Friday, 13 January 2012

ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH
CLAIMS CHILD ABUSE RECORD

A Roman Catholic priest in Germany has admitted to 280 counts of sexually abusing three boys over a several-year period. The 46-year-old priest, who has been suspended, went on trial Thursday at the state court in Braunschweig. The dapd news agency reported that he showed no remorse.

Ye gods! How are they going to spin this one?

THERE ARE NO FALSE PROPHETS IN ENGLAND

At least, according to well-known Seattle idol worshipper, Mark Driscoll, there aren't. In the current edition of "Christianity Magazine" (that's just it's title which doesn't necessarily reflect the content of the rag), the man with the world's biggest inferiority complex, claims, "Let’s just say this: right now, name for me the one young, good Bible teacher that is known across Great Britain. You don’t have one – that’s the problem."

Well, praise the Lord! The last thing my green and pleasant land needs is to be infested with misogynist, homophobic, ageist, strutting throwbacks to Homo Erectus going around trying to recruit young men to the church by telling them they can disregard every advance in equality achieved in the last one hundred years. It's bad enough having to live down the homophobia and class snobbery of the Church of England without having "Sarah Palin in pants" making our embarrassment even worse.

WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S

EVENING
PRAYER

13TH. JANUARY 2012

FEAST OF 
SAINT HILARY

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.
Download via the MP3 icon below the player.
Download podcast via iTUNES.


MP3 File




THE RETURN OF LOUD FRIDAY




Band's MYSPACE page

MOSES ON DIVORCE

From THE DAILY MAIL:

He is a senior Church of England cleric and Queen’s chaplain who has written guides to marital harmony. But the Reverend Canon Andrew Clitherow’s own affairs of the heart are causing quite a stir in his parish.

His congregation is in uproar and so is the local bishop. For Canon Clitherow, 60, is said to have assured the diocese there was no one else involved when he split from the second Mrs Clitherow last year. Now, less than a year later, the father of four has married Nicola Howard, 44. She has moved into the sprawling Georgian vicarage with him.

Canon Clitherow was first married to Elizabeth in 1982 and the couple have two children. He left her and married his second wife Rebekah in 2002, ten years after meeting her while she was still a pupil at Rossall public school, where he was working as a choirmaster and chaplain. They also had two children together and appeared to be blissfully happy. But he stunned the congregation at St Cuthbert’s Parish Church in Lytham St Annes last March when he admitted he and Rebekah had separated after nine years of marriage and were to divorce.

The Canon is no longer performing any church duties and is said to be on ‘sick leave’.


GRAND TUFTI GOES BACK TO SCHOOL

From THE TELEGRAPH:

Dr Rowan Williams, 61, was questioned by Rowan Williams, 11, about his role as the most senior cleric in the Church of England during a school visit in Oxford. He was asked to explain why women are not allowed to be bishops, and replied: “It's pretty complicated but we are working on it.”

The Archbishop also told how he had enjoyed drama at school and there was a “short fantasy moment” when he thought about becoming an actor.


COMMENT: Well, if being an actor is about pretending to be someone you are not, in public, then at least one childhood dream has come true for the old boy.

MONKEY BUSINESS IN THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND



A big thank you to Deacon Charlie Perrin for sending in this gem.

Thursday, 12 January 2012

PATENTLY ABSURD

The leaders of two of the world's major religions, Islam and Christianity, are in a state of shock today following the announcement that the government of Israel has taken out an international patent on the One, True God.

A statement, released today by the Knesset, claims that because Richard Dawkins sells more books than the Pope, it is now obvious that God does not exist. Therefore, the Israelis conclude, God is just an idea, an invented and imaginary concept and, most important of all as far as they are concerned, it is their invented and imaginary concept. Basically they are saying that the One, True God is their intellectual property in the same way that "The God Delusion" is Dawkins' intellectual property.

Although international courts are yet to rule on the legality of Israel's monopolisation of monotheism, the United Nations has issued a provisional injunction which forbids anybody, other than Jews, from making any reference to God in their services and literature. The New Testament and the Koran are now technically illegal and publication of either book without the permission of the Knesset will be regarded as a breach of copyright. Ownership of existing copies may well render the owner guilty of being an accomplish to the original crime of bootlegging or, at the very least, being in receipt of stolen goods. In an attempt to minimise the number of potential lawsuits the leader of Iran's Cloudy But Dry Muslims, Ayatollah Dinnerjacket, has contact Poppa Benny in Rome with the interesting suggestion, "We'll burn yours and you burn ours."

However, OCICBW...'s legal experts believe that, although Israel's ownership of the One, True God may be difficult to challenge successfully in court, this does not mean that Roman Catholics will have to stop worshipping the Virgin Mary or evangelicals, the yankee dollar. In fact, some church leaders are trying to spin this unexpected development as an opportunity rather than a problem. The Grand Tufti of the Church of England is personally quite excited as he hopes the removal of the Bible from bookshop shelves will lead to an increase in the sales of his own books. Taking a different tack the Presiding Tufti of the U.S. Episcopal Church is simply taking the view that any international patents or injunctions and, certainly, anything the UN decides, do not apply to her church because it's American.

THE MIDNIGHT JUKEBOX


For a friend.



Ruth Etting (November 23, 1897 — September 24, 1978) was an American singing star and actress of the 1920s and 1930s, who had over 60 hit recordings and worked in stage, radio, and film. She is known as "America's Sweetheart of Song." (WIKIPEDIA)

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

TRACIE THE RED'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

AND A SON WHO HAS MURDERED HIS BROTHER

A friend of mine over on Facebook recommended that I watch this because I was obviously having trouble getting my head round Christian marriage. I'm so glad I did because I was obviously basing my remarks on the false doctrine that God is love and we should love one another. PTL Mrs Bowers was there to put me straight, so to speak.

CAPTION COMPETITION


I think Georg Gänswein is thinking "I recognise that smile."

But I'm sure you can come up with loads more ideas.

So off you go then!

ATHEISM WILL EAT ITSELF

Every time I state that there is no morality without an eternal reason for acting in a prescribed way I am attacked by various correspondents. As I have a perfectly logical reason for believing this to be true and, even though I have begged people to give me a logical reason why it should not be true, nobody ever has, I will continue to say that atheism can have no real morality attached to it. However, unreal as morality may or may not be our experiences of life, at least, feel real. When we are depressed we experience a feeling that we would prefer not to experience. The converse is true with happiness. Some physical experiences are enjoyable, whilst some physical experiences are painful. No matter what esoteric ideas we may have about the true nature of experience for all intents and purposes pleasure is good and pain is bad. Therefore, it is perfectly reasonable, in fact it is the only sensible course of of action, to maximise our pleasure and minimise our pain. If we do that for others then we can expect that others will do that for us and so we end up with a practical pseudo-morality for a godless world.

In such a godless world all claims that something is better than another thing must be backed up by  utilitarian logic based on the pseudo-morality I proposed above. You cannot, for example, claim that we should not covet our neighbour's ox simply because that what it says in the Bible. However, you could claim that such covetousness is wrong because it may well lead to a loss of happiness for the owner of the ox.

If we follow this code of communal living, the value of specific truths are dependant on the consequences of making them public. Truth, in and of itself, has no value. It is neither good nor bad. Basically, we can believe whatever we like as long as it does not hurt anybody else. Therefore, if a scientist makes the statement that there is absolutely no evidence that a certain homeopathic remedy cures cancer but there is evidence that a certain drug cures cancer, that would be a good truth that should be accepted by all as it will lead cancer sufferers to seek the right treatment and be cured rather than taking the wrong treatment and die prematurely and painfully. But for a scientist to claim that the earth goes round the sun rather than the sun circling the earth may only be a matter of interest. Such a discovery may cause certain people pleasure but there is no reason, in a godless universe, to campaign against contrary views even if they are poppycock.

Religion is tied in with all sorts of rules and regulations, some of which are good (such as charity) and some of which are bad (such as the oppression of certain groups within society) according to my proposed atheistic morality. But, if you strip away all these encumbrances from religion you are left with basic beliefs that affect only the believer. For example, Christians believe in a loving God who created the universe. It would be a perverse thinker who regarded such a belief as a painful thing. In fact, overwhelmingly, scientific investigation has shown that believers in such concepts derive great happiness from their belief. Therefore, to work to disabuse such people of their beliefs would be to remove happiness from them and would be contrary to the pseudo-moral code of atheism. The claim that the non-existence of God is the truth means nothing in a meaningless universe, so why bother?

I am not saying that we should hide the truth or stop looking for truth. Scientific truth should be accesible to everybody. But, to deliberately set out to persuade believers that there is no god is, at best, pointless and, at worst, an evil thing to do if you believe that, even in a godless universe, we should seek to increase happiness and decrease suffering.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

CELIBATE FORMER FASCIST SPEAKS OUT OF ARSE

What I want to know is why a gay couple can trigger Armageddon but not a celibate priest. I mean, surely the issue (or rather the lack of issue) is exactly the same.

From REUTERS:


Pope Benedict said Monday that gay marriage was one of several threats to the traditional family that undermined "the future of humanity itself." He made some of his strongest comments against gay marriage in a new year address to the diplomatic corps accredited to the Vatican in which he touched on some economic and social issues facing the world today. He told diplomats from nearly 180 countries that the education of children needed proper "settings" and that "pride of place goes to the family, based on the marriage of a man and a woman."

"This is not a simple social convention, but rather the fundamental cell of every society. Consequently, policies which undermine the family threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself," he said.


AND THE GOLDEN MADDIE
FOR BEST FILM GOES TO...



I saw this film on the big screen at the weekend.
Yes, it lives up to the hype.
Yes, the French do make bloody good films.
Yes, it is the movie event of the year.
Yes, Jean Dujardin is gorgeous throughout.
Yes, the music score is simply divine.
Yes, Uggie should win the Oscar for Best Actor this year.
Yes, we should start the rumour that John Goodman mouths "Mitt Romney is an evil fascist" during various key scenes in the movie.
Yes, you should all go see it.

THE MIDNIGHT JUKEBOX
MAKE TIM HAPPY SPECIAL


I received the following email earlier today:


No I hadn't. Yes, there is. And here it is. Loads of it. Enjoy.



My favourite is the last but one track,
"Little Pot Stove." I have no idea why.


Nicolas Paul "Nic" Jones was born on 9 January 1947 in Orpington, Kent. He first learned to play guitar as a young teenager. His interest in folk music was aroused by some old school friends who had formed a folk band called The Halliard. When the members of the group decided to turn professional, one of them left to pursue a different career and Nic was invited to take his place. Whilst playing with The Halliard, Jones learned to play the fiddle, and also how to research and arrange traditional material. The group toured the UK between 1964 and 1968, eventually splitting up when two of the members decided to pursue careers outside the folk music business.

Jones decided to pursue a career as a solo folk artist. He started playing professional gigs in 1969, and in 1970 released his first album. Between 1971 and 1980 Jones recorded four more solo albums. Apart from Jones' trademark vocals, fingerstyle guitar and fiddle, the records also introduced guest instrumentalists playing piano, harmonium, bodhran, melodeon and recorders.

During his career, Jones was much in demand as a session musician and he guested on albums by leading UK artists such as June Tabor, Shirley Collins, Barbara Dickson, Richard Thompson and many others. He was also a member of short-lived folk group "Bandoggs", comprising Jones, Tony Rose, Peter Coe and Chris Coe, and which released one album in 1978.

In February 1982 Jones was involved in a serious car accident while driving home after a gig at Glossop Folk Club. Jones' car ran into a lorry pulling out of "Whittlesea brickworks" on the road between Peterborough and March in Cambridgeshire. He suffered very serious injuries, including many broken bones and brain damage, and required intensive care treatment and hospitalisation for a total of eight months. Jones's injuries left him with permanent physical co-ordination problems and unable to play the guitar as well as before – he could also no longer play the fiddle at all. The accident effectively ended his career as a touring and recording professional musician.

On 5 August 2010, after an absence of 28 years, Jones made a return to the stage. He appeared at an event dedicated to his music at Sidmouth Folk Week. Jones sang three songs with one of his former bands Bandoggs and commented that he would "consider performing again – but wanted to sing his own songs."
(WIKIPEDIA)

Monday, 9 January 2012

MADPRIEST'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

In olden times bishops were sent out.

Nowadays they are seated.

PRAYER REQUEST

Yo! international prayer warriors. Our good friend Tracie the Red's bloke, Joe,  has a job interview on Wednesday morning. He's been mostly unemployed for the last four years.

The post is that of operations supervisor and, as you can see from the photo, he looks ideally suited for the job. I certainly wouldn't argue with him.

Add him to your prayer list. If Joe is successful it will make such a huge different to our two friends lives and their life together. It will also make a certain redhead very happy indeed and that can only be a huge win for all of us.

CREATIVE PEOPLE: HUMAN AND A RESOURCE

A recurring theme in stories about (Duke) Ellington, it seems, was his talent for motivation and inspiration. But it was coupled with what the authors call "a laissez-faire attitude towards the behaviour of his musicians". He saw their foibles as the price to be paid for having access to their talents. For Ucbasaran that raises questions for entrepreneurs. "If you have a creative process, you have to have talented employees. But talent is not always easy to manage. To what extent do you accommodate wayward behaviour? You have to give them freedom and space, but direct them in subtle ways so that the end result comes together harmoniously."

The above is taken from an article entitled "Business and all that jazz" posted at THE GUARDIAN, which Paul(A) kindly sent in to me. It's very interesting and contains much that should be of interest to church leaders. Christian ministry attracts a high percentage of creative people to its ranks who need to be strong willed if they are to survive and do the job well. I cannot think of any major movement of renewal within the Church that has not been spearheaded by a creative person. Yet, it is also usual for the lovers of the status quo within the church, who tend to be the dominant personality type in the higher reaches of church hierarchies, to view creative people with a lot of suspicion and relate to them in an aggressive manner. They regard the creative as a danger to society, and the truth is, they most likely are. But, I suggest that this is a risk well worth taking. In fact, it is a necessary risk if the church is to thrive rather than stagnate.

Creative people are, in fact, quite easy to get on side. You see, they are like children constantly craving praise and respect from their parents. Because they rarely receive this from people "in authority over them" any manager who sincerely offers the creative person praise and respect will gain their loyalty and love. With such a relationship in place the manager will be in a good position to negotiate and seek compromise although they will have to accept that such may be given begrudgingly (creative people do have a reputation of anti-authoritarianism to maintain). Church managers who also show interest in the projects of the creative people in their charge and offer encouragement may be in for a bumpy ride but it will be a ride that may well end up at a destination that actually brings glory to the Church rather than the P.R. disaster the unimaginative fear the eccentric will always land on their laps.

Christian ministry, especially evangelism, has other similarities to jazz. The best evangelists have also always been great improvisors. We only have to read the writings of St. Paul to see that this is true. His "all things to all men" rap would be regarded as far too great a risk to most church leaders nowadays who desire everybody working for them to be created in their own image and most definitely not in the image of the people such workers are taking the gospel to.

The good news of Jesus Christ is exciting, unpredictable in its outworking and extremely malleable in the hands of any artist who is truly inspired by it. If Christian ministry was music it would be freeform and liberating not constraining, constantly repetitive and unchanging. It would be inspired not mechanical, analogue not digital, soulful not soulless. It would be all that jazz and more.

ARCHBISHOP BLABBERMOUTH

From THE MAIL:

A new biography of the Queen reveals for the first time her despair over the divorce of Prince Charles and Princess Diana, and the Monarch’s fears that her eldest son was about to ‘throw everything away’. In "Elizabeth The Queen," by Sally Bedell Smith, the former Archbishop of Canterbury, Lord Carey, recalls the moment that the Queen finally confronted the problems in her son’s marriage. He reveals she was terrified that history was about to repeat itself – that Prince Charles would give up his place in the line of succession for Camilla, just as King Edward VIII gave up the throne in 1936 to marry his mistress, Wallis Simpson.

Lord Carey says: "There was a moment when we were talking very candidly about divorce. I remember her sighing and saying, 'History is repeating itself.' I saw despair. What she was talking about was the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. She was concerned that if they divorced, Charles would marry Camilla. She thought Charles was in danger of throwing everything out of the window by rejecting Diana and forging another relationship."

But Lord Carey advised the Queen that Prince Charles’s relationship with his wife was beyond repair. He says: "The personalities were so different. The Queen understood that. She could offer support and put them into her prayers."


COMMENT: Erm? Isn't there something about priests and confidentiality. Heck, surely it's required of any professional, especially those in caring occupations.

Sunday, 8 January 2012

WHY DID JESUS GET HIMSELF BAPTISED?

Jesus asked to be baptised so that he could make a public act of repentance for his sins.

What?! Are you saying Jesus wasn't without sin?!

Yes. The Word became flesh and it is absolutely impossible to be flesh without sinning. It's just the way the world is. Even if he managed to avoid all deliberate sins he would have been guilty of innumerable accidental (in the true meaning of the word) sins and a near infinite number of sins of omission.

You want Biblical proof?

Well, there was the incident in the Temple when he was twelve years old. Don't make excuses for the lad! What he put his parents through that week was "unforgivable."

You want conclusive proof?

When Jesus said "He who is without sin, cast the first stone," he didn't throw a rock at the woman, did he?!

THE SUNDAY OFFERING?

The administrator of this site is the Reverend Jonathan Hagger (a.k.a. MadPriest). He is a Church of England priest but he receives no salary from any church or any other employer. At present his ministry consists entirely of his work at OCICBW...

However, he likes to eat occasionally and his blogs cost quite a bit of money to run. So, in true Anglican style a collection plate is being made available for your donations (via PayPal).

You will never be asked to pledge or tithe but a regular monthly contribution from you would give him security and peace of mind.
You do not need to have a PayPal account to subscribe or donate via the buttons below.













Another way to help Jonathan is to buy Amazon products via his Amazon shop. Details of how to do this can be found below.

WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S
HOLY COMMUNION WITH AN ACT OF
THANKSGIVING FOR HOLY BAPTISM


All are welcome to join me in taking communion. There are no exceptions.

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

If you want to physically partake in this service you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol).  You will also need a small dish of water for the act of thanksgiving for baptism. How you view the nature of these parts of the service is completely up to you.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.
Download via the MP3 icon below the player.
Download podcast via iTUNES.


MP3 File