Saturday, 28 January 2012

NOBODY EXPECTS THE DORKINS INQUISITION

From CHRISTIAN TODAY:

Richard Dawkins has dismissed plans to build a £1m atheist monument in London. The plans have been put forward by atheist Alain de Botton, who said: “You can build a temple to anything that’s positive and good. Because of Richard Dawkins, atheism has become known as a destructive force, but there are lots of people who don’t believe but aren’t aggressive towards religions.” he said.

Dawkins dismissed the project as a waste of money.

“Atheists don’t need temples. There are better things to spend this kind of money on. You could improve secular education and build non-religious schools which teach rational, sceptical, critical thinking,” he said.


COMMENT: It really is a shame for Comrade Dorkins that the iron curtain has gone and Russia has embraced capitalism and crime with more gusto than the American Mafia. He would have fitted in so well in a Stalinist state. They would have probably put him in charge of education. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that he would have preferred to have been head of the KGB.

NEW PRAYER BOOK HAILED AS "QUITE GOOD"

This is my new project which I am hoping will make my fortune. It's a monthly, downloadable resource providing prayers, intercessions, acclamations, biddings and blessings for use in the eucharistic services of the church.

Each issue will contain material for every Sunday and every principal feast during the month.

All the material is strongly linked to the gospel reading of the day based on the Common Lectionary. It is a truly international and ecumenical resource but it also provides extra material for national peculiarities such as Mothering Sunday in England.

I have tried to reflect, in a modern way, the words and meter of our traditional prayer books. I have also made sure that the new words will fit seamlessly into all orders of service so that congregations will not be confused or worried about changes and innovation.

For a sample copy of the material for the
Annunciation of Our Lord to the Blessed Virgin Mary

CLICK HERE

Please feel free to print it and use it. It's already formatted for A4 paper in nice large print so even oldies with poor eyesight, like me, can read it easily in church.

The cost of each monthly issue is only £2.49 (just less than $4.00 U.S.). It is available by monthly subscription but you can cancel your subscription at any time - there is no minimum subscription period. Payment is via PayPal but you do not need a PayPal account of your own to subscribe. Subscribers will be sent each new issue approximately one month before the month covered.

So, for the first issue of NEW WORDS FOR HOLY COMMUNION by Jonathan Hagger (that's me) which covers the month of March 2012 just click on the subscription button below and follow the instructions. Your copy for the month will then be sent direct to you by email.





I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

I am self promoting this project to begin with and so I need as much publicity for it as possible. Please help me by advertising this new venture on your blogs and recommending it all over the social network sites you belong to. Also, download the sample, print it out and shove it under the nose of anybody you know who is responsible for eucharistic worship in their churches, asking them to consider a subscription.

I would love to be able to finance my online ministry myself and I am hoping and praying that this new project will help me achieve this goal.

MUST TRY HARDER

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Anita Mathias' post, "Why I am no longer a Catholic" at DREAMING BENEATH THE SPIRES is well worth reading as is Father Christian's brilliant exposition of the birth narratives, posted at GAFCON, in which he proves conclusively that God made a mistake. You know, if God had only created Father Christian first, rather than that wet hen-pecked excuse for a man, Adam, I'm sure we wouldn't be living in the cesspit of liberal relativism in which we now find ourselves.

JOKE OF THE DAY

For a brilliant "there was a psychiatrist and a proctologist" joke check out SAINTLY RAMBLINGS.

THE QUIET ASSASSIN

Because the archbishop of Canterbury lives in London and in my country London is given priority in all things, I think people often forget that the Church of England has two archbishops. The one in York traditionally rubber stamps the particular campaigns of the one in Lambeth. If they can't you end up with situations such as the relatively recent resignation of an archbishop of York who didn't want to undermine his "senior colleague" by being a really decent Christian pastor, loved by many, who happened to be gay.

Therefore, John Sentamu's anti-racist/pro-sexist outburst in the Telegraph this week can be regarded as a definite policy statement as far as the upper hierarchy of the Church of England is concerned. It is also another nail in the coffin of the intellectual reputation of the church and will be seen by many as typical of the double-think of an institution that regularly calls for freedom for some oppressed peoples whilst publicly putting the boot into oppressed groups who happen to be hated by members of the currently sexy cause célèbre.

From THE BBC:

Dr John Sentamu, has told the Daily Telegraph that marriage must be between a man and a woman. He also said the Church should do more to avoid its leadership being mainly white and middle class.

He said "I don't think it is the role of the state to define what marriage is. It is set in tradition and history and you can't just (change it) overnight, no matter how powerful you are. We've seen dictators do it in different contexts and I don't want to redefine very clear social structures that have been in existence for a long time and then overnight the state believes it could go in a particular way."

But Dr Sentamu said the Church would not stand idly by if the government sought to allow same-sex marriages to be on a par with traditional couplings.

He said: "If you genuinely would like the registration of civil partnerships to happen in a more general way, most people will say they can see the drift. But if you begin to call those marriage, you're trying to change the English language. That does not mean you diminish, condemn, criticise, patronise any same-sex relationships because that is not what the debate is about."

The archbishop said: "The Church has always stood out - Jesus actually was the odd man out. I'd rather stick with Jesus than be popular because it looks odd."

Dr Sentamu also said both black parishioners and white working class churchgoers were poorly represented in the Anglican church.

"Heaven is not going to be full of just black people, just working-class people, just middle-class people, it's going to be, in the words of Desmond Tutu, a rainbow people of God in all its diversity," he added.


How somebody can come out with that last statement at the same time as overtly displaying bigotry towards certain "rainbow people of God" is beyond my understanding.

Friday, 27 January 2012

GEORGE CLOONEY SAYS "LET'S FACE IT,
MADPRIEST WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG"


Erm? Wasn't that pretty much what I said - about a couple of years ago?

Being a Democrat president is like trying to run a shop with all the shop assistants telling everyone who comes in that the products you sell are all crap.

Thanks to my mate, John over on Facebook, for finding this graphic.

Thanks to me for the snark and gloating.

LOUD FRIDAY


Now this is good. The group is called The Bandoliers, and their debut album, from which these tracks are taken, is entitled "Prove Yourself." It's all brand new but very much connected in spirit to the classic rock of the early seventies. The musicians are a talented bunch and the singer can, well, sing. He has a voice that reminds me of Paul Rogers. It doesn't have that strangulated, screechy quality that became popular with hard rock singers in the late seventies and early eighties. I'm not a massive fan of heavy rock but this I like a lot.



BAND'S WEBSITE (Free download available)

PURCHASE VIA MADPRIEST'S AMAZON STORE

NEW WORDS FOR HOLY COMMUNION
OFFICIAL LAUNCH

HERE IT IS!

My new project.


A monthly, downloadable resource providing prayers, intercessions, acclamations, biddings and blessings for use in the eucharistic services of the church.

Each issue will contain material for every Sunday and every principal feast during the month.

All the material is strongly linked to the gospel reading of the day based on the Common Lectionary. It is a truly international and ecumenical resource but it also provides extra material for national peculiarities such as Mothering Sunday in England.

I have tried to reflect, in a modern way, the words and meter of our traditional prayer books. I have also made sure that the new words will fit seamlessly into all orders of service so that congregations will not be confused or worried about changes and innovation.

For a sample copy of the material for the
Annunciation of Our Lord to the Blessed Virgin Mary

CLICK HERE

Please feel free to print it and use it. It's already formatted for A4 paper in nice large print so even oldies with poor eyesight, like me, can read it easily in church.

The cost of each monthly issue is only £2.49 (just less than $4.00 U.S.). It is available by monthly subscription but you can cancel your subscription at any time - there is no minimum subscription period. Payment is via PayPal but you do not need a PayPal account of your own to subscribe. Subscribers will be sent each new issue approximately one month before the month covered.

So, for the first issue of NEW WORDS FOR HOLY COMMUNION by Jonathan Hagger (that's me) which covers the month of March 2012 just click on the subscription button below and follow the instructions. Your copy for the month will then be sent direct to you by email.





I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

I am self promoting this project to begin with and so I need as much publicity for it as possible. Please help me by advertising this new venture on your blogs and recommending it all over the social network sites you belong to. Also, download the sample, print it out and shove it under the nose of anybody you know who is responsible for eucharistic worship in their churches, asking them to consider a subscription.

I would love to be able to finance my online ministry myself and I am hoping and praying that this new project will help me achieve this goal.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

PAUL(A)'S BEAUTY TIP FOR TODAY

Fotoshop by Adobé from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

UGANDAN GAY HERO REMEMBERED

From NEWS24:

Ugandan gay rights activists braved hostility and stigma Thursday as they gathered to commemorate the first anniversary of the murder of their fellow campaigner David Kato.

"We are here to celebrate and thank God for our beloved friend and human rights activist David Kato," former Anglican bishop and gay rights campaigner Christopher Senyonjo told a crowd of around 100 activists and family members.

Gay rights activists speaking at the event called Kato, 46 at the time of his death, "the godfather" of the Ugandan gay movement and said that his passing had left a large void in the life of the country's gay community.

"He always looked out for all of us even at times when we thought it was too difficult," Frank Mugisha, director of SMUG, said at the function in central Kampala.

Kato's family members at the event spoke of the support that they had received from campaigners both in Uganda and the international community following his death

"It is not easy when a loved one dies but thanks to all the friends inside and outside Uganda who worked with David ... when I get down they lift me up and help me," said Nalongo Kisule, Kato's mother.


COMMENT: So, please, no talk of going it alone. As you can see from this article it is incredibly important that we view our fight for justice as a world war, not a local skirmish. The haters do just that and there would be nothing they would like better than the good guys leaving them to it in Africa and Asia. And if we let them dictate the agenda there will be hangings. We know that. They have shown the world that is exactly what they want to happen.

THERE'S A BETTER HOME A-WAITING IN THE SKY


JOHNNY OTIS

Singer, composer, arranger,
producer, vibraphonist
and percussionist


Godfather of Rhythm and Blues

December 28, 1921
- January 17, 2012



SYL JOHNSON

Singer, guitarist,
harmonica player


July 1, 1936 -
January 17, 2012



WALTER GAINES

Singer

Died 17th. January 2012


LARRY BUTLER

Keyboardist, singer,
songwriter and producer


March 26, 1942 -
January 20, 2012



WINSTON RILEY

Singer and producer

1946 - January 19, 2012


TERRY DOLAN

Singer and guitarist

1943 - January 15, 2012


AL URBAN

Singer and guitarist

March 1, 1935 -
January 18, 2012



JOHN LEVY

Double-bassist

April 11, 1912 -
January 20, 2012



HENRY DAVIS

Bassist, flautist,
keyboardist and singer


Died January 18, 2012


ERROL SCORCHER

Singer and Deejay

1956 - January 19, 2012


LEROY TAYLOR

Bassist

December 19, 1944 -
January 17, 2012






Willie And The Hand Jive - Johnny Otis
Different Strokes - Syl Johnson
The Bells - Originals (Walter Gaines)
Everyday I Have To Cry - The Gentrys (Larry Butler)
You Don't Care - Techniques (Winston Riley)
Ain't Livin' Long Like This - Terry And The Pirates (Terry Dolan)
Lookin' For Money - Al Urban
September In The Rain - George Shearing Quintet (John Levy)
Back In Love Again - L.T.D. (Henry Davis)
Roach In A De Corner - Errol Scorcher
K-Jee - Nite-Liters (Leroy Taylor)
Ain't Nothin' Shakin' - Johnny Otis
Double Barrel (written by Winston Riley) - Dave And Ansil Collins
Is It Because I'm Black - Syl Johnson




DON'T BLAME MADPRIEST, BLAME THAT VERY NAUGHTY VICAR FROM SUFFOLK'S BROTHER

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his certificate to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for. The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, he warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more potent than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"

Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked “What was the 1-2-3 for?”

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

BLESSED ASSURANCE PASTOR
NICKED FOR SOLICITING

From TAMPA BAY ONLINE:

Polk County Sheriff's Office vice detectives arrested four men, including a pastor and a retired Canadian police officer, during an undercover operation today at Peace River Park in the Homeland area. Detectives said after they made contact with the men, the suspects exposed themselves and/or asked them to perform sex acts on them.

Among those arrested was Matthew Preston Clark, 33, of Bartow, who told detectives he is senior pastor at the Blessed Assurance Temple, 1245 S. McAdoo Ave, Bartow. He was charged with soliciting a lewd act.


Always first with the news, OCICBW... has managed to track down a video of young Matt Clark in the very act of making lewd suggestions to his congregation in the middle of a Sunday morning service. The man is incorrigible.

video

TO THE MANOR BORN

From THE WASHINGTON POST:





Sounds like the right man for the job.

SAYING POO TO A MOOSE

From THE LOCAL (Norway):

With train drivers exasperated at running over so many of the helpless beasts, the National Rail Administration (Jernbaneverket) is looking at ways to slash the number of animal collisions on the country’s rail network. Noting that elk dislike human scents, a lecturer at Hedmark University College has put forward a pungent solution.

“Open the toilet tanks on the stretches most frequented by elk and let human urine and excrement scare the elk away,” he told newspaper Østlendingen.

From 2000 to 2009, a 20-kilometre stretch between Koppang and Reda saw the railroad deaths of 288 elk, or moose as the animals are known in North America.


COLD ENOUGH TO FREEZE YOUR NIPS OFF

From THE LOCAL (Norway):

With the annual topless tobogganing world championships just two months away, the competition’s Norwegian organisers believe it’s time for the sport to get its own national arena.

“Ski jumpers have Holmenkollen and track and field athletes have Bislett. Our hill facilities should be the national arena for naked tobogganists,” championship architect Sten Hansen told national broadcaster NRK.

Hansen, the self-styled “topless general”, expects the number of participants and spectators to set new records when the tobogganists disrobe for this year’s competition on March 17th. For the first time, the competition will include categories for the fastest women and men, as well as a special mention for the best winter body.


COMMENT: Best winter body?! At last! A competition I stand some chance of winning.

OCICBW... readers wanting to enter this year's contest should, in the first instance, send their application forms through to me along with a photograph clearly showing their credentials. I will then pass them on to Sten. Honest.

GOD KILLS 77 NORWEGIANS

At an open meeting organised last week by the local branch of the Christian Democrats in Sarpsborg, south-eastern Norway, the writer, Per Haakonsen, claimed that last July's massacre of seventy seven children at Utøya was God's punishment for Norway's poor diplomatic relationship with Israel. He further suggested that an oil rig disaster in 1980 was due to God getting cross because Norway was refusing to sell oil to Israel.

You see, my American friends, your country doesn't have a monopoly on hate-filled nutters spouting nonsense.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Check out the post, "Andrew’s journey through church discipline at Mars Hill," at BENE DICTION BLOGS ON. It's all about what happens when you encourage one man's sexual pathology (in this case the man is Mark Driscoll) to dominate (forgive the pun) a church community. Personally, I can see very little difference between attending Driscoll's pseudo-church and visitting a dominatrix, other than the fact that the dominatrix would be more fun and less expensive.

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

THE RETURN OF WHERE DOES HE FIND THEM?


I am so, so sorry.

WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S


HOLY COMMUNION

WEDNESDAY
25TH. JANUARY 2012

THE CONVERSION
OF PAUL



All are welcome to join me in taking communion.
There are no exceptions.

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

If you want to physically partake of communion you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol).  How you view the nature of this part of the service is completely up to you.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.
Download via the MP3 icon below the player.
Download podcast via iTUNES


MP3 File

ON THE FEAST DAY OF
THE CONVERSION OF PAUL

CAREY INSISTS POOR SHOULD PAY
FOR THE MISTAKES OF THE RICH

The former Archbishop of Canterbury, George Carey, attacked the bishops in the House of Lords yesterday for spearheading the derailment of the governments attempt to reduce welfare spending. Basically, he insisted that such reform was necessary if the UK is to reduce its national deficit.

Well, it certainly is one way of tackling the problem but it hardly seems fair and it certainly isn't Christian.

Times are tough in Blighty at the moment and your average citizen is coping with their reduced circumstances by buying less luxuries. Instead they are using their incomes to provide the necessities of life for their families and for themselves. This is eminently sensible and what people always do when money is short.

Surely then, this is what we should be doing as a nation. In other words, we should not be affecting anybody's ability to provide themselves with the necessities of life but should be paying off the deficit out of the nation's disposable income. To put it even more simply, we should be taxing the disposable income of the rich and not loading further financial burdens onto the already poor.

However, having said that, I do believe that something needs to be done about our welfare system as it encourages poor people to make long term mistakes, detrimental to society at large, for short term benefit. For example, if you are poor and have no foreseeable opportunities to get out of poverty, then, with our welfare system as it is at the moment, it is a good idea to have as many children as possible and avoid paid employment at all costs. By doing this you will be helped to find accommodation which will be paid for by the welfare services and given money for each child you have. For young people this is especially attractive as we basically ignore the problems poor, young, single people face financially and, even more so, their housing problems. Nobody is going to get rich exploiting the welfare system in this way but you can remove yourself from absolute destitution.

People like Carey think that we should force people into being more procreatively responsible by removing the carrot and thumping them with the stick. Maybe this would work but, again, it is hardly fair. We just end up making a miserable situation even more miserable for millions of people.

Any reduction in welfare provision must be accompanied by real opportunity to earn a decent wage. It is my belief that the best way out of recession is to take money from those with disposable income and use it to create real jobs that will benefit society in the long term. For example, the infrastructures of the UK are in a pitiful state. We have one of the worst transport systems in the world and we have virtually no manufacturing industry whatsoever. If I was in charge I would immediately instigate a massive programme of railway construction. I would prepare the country for the effects of climate change by investing in the water industry. I would follow Germany's lead in actively promoting renewable energy. Not only would such schemes provide employment in the short term it would also mean that when the current crisis is over the UK would have a firm basis from which to compete economically with the rest of Europe, maybe even the rest of the world.

A successful, healthy nation is one body. At the moment in the UK we are cutting off limbs left, right and centre in an attempt to protect the affluent head. But what use is a head without the rest of the body? The only way to cure the ills of the nation is to treat the illness holistically. Piecemeal reform will just make matters worse and burdening the poor with more misery will not only make matters worse it will also make matters extremely dangerous indeed.

Monday, 23 January 2012

TRACIE THE RED'S LOL DOG OF THE DAY

MORE HYPOCRISY FROM THE HOUSE OF BISHOPS

There's a huge ding-dong going on in the House of Lords at the moment with the bishops of the Church of England leading a campaign to get the government to back down on their proposal to put a cap of about £26000 a year on welfare pay outs to individual families. The tory responsible for squeezing the poor is Ian Duncan Smith who has well and truly put the crocodile crying bishops in their place by reminding them that they only pay their clergy about £22000 per year and expect them to work six days, sixty plus hours a week to earn that pittance. Only bishops, deans and archdeacons earn more than £26000 per year (plus expenses). Of course, the real culprits are the penny pinching, well off laity of the Church of England who will still put less in the collection plate on a Sunday morning than they pay for their Sunday Telegraph or Observer.

Sunday, 22 January 2012

WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S


HOLY
COMMUNION

22ND. JANUARY 2012

THE THIRD SUNDAY
OF EPIPHANY



All are welcome to join me in taking communion.
There are no exceptions.

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

If you want to physically partake of communion you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol).  How you view the nature of this part of the service is completely up to you.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.
Download via the MP3 icon below the player.
Download podcast via iTUNES


MP3 File