WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S

EVENING 

PRAYER

WEDNESDAY

30TH. 

NOVEMBER 

2011

ON THE 

FEAST OF 

ST. ANDREW

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

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JUST AS WE THOUGHT THINGS COULDN'T GETANY WORSE... A MADPRIEST GANG UPDATE

Having only just got back from Norfolk I received a phone call earlier today in which I was told that police had broken into my father in law's house this morning and found him lying comatose on the floor. So he is now in the same hospital as my mother in law and we are back on the road again tomorrow, travelling all the way back to Norfolk.

I think I shall be ignoring Christmas this year. I've decided to give all my money to the petrol companies and hoteliers of Norwich instead.

BRING BACK THE GLAM!

Just try a little wig wam bam!

A BIG TEASE

"I had in fact approached Mr. Guiness to ask if he would mind me quoting a rather impolitic comment he had made about a very prominent official in the Church of England. He asked me not to quote him and I will not do so – at least for the time being. He may change his mind and want his opinion of that individual’s religious stewardship published one day." (Junior Campbell, ALLVOICES)

I hate it when bloggers tease like this (that Grandmère Mimi is one of the biggest culprits). It really annoys me. I think we can all guess who the "very prominent official" is and if anybody out there is privy to Mr Guiness' sleight on my beloved leader (possibly), oh, please do send me the dirt.

NEIGHBOURHOOD BLOGGER MAKES GOOD

Congratulations to our longstanding friend and my fellow blogger, Marshall S. Scott from EPISCOPAL CHAPLAIN AT THE BEDSIDE, who took up the post of Director of spiritual wellness for the St. Luke’s Health System in Kansas City last Monday. He is now responsible for overseeing the chaplaincy work in eleven area hospitals and several primary and specialty care practices. He tells me that his new ministry is " exciting and intimidating and confusing," but that he hopes the latter two conditions will reduce over time.

But not only that, Marshall has also made the pages of THE KANSAS CITY STAR. Go check out their interview with him and do add his blog to your lists as his posts are always full of wisdom, useful advice and good practice.

OH BUGGER! IT'S CHRISTMASPOR EL PADRE MICKEY

CHOSEN FOR THEIR IGNORANCE?

From a secret Torah Declaration, being passed around between ultra-orthodox Jews, exposed yesterday at THE HUFFINGTON POST:

We emphatically reject the notion that a homosexually inclined person cannot overcome his or her inclination and desire. Behaviors are changeable. The Torah does not forbid something which is impossible to avoid. Abandoning people to lifelong loneliness and despair by denying all hope of overcoming and healing their same-sex attraction is heartlessly cruel.

The therapy consists of reinforcing the natural gender-identity of the individual by helping him or her understand and repair the emotional wounds that led to its disorientation and weakening, thus enabling the resumption and completion of the individual’s emotional development…There is no other practical, Torah-sanctioned solution for this issue.

It requires tremendous bravery and fortitude for a person to confront and deal with same-sex attraction. For example a sixteen-year-old who is struggling with this issue may be confused and afraid and not know whom to speak to or what steps to take. We must create an atmosphere where this teenager (or anyone) can speak freely to a parent, rabbi, or mentor and be treated with love and compassion. Authority figures can then guide same-sex strugglers towards a path of healing and overcoming their inclinations.

COMMENT: It's all about control. Powerful Jewish leaders are just as bad as everyone else when it comes to having to be in charge. In "The New Statesman" this week there was an interview with the chief rabbi of England, Jonathan Sacks. In it he argues that blogging is bad and that the internet is best used for "education." I can guess who he thinks should be educated and by whom that educating should be done.

WELL, FLOG MY DOLPHIN!

From THE GUARDIAN:

Officials in Pakistan are demanding that mobile phone operators block all text messages that include words they define as being "offensive". The Pakistan Telecommunications Authority has produced a list of more than 1,000 swearwords, anatomical terms and other phrases judged likely to be used obscenely. The usual, unrepeatable, suspects are there, but so are a number of seemingly innocuous words, the inclusion of which has baffled some observers, including the following:

Axing the weasel
Backdoor
Banging
Budweiser
Deposit
Dome
Finger food
Floggin the dolphin
Footstar
G-Unit
Hobo
Kumquat
Hole
Idiot
Joint
Lotion
Pud
Satan
Sleezebag
Stringer
Tongue
Trojan
Trots

They are also recommending the banning of really naughty words such as "breast" and "homosexual," as well as the word "Jesus."

COMMENT: Muhammed me sideways! What a bunch of jerks.
That's if I'm allowed to say "jerks."

TAKING CARE OF NUMBER ONE

From THE BBC:

The Archbishop of York has said council tax should rise to protect services for "vulnerable" people.

Dr John Sentamu was speaking at the launch of a report by the York Fairness Commission. The commission was established to advise the City of York Council on how to tackle social injustice and poverty.

He said the council must consider unpopular decisions in order to create "a fairer society".

He added: "It will need courage to accept that for some of us life may have to become a little less comfortable in order for it to be more bearable for others."

COMMENT: It is my duty as an honest Englishman to point out to you all that the Archbishop of York does not, because of the terms of his employment, pay council tax. However, I expect that he has waived this perk and is paying York Council the full annual rates on his palace out of his own pocket as anything less would be hypocritical and downright disgusting.

BELT UP, BENEDICT!

THE WASHINGTON POST reports that "an unnamed German man" has "filed charges against 'Mr. Joseph Ratzinger' for allegedly failing to use a seat belt while touring Germany on an official visit in September."

The unnamed plaintiff, from Dortmund, argues that the pope was seen several times during the visit without a seat belt. The complaint offers several eyewitnesses, including the archbishop of Freiburg, the head of the German Conference of Bishops and the premier of the state of Baden-Wuerttemberg.

"If found guilty, the pope could face fines of between 30 and 2,500 euros ($40 to $3,340)."

COMMENT: Those Germans are just not tough enough when it comes to law enforcement. The Americans would never have let him get away with it...

ON THE ROAD WITH JESUS AND MARY

The belt of the Mother of God has left the Cathedral of Christ the Savior in Moscow and is now to be taken back to a Greek Orthodox monastery on Mount Athos where it had been kept as one of the holiest relics for more than two centuries.

Before being taken to Vnukovo-3 airport, the relic was driven in a special bus around the Russian capital.

***

From COVENTRY TELEGRAPH:

Martin Cotterill was stunned to see an image of the Messiah emerge before his eyes during a visit to a Coventry clinic. He had just undergone treatment at Longford Health Centre and the blue paper towel had been put over his foot to dry it.

He said: “I looked down and I just saw this face appear. “I said to the nurse, ‘look at this’. She didn’t need to ask where because the face was so clear."

Mr Cotterill lives in Fretton Close, Paradise, Coventry which is wonderfully appropriate.

PASTORS REFUSE TO PAY WAGES OF SIN

A bunch of Nigerian, male pastors from a "popular" church in Asaba, the Delta State capital, resolved recently to "win many converts, especially the prostitutes who stay in brothels, in order for them to grow their church’s membership."

According to the LEADERSHIP website, "An eyewitness said that preachers had gained audience with the harlots but after a period of time they were disoriented by the sudden display of breasts and other revealing body parts which reportedly hypnotized the preachers. Their hosts then took them into their rooms where they were said to have performed ‘quickies.’"

A "fight broke out when the evangelists regained their composure and insisted on not paying the harlots’ bills, arguing that that was not their original mission. During the scuffle, they ladies reportedly burnt the pastors’ Bibles and clothes."

MADPRIEST PUTS UP THE CHRISTMAS DECS

WHEN IS A RISK NOT A RISK?WHEN IT MAKES GOOD COPY.

From THE SUNDERLAND ECHO:

The new bishop of Durham says, “The Church needs to be risk-taking. We need to take more risks.”

For an example, he referred to Wearside’s successful Street Pastor scheme, which works out of Sunderland Minster.

“This is work through the grace of God. It’s the right thing to do. There is no ulterior motive, and the work reflects the true nature of God. The pastors provide an important service to young people out late on the streets. The pastor’s work is sacrificial, it’s a real service to others.

“It’s edgy stuff, but it’s brilliant and we need to be doing more of it. Real God stuff. If we’re too comfortable, we’re probably not doing what we should be,” he concluded.

HE'S BACK! THE OCICBW...OH BUGGER! IT'S CHRISTMASCHIEF KOOFREH SPECIAL

This is just so moving. In fact, I wanted to move to the other side of the universe to get as far away from it as possible.

ENTIRE CONGREGATION ASK THEMSELVES,"HAVE WE DIED AND GONE TO HELL?"

Thanks to David Virtue's Bounteous Bosom for the link to this truly terrifying video. PTL we're not like these long suffering and tortured Christians.

I JUST WANT TO SAY, LORD, THATTHIS BLOG IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Check out "Commandments Concerning Times Of Prayer"
at STUFF FUNDIES LIKE for full instructions on how
to get what you want from God.

Thanks To John for sending me the link.

CROWN HIM WITH MANY CROWNS

From THE SUNDERLAND ECHO:

Hundreds turned out to witness the inauguration of the Right Reverend Justin Welby at Durham Cathedral on Saturday. He has now become the fourth most senior Bishop in the Church of England (please note: in England we got rid of the threefold ordained ministry years ago and now have hundreds of orders categorised in a strictly hierarchical manner - thanks be to Our Lord Jesus Christ who did not cling to equality with God).

As part of the traditional ceremonial role, he knocked on the door of Durham Cathedral three times before entering.

After being announced as Bishop of Durham to much applause, he said in his sermon that Christians had a role to play during the tough economic climate and it was a time of “opportunity”.

“We now have a task, a calling from God to rekindle the Christian faith in the North East,” he said.

Bishop Welby was also presented with a sword which, according to ancient legend, was used in medieval times to slay a dragon.

COMMENT: Oh, shit! I better lay low for a while if he's got his hands on that bloody sword.

THE SOPPY PAUL(A) SELECTION

GOING FOR A MEXICAN

Thanks to Michelle for this cute vid.

PERFECTLY PEPPERED FINGERNAILS

Our good friend from down under, Boaz, has come up with a new take on the pepper spray meme and I like it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRACIE THE RED!

THE RETURN OF...OH BUGGER! IT'S CHRISTMAS

WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S

ST. LAIKA'S
ADVENT 
CAROL 
SERVICE

2011

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.

Download via the MP3 icon below the player.

Download podcast via iTUNES.

MP3 File

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