From THE SEATTLE TIMES
(Winner of Eight Pulitzer Prizers)
And, surely, this has got to be the ninth:
Police say a man was carrying a dead weasel when he burst into a Hoquiam apartment and assaulted a man.
The victim asked, "Why are you carrying a weasel?" Police said the attacker said, "It's not a weasel, it's a marten," then punched him in the nose and fled.
Thanks to Laura for sending this gem in.