ahead.
I was a bit worried because I could feel the pain of the operation as soon as I left the surgery. But, by the time the numbness had subsided I was pretty much pain free. To avoid my usual problem of succumbing to an infection after surgery, the dentist had given me some antibiotics straight away and, after a good night's sleep, I woke up this morning with my poor old face feeling more healthy than it has done for months, AND NO PAIN!
Thanks for your prayers, especially those from my fellow sufferers to whom I say, "There is light at the end of the tunnel!"
The thoughts and prayers of many in the Anglican Communion are focused on Sudan at this time, as the people of Southern Sudan prepare for a referendum to decide their future. The referendum will take place on 9 January next, and all are invited to pray and to focus their concerns on that war-torn country at this time.
God our Father, whose son Jesus Christ wept over your people who knew not the way of peace, and were as sheep without a shepherd, hear our prayer for the people of the Sudan. Turn the hearts of their leaders to reconciliation and peace. Bless their Archbishop and clergy, that they may be true shepherds of your flock. Strengthen those who heal the wounded and feed the hungry. Hasten the time when all nations will own your just and gentle rule and receive your gift of peace, in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
***
Posted at WOUNDED BIRD:
UPDATE ON AILEEN
December 20, 9 p.m.
This is a message from Aileen's cousin, Tammy:
Just talked with Aileen's mom and the doctors put in the trach tube. Aileen responded to her mom by blinking, and she followed her with her eyes. Her blood pressure is stable and her heartbeat as well. She still has a bit of a high temperature. Please keep praying for my sweet, precious cousin Aileen. Thank you all so much for the prayers!!!! We all love her so much and I know she is going to pull through this.
Prayer request from David@Montreal:
It turns out my cherished cousin Frank is not to see Christmas at home. They discovered a serious growth on one of his lungs, and he's been hospitalized, with the doctors unable to give any idea how long the treatments will take- especially with holiday scheduling. They're going to be removing the mass and giving him treatment.
***
THANKSGIVINGS:
Firstly a huge, big thanks be to God for our friend MARK BRUNSON who has, somehow, managed to make it through to 43 years old (yesterday). Well done, mate!
***
From THE BBC:
The New Start nuclear treaty between the US and Russia has cleared a key procedural hurdle in the US Senate and now looks set to be ratified. Senators voted to end debate on the issue, clearing the way for a final vote on the treaty, set for Wednesday.
Ratification would be a victory for President Barack Obama and the Democrats, who have pushed hard for it.
On behalf of the bit that isn't the United States
- Thank you, Barack Obama.
***
Posted by IT at THE FRIENDS OF JAKE:
From UN Ambassador Susan Rice:
Today, the United Nations General Assembly has sent a clear and resounding message that justice and human rights apply to all individuals regardless of their sexual orientation.
Several weeks ago, on November 16, the General Assembly’s Third Committee voted by a narrow margin to eliminate any mention of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals from a resolution condemning extrajudicial killing of vulnerable people around the world. The United States fought hard for that reference when it came to a Committee vote, and we lost. As I have said before, I was incensed by that vote.
In the weeks following that setback, the United States was proud to introduce an amendment to restore this critical language to the biennial resolution on Extrajudicial, Summary, and Arbitrary Execution before it came for a final vote of the full UN General Assembly. On December 10, at an event marking Human Rights Day, I announced our effort and said, “We’re going to stand firm on this basic principle, and we intend to win.”
The U.S built a broad coalition of partners and together we galvanized member states to support this effort – and to win.
Today, the General Assembly voted by a significant margin, 93 to 55, to approve the U.S.-led amendment and condemn the extrajudicial killing of people around the world due to their sexual orientation.
***
My dental surgery, yesterday, was a little unpleasant as the anaesthetic didn't take very well because of the infection. But I was a brave boy and I let the dentist go ahead.
I was a bit worried because I could feel the pain of the operation as soon as I left the surgery. But, by the time the numbness had subsided I was pretty much pain free. To avoid my usual problem of succumbing to an infection after surgery, the dentist had given me some antibiotics straight away and, after a good night's sleep, I woke up this morning with my poor old face feeling more healthy than it has done for months, AND NO PAIN!
Thanks for your prayers, especially those from my fellow sufferers to whom I say, "There is light at the end of the tunnel!"
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
SOME GOOD NEWS
It's okay, everybody. The moon is back. I've just seen it. The pagans were lying to us again. It wasn't eaten by the Maenads. That's just a silly story they used to tell children to scare them into behaving themselves and which has been completely replaced in these more enlightened times by the child eating Santa Claus and his evil elves.
IT'S IN THE TEALEAVES
Posted at SOUTH FLORIDA GAY NEWS:
Oh, those poor druids. I wouldn't wish such a thing on an Odinist even after what they did to the monks at Lindisfarne.
Oh, those poor druids. I wouldn't wish such a thing on an Odinist even after what they did to the monks at Lindisfarne.
THE NASTIEST BISHOP ON PLANET EARTH
From THE AGE (Australia):
Ballarat Anglican Bishop Michael Hough, forced to resign over complaints of bullying, did not go quietly on Monday. The controversial bishop's last act was to sack his vicar-general - the man who will run the diocese until a bishop is elected - and install his staunchest supporter, retired priest Arthur Savage.
Cathedral staff sent out emails to all clergy on Monday night, notifying them that popular Melbourne Assistant Bishop Philip Huggins - who took on the role in June after relationships within the diocese became poisonous - had been replaced, and three new archdeacons appointed.
Bishop Hough said in the email that a local man was needed to run the diocese, but opponents regard it as a final act of revenge.
Ballarat Anglican Bishop Michael Hough, forced to resign over complaints of bullying, did not go quietly on Monday. The controversial bishop's last act was to sack his vicar-general - the man who will run the diocese until a bishop is elected - and install his staunchest supporter, retired priest Arthur Savage.
Cathedral staff sent out emails to all clergy on Monday night, notifying them that popular Melbourne Assistant Bishop Philip Huggins - who took on the role in June after relationships within the diocese became poisonous - had been replaced, and three new archdeacons appointed.
Bishop Hough said in the email that a local man was needed to run the diocese, but opponents regard it as a final act of revenge.
MERRY CHRISTMAS YOUR ARSE
This is a huge disappointment. I really wanted a shot at this one. It's a gorgeous church and their profile was very exciting. What is more, I fitted the person spec. exactly.
I have sent many application forms into Southwark Diocese and I have received this bog standard reply to all of them. I would have thought that I would have stood a good chance of getting an interview down there as the diocese is renowned for being a home for liberals and other assorted oddballs (the late Dean of Southwark, being a perfect example of this). I don't know if I'm just blacklisted or if they only ever interview "important" people for their jobs and I'm not "sexy" enough for them. However, unless someone has the guts to tell me straight out that there's no way they would ever even consider employing me, I will persevere. I shall be like the annoying widow that pesters the judge until he gives in and gives her what she wants.
THE SOPPY SHEILA SELECTION
Well, at least Benny can pleased that at least there is one European that is taking his commandment to go forth and multiply seriously.
Thanks to John-Julian for sending in the
link for this item to MadPriest Towers.
Thanks to John-Julian for sending in the
link for this item to MadPriest Towers.
OH BUGGER, IT'S CHRISTMAS!
21ST. DECEMBER 2010
I'm being completely straight with you here. This jazzy/bluesy mix is the finest selection of Christmas songs you will ever come across in your lives (unless, of course, you don't particularly like jazzy/bluesy music).
Christmas Can't Be Very Far Away
- Diane Van Deurzen and Lisa Otey
If It Felt Like Christmas - Pauline Kyllonen
Keep Me For Christmas Time - Berries Blue
Christmas Is Cold - Porch Song Anthology
Little Touch of Christmas - Kimmie Rhodes
Please Come Home For Christmas
- Johnny Adams
My Favorite Time of the Year
- Dennis Angel Band
WARNING: If you insist on listening to this audio file whilst on your own and/or under the influence of alcohol, OCICBW... cannot be held responsible for any subsequent welling up on your part. In fact, we strongly suggest that you make sure you are with a cold stone sober person without a romantic bone in their body when you do press play, who can stand ready to slap you round the face and tell you not to be a sissy should you succumb to blubbing like a girlie.
IT'S A SICK OLD WORLD
A 57-year-old man has been fined by a Swedish court for grooming a 13-year-old girl for sex.
After arranging to meet the girl for sex, the man then deposited 500 kronor ($73) in her bank account in advance of their date. When the girl did not show up, the man obtained her home telephone number, called her father and demanded a refund.
The father then reported the 57-year-old to the police and charges were subsequently filed.
***
A Swedish couple's recent attempt to spice up their sex lives went horribly wrong, putting the man in hospital and his girlfriend in handcuffs.
After having a few drinks together, the couple started to get intimate in the wee hours of Tuesday morning. Not satisfied with traditional approaches to disrobing, the couple decided that it might be more fun to remove one another's underwear using a knife.
After the 47-year-old man successfully sliced the stockings off his girlfriend, she gingerly gripped the handle of the knife and took a shot at cutting her boyfriend's boxers right off his body. Unfortunately for the man, the 36-year-old woman apparently lacked the same level of skill as her boyfriend when it came to handling sharp objects. Rather than slashing through his underwear, the woman instead stabbed her boyfriend in the thigh.
"From what we understand, it was a sex act that went a bit wrong," stated Maud Johansson of the Västerås police.
***
A woman in eastern Sweden awoke with a start recently to find a strange man lying next to her in bed licking her arm. The young woman was asleep beside her boyfriend at the time of the stranger's unexpected visit.
Upon discovering the strange man’s tongue pressed against the inside of her elbow, the woman first woke up her boyfriend to ask if he knew who the stranger was. The couple’s initial attempts to force the unknown intruder out of the house were met with angry rebuttals from the man, who demanded to know who the couple was and what they were doing there.
The arm-tasting bandit has now been charged with sexual molestation, breaking and entering, as well as drug crimes, the newspaper reports.
In defending his actions, the 22-year-old man told police he was drunk at the time and has no recollection of entering the couple’s home or licking the woman’s arm.
***
A dispute over snow-clearing reached a tragic end when a man beat his neighbour to death with a snow shovel in North Rhine-Westphalia, police said Tuesday. The two men had repeatedly argued in recent days over whose responsibility it was to clear the snow on the common entrance to their properties. They were both shovelling snow yesterday afternoon when the attack happened about 1:30 pm Monday. A murder investigation has been established.
***
The above news items have all appeared recently in
"The Local" (SWEDEN and GERMANY editions).
After arranging to meet the girl for sex, the man then deposited 500 kronor ($73) in her bank account in advance of their date. When the girl did not show up, the man obtained her home telephone number, called her father and demanded a refund.
The father then reported the 57-year-old to the police and charges were subsequently filed.
***
A Swedish couple's recent attempt to spice up their sex lives went horribly wrong, putting the man in hospital and his girlfriend in handcuffs.
After having a few drinks together, the couple started to get intimate in the wee hours of Tuesday morning. Not satisfied with traditional approaches to disrobing, the couple decided that it might be more fun to remove one another's underwear using a knife.
After the 47-year-old man successfully sliced the stockings off his girlfriend, she gingerly gripped the handle of the knife and took a shot at cutting her boyfriend's boxers right off his body. Unfortunately for the man, the 36-year-old woman apparently lacked the same level of skill as her boyfriend when it came to handling sharp objects. Rather than slashing through his underwear, the woman instead stabbed her boyfriend in the thigh.
"From what we understand, it was a sex act that went a bit wrong," stated Maud Johansson of the Västerås police.
***
A woman in eastern Sweden awoke with a start recently to find a strange man lying next to her in bed licking her arm. The young woman was asleep beside her boyfriend at the time of the stranger's unexpected visit.
Upon discovering the strange man’s tongue pressed against the inside of her elbow, the woman first woke up her boyfriend to ask if he knew who the stranger was. The couple’s initial attempts to force the unknown intruder out of the house were met with angry rebuttals from the man, who demanded to know who the couple was and what they were doing there.
The arm-tasting bandit has now been charged with sexual molestation, breaking and entering, as well as drug crimes, the newspaper reports.
In defending his actions, the 22-year-old man told police he was drunk at the time and has no recollection of entering the couple’s home or licking the woman’s arm.
***
A dispute over snow-clearing reached a tragic end when a man beat his neighbour to death with a snow shovel in North Rhine-Westphalia, police said Tuesday. The two men had repeatedly argued in recent days over whose responsibility it was to clear the snow on the common entrance to their properties. They were both shovelling snow yesterday afternoon when the attack happened about 1:30 pm Monday. A murder investigation has been established.
***
The above news items have all appeared recently in
"The Local" (SWEDEN and GERMANY editions).
THE PRAYER LIST
From THE BBC:
At least three people have been killed and 30 injured by a bomb explosion at a bus station in Kenya's capital, Nairobi, police have said. The blast happened as passengers passed through a security checkpoint before boarding a coach, which was bound for Kampala in neighbouring Uganda.
One of those who died was carrying a bag which contained the bomb. Most of the wounded were Ugandans travelling home for Christmas.
Posted by Lois at GRACE EPISCOPAL CHURCH:
Yesterday in my sermon I concluded with the current status of a child in Norwalk, CT who needs a bone marrow donor in order to survive the leukemia that has returned stronger than ever after rounds of chemo and radiation.
His name is Sebastian and he lives on hope - and his beautiful smile.
This morning the Norwalk newspaper, The Hour, reports that over 300 people registered yesterday with the bone marrow bank. Hallelujah. May there be a match there for 7 year old Sebastian.
***
From Ann Fontaine (posted at WOUNDED BIRD):
Prayers for our son in law - David - who is having a thyroid biopsy and maybe more depending on what they find out. Dec. 20.
Update from his wife, Kristin:
I just heard from David's doctor that the surgery went well and he is in recovery. I'm off to pick him up in a few minutes.
Thanks for all of your good wishes. I'll send out further updates as
I get more information.
***
I have been unwell over the last few days and to add to my misery I am undergoing dental surgery this afternoon to extract a tooth root.
At least three people have been killed and 30 injured by a bomb explosion at a bus station in Kenya's capital, Nairobi, police have said. The blast happened as passengers passed through a security checkpoint before boarding a coach, which was bound for Kampala in neighbouring Uganda.
One of those who died was carrying a bag which contained the bomb. Most of the wounded were Ugandans travelling home for Christmas.
Posted by Lois at GRACE EPISCOPAL CHURCH:
His name is Sebastian and he lives on hope - and his beautiful smile.
This morning the Norwalk newspaper, The Hour, reports that over 300 people registered yesterday with the bone marrow bank. Hallelujah. May there be a match there for 7 year old Sebastian.
***
From Ann Fontaine (posted at WOUNDED BIRD):
Prayers for our son in law - David - who is having a thyroid biopsy and maybe more depending on what they find out. Dec. 20.
Update from his wife, Kristin:
I just heard from David's doctor that the surgery went well and he is in recovery. I'm off to pick him up in a few minutes.
Thanks for all of your good wishes. I'll send out further updates as
I get more information.
***
I have been unwell over the last few days and to add to my misery I am undergoing dental surgery this afternoon to extract a tooth root.
MADPRIEST'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
When it comes to animals there is no such thing as cupboard love. Or, to put it another way, all love, whether non-human or human, is cupboard love. All creatures love for a reason. Even those humans who are fortunate (or self-dellusional enough) to love everybody do so for a reason.
But love is not the motivation for love. It is what comes from the motivation in the same way that happiness follows a fortunate event. It is a real thing in its own right. When animals love it is of the same type as human love and the animal will feel the same emotion as humans do. It may even be a purer, stronger love than we experience because it is not made provisional by complex thought.
When a cat or a dog looks at you with loving eyes they are not trying to trick you into feeding them or for some other reason of self-interest. They have already achieved that aim. Their look of love is because they love you. To deny this is arrogance at its most human. The arrogance of a species that believes it is has been separately created and superior in all things to the rest of creation. It is this arrogance that is destroying the world. If we could only love as authentically as our pets love us we could save our planet and ourselves. Unfortunately, unlike the love animals experience the love humans experience is rarely anything other than self love.
But love is not the motivation for love. It is what comes from the motivation in the same way that happiness follows a fortunate event. It is a real thing in its own right. When animals love it is of the same type as human love and the animal will feel the same emotion as humans do. It may even be a purer, stronger love than we experience because it is not made provisional by complex thought.
When a cat or a dog looks at you with loving eyes they are not trying to trick you into feeding them or for some other reason of self-interest. They have already achieved that aim. Their look of love is because they love you. To deny this is arrogance at its most human. The arrogance of a species that believes it is has been separately created and superior in all things to the rest of creation. It is this arrogance that is destroying the world. If we could only love as authentically as our pets love us we could save our planet and ourselves. Unfortunately, unlike the love animals experience the love humans experience is rarely anything other than self love.
Monday, 20 December 2010
DON'T BLAME MADPRIEST, BLAME MAD DAD
A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset.
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me, a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
The husband began, 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
"Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you've had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they're too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued, 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
"Please, do you have anything else your wife doesn't use?"
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me, a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
The husband began, 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
"Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you've had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they're too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued, 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
"Please, do you have anything else your wife doesn't use?"
MEN AND THEIR MEAT
From THE SYDNEY MORNING HERALD:
At St Thomas' Anglican Church in the western Sydney suburb of Cranebrook, the altar and pews have been pushed to one side. In their place, a group of about 70 men watch intently as a butcher goes to work on a side of beef suspended from a steel frame.
This is a Men and Meat evening, an event that teaches men about the best cuts and how to cook them. A gourmet butchery owner, Michael Moore, said there is always a good turn out at the events where he gives the men an inside scoop about what cuts are cheap and what to look for in colour and texture. He makes a point of showing them which cuts go into sausages.
At St Thomas' Anglican Church in the western Sydney suburb of Cranebrook, the altar and pews have been pushed to one side. In their place, a group of about 70 men watch intently as a butcher goes to work on a side of beef suspended from a steel frame.
This is a Men and Meat evening, an event that teaches men about the best cuts and how to cook them. A gourmet butchery owner, Michael Moore, said there is always a good turn out at the events where he gives the men an inside scoop about what cuts are cheap and what to look for in colour and texture. He makes a point of showing them which cuts go into sausages.
AUSTRALIAN CATHOLICS DEFEND
BIOLOGICAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHILDREN
From NEWS.COM (Australia):
The Catholic Church is instructing parishioners to lobby federal MPs against voting for gay marriage, suggesting they base arguments on the natural order and the importance of a biological relationship with children rather than on marriage being a religious institution.
As pressure mounts inside the Labor Party for a change in the party's policy officially banning such marriages, both the gay lobby and now the Catholic Church are intensifying their efforts to win the debate.
MPs are consulting their constituents after a Greens motion urging politicians to seek the views of their electorates on changing marriage laws was passed last month in the House of Representatives with Labor's support.
In an open letter, the church tells its members that as "the Greens continue their assault on the culture of life . . . every Catholic should let federal legislators know that marriage and family, the cornerstone of society, must be protected at all costs."
COMMENT: This is the time of year when we are all reminded of the "continued assault on the culture of life" by greens - bloody brussel sprouts!
The Catholic Church is instructing parishioners to lobby federal MPs against voting for gay marriage, suggesting they base arguments on the natural order and the importance of a biological relationship with children rather than on marriage being a religious institution.
As pressure mounts inside the Labor Party for a change in the party's policy officially banning such marriages, both the gay lobby and now the Catholic Church are intensifying their efforts to win the debate.
MPs are consulting their constituents after a Greens motion urging politicians to seek the views of their electorates on changing marriage laws was passed last month in the House of Representatives with Labor's support.
In an open letter, the church tells its members that as "the Greens continue their assault on the culture of life . . . every Catholic should let federal legislators know that marriage and family, the cornerstone of society, must be protected at all costs."
COMMENT: This is the time of year when we are all reminded of the "continued assault on the culture of life" by greens - bloody brussel sprouts!
CHICKEN COUNCIL OF GREAT BRITAIN COMPLAINS
ABOUT DISCRIMINATION AGAINST POULTRY
From THE GUARDIAN:
About 10 million turkeys are expected to be eaten in the UK over Christmas with most people unaware of how the bird on their plate was killed. All that could change under proposed EU legislation that would require the labelling of unstunned halal and kosher meat, to the chagrin of Muslim and Jewish groups.
All meat and meat products "derived from animals that have not been stunned prior to slaughter ie have been ritually slaughtered," would have to be specified as such under amendment 205 to the EU food information regulations. The stated aim is to allow consumers to make an informed choice, consistent with their ethical concerns, but opponents argue it is discriminatory.
"If you are only labelling meat provided for Muslims and Jews you are discriminating against Muslims and Jews," said Shimon Cohen, campaign director for Shechita UK.
COMMENT: If the labelling states that the animal has been killed in accordance with halal and kosher requirements then it could be discriminatory. But if the label simply states that the animal was not stunned before being killed than it is not. End of story. Next!
About 10 million turkeys are expected to be eaten in the UK over Christmas with most people unaware of how the bird on their plate was killed. All that could change under proposed EU legislation that would require the labelling of unstunned halal and kosher meat, to the chagrin of Muslim and Jewish groups.
All meat and meat products "derived from animals that have not been stunned prior to slaughter ie have been ritually slaughtered," would have to be specified as such under amendment 205 to the EU food information regulations. The stated aim is to allow consumers to make an informed choice, consistent with their ethical concerns, but opponents argue it is discriminatory.
"If you are only labelling meat provided for Muslims and Jews you are discriminating against Muslims and Jews," said Shimon Cohen, campaign director for Shechita UK.
COMMENT: If the labelling states that the animal has been killed in accordance with halal and kosher requirements then it could be discriminatory. But if the label simply states that the animal was not stunned before being killed than it is not. End of story. Next!
A SATANIC JUSTICE
From MY SAN ANTONIO:
A sedative Oklahoma used to execute a death row inmate that is commonly used to euthanize animals could become more popular because of a nationwide shortage of a key ingredient in several states' lethal injection formulas, death penalty experts say.
John David Duty is believed to be the first person in the United States whose execution included the use of pentobarbital. The 58-year-old was pronounced dead at 6:18 p.m. Thursday at the Oklahoma State Penitentiary.
Oklahoma and several other states traditionally have used the barbiturate sodium thiopental to put an inmate to sleep, followed by two other drugs — pancuronium bromide, which paralyzes muscles, and potassium chloride, which stops the heart.
But Hospira Inc. — the only U.S. manufacturer of sodium thiopental — said Thursday new batches of the drug could be available "in the first quarter" of next year. They blamed the shortage on problems with its raw-material providers.
"It's a little uncertain if sodium thiopental will be available, so the states will be looking at what's happening in Oklahoma," said Richard Dieter, executive director of the Death Penalty Information Center. "If it works reasonably well, other states might go that way."
Oklahoma prisons spokesman Jerry Massie said after the execution that there did not appear to be any problems with the new drug.
Strapped to a gurney and wearing an eye patch over his right eye, the heavyset Duty apologized to his victim's family.
"I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me, not for my sake, but for your own," Duty said. "Thank you, Lord Jesus. I'm ready to go home."
The lethal drugs began to flow at 6:12 p.m., and Duty's breathing became labored one minute later. At 6:15 p.m., he appeared to stop breathing and the color began to drain from his face.
Duty pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in the 2001 slaying of 22-year-old Curtis Wise. At the time, Duty was serving three life sentences for rape, robbery and shooting with intent to kill.
COMMENT: Erm . . . What do two wrongs make?
A sedative Oklahoma used to execute a death row inmate that is commonly used to euthanize animals could become more popular because of a nationwide shortage of a key ingredient in several states' lethal injection formulas, death penalty experts say.
John David Duty is believed to be the first person in the United States whose execution included the use of pentobarbital. The 58-year-old was pronounced dead at 6:18 p.m. Thursday at the Oklahoma State Penitentiary.
Oklahoma and several other states traditionally have used the barbiturate sodium thiopental to put an inmate to sleep, followed by two other drugs — pancuronium bromide, which paralyzes muscles, and potassium chloride, which stops the heart.
But Hospira Inc. — the only U.S. manufacturer of sodium thiopental — said Thursday new batches of the drug could be available "in the first quarter" of next year. They blamed the shortage on problems with its raw-material providers.
"It's a little uncertain if sodium thiopental will be available, so the states will be looking at what's happening in Oklahoma," said Richard Dieter, executive director of the Death Penalty Information Center. "If it works reasonably well, other states might go that way."
Oklahoma prisons spokesman Jerry Massie said after the execution that there did not appear to be any problems with the new drug.
Strapped to a gurney and wearing an eye patch over his right eye, the heavyset Duty apologized to his victim's family.
"I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me, not for my sake, but for your own," Duty said. "Thank you, Lord Jesus. I'm ready to go home."
The lethal drugs began to flow at 6:12 p.m., and Duty's breathing became labored one minute later. At 6:15 p.m., he appeared to stop breathing and the color began to drain from his face.
Duty pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in the 2001 slaying of 22-year-old Curtis Wise. At the time, Duty was serving three life sentences for rape, robbery and shooting with intent to kill.
COMMENT: Erm . . . What do two wrongs make?
ANGLICAN RATS TO BOARD SINKING SHIP
The following report puts the numbers involved in Benny's poaching into perspective.
From THE EARTH TIMES:
It has emerged that tens of thousands of Germans left the Roman catholic Church this year in the wake of serious allegations of clerical abuse.
In Augsburg, where Bishop Walter Mixa admitted earlier this year that he had hit children in his care, more than 11,000 left the Catholic church. More than 17,000 left the Diocese of Stuttgart, an increase of more than 50 per cent on the previous year. Other Catholic dioceses reported similar rises in numbers of people leaving the faith. In many instances, believers switched to the Protestant church.
In Germany, membership of Christian and Jewish religious denominations is formally documented and used as a basis for charging so-called church taxes to fund religious institutions.
From THE EARTH TIMES:
It has emerged that tens of thousands of Germans left the Roman catholic Church this year in the wake of serious allegations of clerical abuse.
In Augsburg, where Bishop Walter Mixa admitted earlier this year that he had hit children in his care, more than 11,000 left the Catholic church. More than 17,000 left the Diocese of Stuttgart, an increase of more than 50 per cent on the previous year. Other Catholic dioceses reported similar rises in numbers of people leaving the faith. In many instances, believers switched to the Protestant church.
In Germany, membership of Christian and Jewish religious denominations is formally documented and used as a basis for charging so-called church taxes to fund religious institutions.
GERMANY - STILL ONE FOOT IN THE PAST
(THE FAR RIGHT FOOT)
From THE LOCAL (Germany):
Volker Kauder, the parliamentary leader of Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservative Christian Democrats, said on Monday that homosexual couples had no right to have children.
“This has to be accepted, even if it’s difficult for those affected,” Kauder told the daily Berliner Zeitung. “I don’t think children wish to be raised by homosexual couples.”
Germany introduced "registered partnerships" for same-sex couples in 2001, but stopped short of granting them the full rights and privileges afforded to married heterosexual couples. Homosexuals can legally adopt the children of their partners, but adopting an unrelated child as a couple is not currently allowed.
“This has to be accepted, even if it’s difficult for those affected,” Kauder told the daily Berliner Zeitung. “I don’t think children wish to be raised by homosexual couples.”
Germany introduced "registered partnerships" for same-sex couples in 2001, but stopped short of granting them the full rights and privileges afforded to married heterosexual couples. Homosexuals can legally adopt the children of their partners, but adopting an unrelated child as a couple is not currently allowed.
BULLYING BISHOP OF BALLARAT
ENACTS PARABLE OF THE DRAMA QUEEN
From THE AGE (Australia):
Anglican Bishop Michael Hough yesterday ended his controversial seven-year tenure, by smashing a ceramic pot, made for him by a local artist, with a hammer during his final cathedral service on Saturday
He told the packed cathedral the chalice was made for him when he took up the post, and was "a beautiful pot. But then along comes someone who hates the beauty of the pot, who resents the fact that it is slaking the thirst of the people in need of water. He does not want the pot there, as he has a pot of his own which he thinks is better … so the bitter man gathers a few others around him who support him in his dark intent, and they come and smash the pot to pieces."
Victims of the bishop's alleged bullying were aghast. "The bishop makes himself out to be a victim when he has been an enormous bully," said one, who did not want to be named. Another said: "It's like Genghis Khan complaining he's been wronged."
The bishop has a licence to work as a priest in Melbourne, and plans to continue in ministry. He said: "When they nail the lid on my coffin I'll still be preaching and teaching."
COMMENT: I have a feeling there will be plenty of volunteers ready and waiting with hammer and nails.
He told the packed cathedral the chalice was made for him when he took up the post, and was "a beautiful pot. But then along comes someone who hates the beauty of the pot, who resents the fact that it is slaking the thirst of the people in need of water. He does not want the pot there, as he has a pot of his own which he thinks is better … so the bitter man gathers a few others around him who support him in his dark intent, and they come and smash the pot to pieces."
Victims of the bishop's alleged bullying were aghast. "The bishop makes himself out to be a victim when he has been an enormous bully," said one, who did not want to be named. Another said: "It's like Genghis Khan complaining he's been wronged."
The bishop has a licence to work as a priest in Melbourne, and plans to continue in ministry. He said: "When they nail the lid on my coffin I'll still be preaching and teaching."
COMMENT: I have a feeling there will be plenty of volunteers ready and waiting with hammer and nails.
FIRST IT WAS HISTORY
- NOW THEY ARE TRYING
TO REWRITE GEOGRAPHY
From TYPICALLY SPANISH:
The teacher, with more than 20 years in the profession, was explaining to the class how the cold climate in Trevélez, Granada province, aided in the curing of the village’s most famous local product, jamón serrano. The boy told his teacher that hearing the word ‘ham’ in class was offensive to him because of his religion and asked his geography teacher to stop referring to the product which caused him offence.
El Mundo newspaper reports that the boy’s parents then reported the teacher to both the National Police and to the courts. It’s understood that an internal investigation is also underway by the education authority in Cádiz province.
The teacher, with more than 20 years in the profession, was explaining to the class how the cold climate in Trevélez, Granada province, aided in the curing of the village’s most famous local product, jamón serrano. The boy told his teacher that hearing the word ‘ham’ in class was offensive to him because of his religion and asked his geography teacher to stop referring to the product which caused him offence.
El Mundo newspaper reports that the boy’s parents then reported the teacher to both the National Police and to the courts. It’s understood that an internal investigation is also underway by the education authority in Cádiz province.
OMG! SHE'S KILLED RUDOLPH. YOU BASTARD!
Children were left devastated today at the news that failed Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin had shot and killed Santa’s chief reindeer, Rudolph. Dancer and Vixen were also injured in the incident yesterday evening as Santa and his team flew over Alaska on their return from a pre-Christmas practice run.
Full story at NEWSBISCUIT.
Thanks to the ever vigilant, THEMETHATISME,
for sending the link into MadPriest Towers.
Comments along the lines of "My goodness! Your photoshop is a lot better than theirs, MadPriest." Will be very much appreciated.
Full story at NEWSBISCUIT.
Thanks to the ever vigilant, THEMETHATISME,
for sending the link into MadPriest Towers.
Comments along the lines of "My goodness! Your photoshop is a lot better than theirs, MadPriest." Will be very much appreciated.
OH BUGGER, IT'S CHRISTMAS!
20TH. DECEMBER 2010
Have yourself an indie little Christmas!
Low (above)
Snow Patrol
Ingo Star Cruiser (En Français)
Aberdeen City
Evening Hymns
Ingo Star Cruiser
Social Interaction Foundation
Fanfarlo
THE PRAYER LIST
Posted by LKT at THE INFUSION:
Ivory Coast Update:
Hundreds of people in Ivory Coast are reported to have been abducted from their homes since last month's disputed election, the UN says.
The UN High Commissioner for Human Rights says some of the assailants wore military uniforms and there is evidence of "massive" human rights violations.
More than 50 people have died in violence in recent days, she adds.
***
From THE BBC:
Security forces in Belarus have arrested hundreds of people who protested against the result of the country's presidential election. At least six presidential candidates were also arrested. Some of them were reportedly beaten by police.
The US has accused the government of using "excessive force".
From THE BBC:
Christmas Island wreck update:
Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard says as many as 48 asylum seekers may have been killed when their boat sank last week off Christmas Island. So far 30 bodies have been recovered after the boat hit rocks and broke apart in stormy seas on Wednesday.
Officials have been talking to the 42 survivors to try to determine how many more people may still be missing.
***
From Viv (ZEN AND THE ART OF TIGHTROPE WALKING):
There were complications; but I am now home, sore and in pain but glad to be home and in the quiet away from the incessant noise of hospital. Not 100% succesful and I will have to have a repeat of the same procedure to get the rest of the (benign) tumour. Hey ho. There was also mention of malfunctioning machinery but I didn't ask details.
thanks to everyone.
***
Posted by janinsanfran at CAN IT HAPPEN HERE:
I am sick and tired of being sick. Even since I got back from Nepal, I've had a lingering pneumonia with the usual nasal, throat and sinus complications. Every time I think I'm getting my energy and wits back, it rears up again.
***
Posted by The Postulant at EMBER DAYS:
My pastor of many years, whom we all knew as "Brother Bobby," though more impressive-sounding titles were his by right, died last week. He baptized me upon my profession of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and he was responsible in many ways for forming me and my parents and countless other people in the faith. And though I have left the tradition in which I was brought up, I remain grateful for that upbringing, and especially grateful for him as a preacher and teacher and pastor.
May he rest in peace and rise in glory, by the power of the One whom he taught me to know and to love.
***
THANKSGIVING:
So, I’ve been very busy with Phyllis as you can imagine. She arrived from Billings on Thursday afternoon, met Ken and me, Bandit and Quimby and then I drove her to Butte to live in the Big House the next day.
More details and cute photos at FROM ETERNITY TO HERE:
And congratulations to the two new daddies!
Ivory Coast Update:
Hundreds of people in Ivory Coast are reported to have been abducted from their homes since last month's disputed election, the UN says.
The UN High Commissioner for Human Rights says some of the assailants wore military uniforms and there is evidence of "massive" human rights violations.
More than 50 people have died in violence in recent days, she adds.
***
From THE BBC:
Security forces in Belarus have arrested hundreds of people who protested against the result of the country's presidential election. At least six presidential candidates were also arrested. Some of them were reportedly beaten by police.
The US has accused the government of using "excessive force".
From THE BBC:
Christmas Island wreck update:
Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard says as many as 48 asylum seekers may have been killed when their boat sank last week off Christmas Island. So far 30 bodies have been recovered after the boat hit rocks and broke apart in stormy seas on Wednesday.
Officials have been talking to the 42 survivors to try to determine how many more people may still be missing.
***
From Viv (ZEN AND THE ART OF TIGHTROPE WALKING):
There were complications; but I am now home, sore and in pain but glad to be home and in the quiet away from the incessant noise of hospital. Not 100% succesful and I will have to have a repeat of the same procedure to get the rest of the (benign) tumour. Hey ho. There was also mention of malfunctioning machinery but I didn't ask details.
thanks to everyone.
***
Posted by janinsanfran at CAN IT HAPPEN HERE:
I am sick and tired of being sick. Even since I got back from Nepal, I've had a lingering pneumonia with the usual nasal, throat and sinus complications. Every time I think I'm getting my energy and wits back, it rears up again.
***
Posted by The Postulant at EMBER DAYS:
My pastor of many years, whom we all knew as "Brother Bobby," though more impressive-sounding titles were his by right, died last week. He baptized me upon my profession of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and he was responsible in many ways for forming me and my parents and countless other people in the faith. And though I have left the tradition in which I was brought up, I remain grateful for that upbringing, and especially grateful for him as a preacher and teacher and pastor.
May he rest in peace and rise in glory, by the power of the One whom he taught me to know and to love.
***
THANKSGIVING:
So, I’ve been very busy with Phyllis as you can imagine. She arrived from Billings on Thursday afternoon, met Ken and me, Bandit and Quimby and then I drove her to Butte to live in the Big House the next day.
More details and cute photos at FROM ETERNITY TO HERE:
And congratulations to the two new daddies!
HYPOCRITE OF THE YEAR 2010
We have a winner!
A certain Church of England bishop tells an assistant priest he is about to make redundant that he cannot possibly help said priest get a new post because bishops don't work like that anymore.
Later that year the same certain bishop sends an email to the clergy of the diocese stating that he is about to get a new assistant bishop. He also states in the email that he will be arranging for the new bishop's wife to obtain gainful employment within the diocese as soon as possible. This is a promise he immediately and successfully delivers on.
Episcopal Integrity
R.I.P
A certain Church of England bishop tells an assistant priest he is about to make redundant that he cannot possibly help said priest get a new post because bishops don't work like that anymore.
Later that year the same certain bishop sends an email to the clergy of the diocese stating that he is about to get a new assistant bishop. He also states in the email that he will be arranging for the new bishop's wife to obtain gainful employment within the diocese as soon as possible. This is a promise he immediately and successfully delivers on.
Episcopal Integrity
R.I.P
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