GENERATOR ABUSE LEADS TO CONFLICT

From THE DAILY SUN:

All is not well at Our Saviour’s Church of the Anglican Communion, Tafawa Balewa Square, Lagos, as members battle their Vicar, Venerable Sam Igein Isemede, and Parish Church Council (PCC) over various allegations.

The allegations were said to border on pride, dishonesty, high-handedness, mismanagement of funds, wrong use of generator in the vicarage, divide-and-rule tactics and N300 million pipe organ project of the church among others.

Daily Sun learnt that a member of the church, Ms. Bukunola Odusanwo, sent a petition entitled: My Concern about the Church Leadership, to the vicar in October last year in which she brought all the perceived atrocities against the leadership of the church to his notice.

COMMENT: Now this is just the sort of thing that the Anglican Covenant is designed to nip in the bud. On page 7614 of the Covenant document, paragraph 27, it states: "Any province caught wrongly using the vicarage generator will be immediately sneered at from afar and NOT invited to Rowan's birthday party (which is at MacDonald's this year, so they will really miss out and serves them right)."

WARNING: This is a funny story, children. But using generators for purposes not set out in the manual of instruction can lead to serious burns on parts of your body which, believe me, you just don't want to get burnt (honest - the chilli pepper idea sounded great at the time but it was, in hindsight, a big mistake). Treat all vicarage machinery with respect at all times.