A MADPRIEST LOLDOG

HEADLINE OF THE DAY (2)

I'm confused. Surely if you are inaccurate the chances of their being a conception are extremely slim. My tip - make sure you're lined up right between the posts before you shoot for goal.

SAYING GOODBYE PROPERLY

Prepare to blub like a girlie.

THIS STORY is a real "Marley and Me" style tearjerker.

Thanks to Skittles for sending this in
(after she had stopped sobbing, of course).

THE PERKS OF BLOGGINGNO. 1: THE TROLL SLAP DOWN

From the comments under the post
HETEROSEXUAL MEN ARE KILLING THEIR PARTNERS:

The pen, as they say, is mightier than the sword
and, be warned trolls, my pen is sharp than most.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

From 13WREX:

No. This is so wrong. I am all for careful experimentation behind closed doors but a church is not an appropriate place for population boosting - not even an Episcopal church.

A REFUSAL TO CONDUCT SAME SEX WEDDINGS IN CHURCH MUST LEAD TO DISESTABLISHMENT

Back in the days when the Church of England did not ordain men who had remarried whilst a former spouse was still alive it still accepted that couples legally married outside of the church were really married. They had to as they are an established church and as such could hardly claim that the secular legal system was not effective in such matters. Mrs MP and myself were married in a registry office and when I was being encouraged to seek ordination there were concerns about my divorce from my first wife but nothing was ever said about the fact that my second wedding did not take place in a church. We were not told that we had to go through it all again in church after General Synod voted to allow divorced people to marry in church.

So the question is this, will the Church of England recognise that a same sex couple who marry in an English registry office are really married? If yes, then why not marry such couples in church? If no, will the Church of England be claiming that they are no longer, in practice, an established church?

HETEROSEXUAL MEN AREKILLING THEIR PARTNERS

One of the ploys of homophobes, from the trolls that hang around here to organisations such as Anglican Mainstream, is to try and persuade people that same sex relationships are physically unhealthy. But it strikes me that the most dangerous sexual practice by far is straightforward, heterosexual, missionary position sex when the man is not wearing a condom. This is for the very simple reason that such activity often leads to the woman becoming pregnant and worldwide pregnancy is the number one killer of young women. When you add to this the carnage of miscarried babies the death toll becomes astronomically high.

So if the moralists of hatred are really that concerned about everyone's health they should proclaim the utter immorality and downright perverseness of heterosexual sex and promote the alternatives. Maybe these alternatives do have their own risks but they are a damn sight safer than trying for a baby.

A HUGE BIG THANK YOU

I received a commission cheque from Amazon USA today covering the last three months. At $178.00 it is by far the biggest I have received so far. I, quite rightly, am not told who buys what so, if you contributed by buying stuff via my widget recently, please accept my grateful thanks expressed in this post. Your support is a really big help to me financially.

It costs you nothing extra to buy from Amazon through my widget (see "Amazon Purchases" in left hand side bar). No money is deducted from the supplier's cut.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Firstly, the Church of England is now inconsistent in its defence of the sacrament of holy matrimony as the exclusive union that can be celebrated between two people in church. Some time ago, we decided to leave it to the discretion of individual parish priests as to whether they would agree to marry those who had previously been divorced. I think that was right and just - it was cruel and unredemptive to have a blanket ban on the re-marriage before God of those who had a failed marriage behind them.

So that initiative recognised that there was room for the blessing of a bodily union outside a single marriage between a man and a woman, even while one of the original partners of that marriage is still alive. With that original model of marriage now compromised and re-marriage left to the discretion of the vicar, it becomes impossible to defend the notion that the only union that can be celebrated in church is one, lifelong commitment between a man and a woman. All that is left is disapproval of homosexuals and homosexual acts.

Which brings me to my second point. I don't believe that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice and I believe that it is truly perverse, not to mention deeply damaging and offensive, to attempt to "cure" people of their natural sexuality as if it is a mental illness. But that is a separate issue. The real point is that there is little or nothing in the gospels about the condemnation of sexuality (if anything, rather the reverse) and a great deal about love. The Christian Church - the Body of Christ - should be about the celebration of God's love wherever it is found.
(George Pitcher, THE MAIL)

Good old George! The fact that this has been published by The Mail (the UK's equivalent of Fox News) is extremely heartening and it will, hopefully, influence the attitude of some who would not normally be sympathetic to change.

FROM PATRICK S. CHENG

Dear Jonathan,

I'm excited to let you know that my new book, "From Sin to Amazing Grace: Discovering the Queer Christ," will be released next month by Seabury Books, the trade imprint of Church Publishing Incorporated.

This book seeks to reclaim the doctrines of sin and grace for LGBT people and others who have been wounded by such doctrines. In the first part of the book, I challenge the traditional crime-based model of sin and grace in favor of a christological, or Christ-based, model. In the second part of the book, I propose seven new deadly sins and seven new amazing graces based upon seven models of the Queer Christ.

The book addresses cutting-edge theological, ethical, and pastoral issues, and it is suitable for classroom as well as congregational use.

Here are some endorsements and advance praise for the book:

"Cheng takes us through a systematic re-working of the classical doctrines of sin and grace, and lands us in a place where, surprisingly, these ideas can once again sing with life for Christian LGBTQ persons. It's a serious and splendid book." -Serene Jones, President and Roosevelt Professor of Systematic Theology, Union Theological Seminary in the City of New York

"This gifted theologian and teacher offers an accessible and compelling case for why LGBT persons (and others) need to take back the words 'sin' and 'grace.' Be forewarned: reading Cheng is likely to stretch your theological and moral imagination, but all for the good." -Marvin M. Ellison, Willard S. Bass Professor of Christian Ethics, Bangor Theological Seminary

"Patrick Cheng has given the Christian church and the theological academy a precious gift. Cheng's work ranks among the best scholarship of a new generation of theologians. I have experienced more amazing grace - and grown more mature theologically - because of this book." -Tat-siong Benny Liew, Vice President for Academic Affairs and Dean, and Professor of New Testament, Pacific School of Religion

"Cheng provides our hurting community with a healing theology; an accessible christology which celebrates an open and affirming Christianity desperately needed by most of our churches. This book is good news for all who are queer, as well as for those who are not!" -Miguel A. De La Torre, Professor of Social Ethics and Latino/a Studies, Iliff School of Theology; President, Society for Christian Ethics

"'Christ is the treasure hidden in the scriptures,' wrote Irenaeus, the second century theologian. Christ is the treasure, and Cheng's work is a treasure map of LGBT advances in theology that helps us find, once again, that God loves all of us and wants us to be free." -Susan Brooks Thistlethwaite, Professor of Theology and Past President, Chicago Theological Seminary; Blogger, WashingtonPost.com

"Patrick Cheng has produced a much needed pastoral book for LGBTIQ and, in fact, all Christians. This is a remarkable theological and pastoral exploration that can help individual Christians and their congregations to re-align their spiritual development." -Robert E. Shore-Goss, Senior Pastor and Theologian, MCC in the Valley; Author, Jesus Acted Up and Queering Christ

"The act of reading Patrick Cheng's Christ-centered theology of sin and grace offers both healing pastoral care and political empowerment. Christians who have been wounded, alienated, or simply befuddled by the ongoing use of Christianity to further heterosexist hate and disenfranchisement have been waiting for this book." -Traci C. West, Professor of Ethics and African American Studies, Drew University Theological School

This book is available for pre-order at Amazon. I would be ever so grateful if you would purchase through my AMAZON PURCHASES widget in the left hand side-bar. It won't cost you anything extra, it won't reduce Patrick's royalties, but it will give me some commission.

From KittKatt:

I'm really looking forward to this book! In case anyone wants more of a preview, here is a link to a series at the Jesus in Love Blog that became the basis of the book:

Rethinking Sin and Grace for LGBT People Today

CAPTION COMPETITION NO. 2MORE OLD FRUITS THAN FORWARD IN FAITH

CAPTION COMPETITION NO. 1WHO'S THAT CLOWN?

FEBRUARY IN A NORTHERN LAND

It's minus five degrees centigrade outside. Tonight we are told it will get down to minus ten. We complain but in our homes we are warm and snug.

How soon we forget. Twenty years ago I lived in a house which had no heating other than one open fire. We used to switch the gas hobs on the cooker on when we got home in winter because it was so cold. And twenty years before that, when I was a child, not only did ice form on the outside of the windows it formed on the inside as well. My mother would come into my bedroom to wake me up in the morning and tell me that Jack Frost had been. I used to find that extremely exciting. I know for sure that I wouldn't nowadays.

Today I pray for the homeless; those living on the streets of our towns and cities; those who can only find shelter in unheated premises. I pray for the many who cannot afford to heat their homes as much as is necessary when it gets this cold, especially the elderly. I pray for those who will die because of this.

I pray for the rich who allow and exacerbate the suffering of the poor while experiencing no discomfort themselves. I pray that, at times, hell is as cold as it is hot (metaphorically speaking, of course).

BATTLE WON IN CALIFORNIA,BUT WAR CONTINUES

From ENS:

Gay marriage supporters rejoiced Feb. 7 after an appellate court ruled California’s controversial Proposition 8, which defined marriage as between a man and a woman, is unconstitutional.

“Today’s 9th Circuit Court decision is not just a victory for gay and lesbian couples in California – it is a victory for all Americans who believe that the ‘liberty and justice for all’ in the pledge we teach our children really means ALL,” according to an email statement from the Rev. Canon Susan Russell, a former president of Integrity USA, a group that works for full inclusion of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people in the Episcopal Church.

“It is also a victory over those who erroneously believe that the freedom of religion guaranteed by the First Amendment gives them freedom to write their theology on marriage — or anything else — into our Constitution,” added Russell.

“Since 1888 the Supreme Court has ruled 14 times that marriage is a basic civil right, but again and again it has been denied to loving, faithful gay or lesbian couples,” said the Rev. Dr. Caroline Hall, president of Integrity USA. “We can rejoice that in California, our right to equal treatment under the law has been upheld and our marriages are once again recognized. This will be an encouragement to all those fighting this battle in their own states.”

She and other Integrity leaders called upon the six Episcopal dioceses in California “to extend a generous pastoral response to lesbian and gay couples so that our legal rights can be celebrated in our churches and our marriages blessed by the church in the same manner afforded to our straight friends and family. This is an enormously important symbol of the Episcopal Church’s true willingness to welcome all people even those of us who are LGBT and to extend all the sacraments to all the baptized. We hope that California citizens will soon be able to marry the person they love.”

“While this is a huge victory in the battle for marriage equality, this fight is far from over,” continued the Integrity statement. “Same-sex married couples still face federal discrimination against their marriages because of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Integrity vows to continue to fight for marriage equality both within and outside of the church. We will not stop until we can claim the promise that all really means ALL.”

“I was overjoyed when I heard that the right to marriage equality has been upheld by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals,” wrote the Rt. Rev. J. Jon Bruno, bishop of the Diocese of Los Angeles, in a statement to ENS. “The Constitution of the United States allows for equal rights under the law, and the 14th Amendment guarantees that every human being, regardless of race, ethnicity or sexual orientation, is equally protected by the constitution of our land.”

Saying that it is a “foregone conclusion” that opponents of gay marriage will appeal the decision to the U.S. Supreme Court, Bruno said he prayed for “swift action on the part of the Supreme Court that will strike down opposition to marriage equality.”

“We all are truly created in the image of God; therefore, we should all be afforded the respect and dignity of that creation,” Bruno said. “I will pray that we soon will have regained the privilege and right of marriage equality for all people.”

The Catholic Church issued a statement “denouncing” the ruling.

“Today’s court ruling is a grave injustice, ignoring the reality that marriage is the union of one man and one woman,” according to Cardinal-designate Timothy Dolan, president of the U.S. conference of Catholic Bishops.

COMMENT: Well done everybody! And a special thank you and well done to our longstanding friend, IT, from THE FRIENDS OF JAKE and GAY MARRIED CALIFORNIAN blogs. She has tirelessly kept the neighbourhood up to date on the fight to repeal Prop 8 since the vile and unconstitutional legislation first removed the human rights of the many gay married couples in California. We rejoiced when she married BP and we rejoice again with her now. We will rejoice even more when the Supreme Court upholds yesterday's landmark decision and all the blustering, bankrolled bigots and their small gods are shown that love is greater than hate and told to live with it.

TODAY AT GENERAL SYNOD

AS REQUESTED

See comments under THIS POST.

ANGLICAN MAINSTREAM ANDWITCH HUNTERS IN GENERAL

I received the following comment on a recent post about Anglican Mainstream's obsession with all things scatological and perverse. It is so very good that I am posting it here for all to see.

I watched ‘The Crucible’ over the course of the weekend. My same-sex partner and I having a wee break from our ‘homosexual lifestyle’... You know when you’re getting old when you can only stand three fistings a week and a bottle of poppers lasts you five days instead of one. And then there was the nasty episode of a splinter from our A-frame lodging in my left buttock as we were hosting a ‘scat n’ cards’ morning (basically a whist drive for coprophiles which we hold alternate weeks from the Ladies’ Bright Hour (many of our friends attend both)) – this got infected, tho’ thankfully we have (for obvious reasons and our ease and comfort) more rubber rings than scatter cushions in our living room, so at least I was able to sit in comfort and watch Arthur Miller’s masterpiece....*

A thought struck me, as I was watching the play and that is how the need to accuse and set oneself apart, as righteous, seems a real driving force for some of our religious brethren. In Salam it was witchcraft – though of course the real reason was the use of religion as a means of settling scores and serving one’s own self interest. Nowadays sexuality has become a similar means of dividing society into the ‘just’ and the ‘unjust’ – and is also a way of settling scores: those wicked liberals have pushed conservative Christianity to the margins and now it is time to fight back; the use of salaciousness, innuendo, half truths, self-righteousness and playing on the odd ancient prejudice appears a good means of doing this. It’s also a good way to make oneself feel better about oneself. Well, each to his or her own, I suppose, but the fact Anglicanmainstream and its creepy little friends are neither proportionate nor can claim integrity, rather limits the scope of their smear campaigns and hate-mongering. Many outside the tiny Christian world these trolls inhabit see their disproportionate interest in poufers and dykes and what they do behind closed doors as at best an unfortunate obsession with the private lives of others; and at worst something akin to Far Right scape-goating that can only harm, rather than benefit society.

It is no wonder Lisa Nolland (whom it is alleged holds a PhD in scatology) has taken to accusing ‘the damned’ of all kinds of wickedness (or fun, depending on your proclivities) to shore up the self-righteousness of the ‘blessed’ (aka ‘the bigoted’). She is not unlike the accuser, Abigail Williams, in ‘The Crucible’ - it is in her best interest to smear the scat and hope it sticks; as I have already noted, salaciousness, innuendo, half-truth and self-righteousness are the main weapons of such nasty souls. Anyone – and I mean ANYONE – who thinks they are more righteous, blameless, devout, holy, blessed or less sinful than their fellows has missed the point of the Gospel; but something so inconsequential is of little interest to our friends at AM or the Nollard. It seems Ms Nolland and her supporters think they have something to teach the world. They use inference to take the extreme and apply it to the whole – augmenting their unfathomable interest in the sex lives of others with fear, loathing and arrogance.

Well, Abigail Williams came to a sticky end, as have many others who have sought to further their own careers by the exploitation and opprobrium of others. Give her enough rope and she’ll hang herself – hence best to use a ‘safety word’ lest her fetish fixated chums think she is enjoying herself, when in reality she is starving herself of the oxygen she needs...

Peter Denshaw

* for the record I’ve never been fisted, or tied to an A-frame etc. or attended the Ladies’ Bright Hour...

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"... what seems clear from the research is that churches grow or shrivel at an individual level, in ways that have lots to do with the personality of their priests and the attitudes of the congregation and almost nothing to do with theology." (Andrew Brown, "General Synod: the perfect forum for Anglicans who want to avoid decisions," posted at THE GUARDIAN)

DON'T BLAME MADPRIEST, BLAME GRAHAM

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.

He hears a priest come in: "Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".

The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".

OCICBW... LAUNCHES MIMI AWARD

In honour of The Queen's Diamond Jubilee, OCICBW... has today announced a new award which will, no doubt, become as internationally coveted as BRICK OF THE DAY.

The new accolade will be known as THE MIMI and will only be awarded to sweet, little, grey-haired, old ladies with spunk.

The first recipent of this major gong is Joan Clark of Braughing, Hertfordshire, England.

From THE HERTFORDSHIRE MERCURY:

After 84 years of working as a church organist, 95-year-old, Joan Clark has retired from her job. To mark her retirement, Joan received a personal letter from the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams.

More than 300 friends attended a celebratory service held for her at St Mary the Virgin Braughing, where she was presented with a long-service medal from The Royal School of Church Music, a certificate, an engraved rose bowl, flowers, a cake and an autograph book signed by her many friends.

Mrs Clark started playing the organ at the Congregational Chapel when she was 11-years-old.

Well done, Joan. Putting up with Anglicans singing hymns badly for that number of years shows either extreme fortitude or profound deafness. As we assume the former in your case, you are hereby, deservingly, added to THE MIMI hall of fame.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

For one moment there I thought the
Archbishop of York had completely flipped.

From THE TELEGRAPH:

MADPRIEST'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

On this day when we are celebrating our Queen's sixty years of monarchy let us turn for our moment from our jubilation and spare a thought for those countries that are not part of the British Commonwealth, especially the United States. Just think, if the republicans hadn't won the American War of Independence the people of the U.S.A. would today be just as civilised as the Canadians or even New Zealanders.

FOR MY FRIENDS WHO ARE REPUBLICAN SCUM

WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S

HOLY 
COMMUNION

ACCESSION DAY 2012

THE YEAR OF THE

QUEEN'S DIAMOND JUBILEE

All are welcome to join me in taking communion.
There are no exceptions.

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

If you want to physically partake of communion you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol).  How you view the nature of this part of the service is completely up to you.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.

Download via the MP3 icon below the player.

Download podcast via iTUNES.

MP3 File

INTRODUCTION

"Trumpet Tune" by Henry Purcell 

- Paul Hart and Elizabeth Le Grove

GREETING

BIDDING

CONFESSION AND ABSOLUTION

"Gloria In Excelcis" by Charles Villiers Stanford 

- Westminster Abbey Choir

COLLECT

READING

"Behold, O God Our Defender" by Herbert Howells 

- Choir Of New College Oxford

READING

"Rejoice In The Lord Alway" 

- The Schola Cantorum Of St. Peter's In The Loop

Alleluia, alleluia.

Great and amazing are your deeds, Lord God the Almighty! 

Just and true are your ways, King of the nations!

Alleluia.

Hear the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ according to Luke.

Glory to you, O Lord.

GOSPEL

This is the Gospel of the Lord.

Praise to you, O Christ.

INTERCESSION

THE PEACE

"All People That On Earth Do Dwell" - Norwich Cathedral Choir

All people that on earth do dwell,
Sing to the Lord with cheerful voice.
Him serve with fear, His praise forth tell;
Come ye before Him and rejoice.

The Lord, ye know, is God indeed;
Without our aid He did us make;
We are His folk, He doth us feed,
And for His sheep He doth us take.

O enter then His gates with praise;
Approach with joy His courts unto;
Praise, laud, and bless His Name always,
For it is seemly so to do.

For why? the Lord our God is good;
His mercy is for ever sure;
His truth at all times firmly stood,
And shall from age to age endure.

To Father, Son and Holy Ghost,
The God Whom Heaven and earth adore,
From men and from the angel host
Be praise and glory evermore.

PRAYER OVER THE GIFTS

The Lord is here.

God's Spirit is with us.

Lift up your hearts.

We lift them to the Lord.

Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.

It is right to give thanks and praise.

You are worthy of our thanks and praise…
… evermore praising you and singing:

"Sanctus and Benedictus" from "Mass in G Minor" 
by Vaughan Williams - Elora Festival Singers

Lord God, you are the most holy one…
… all honour and glory be yours, almighty Father, for ever and ever. Amen.

Let us pray with confidence as our Saviour has taught us

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

We break this bread
to share in the body of Christ.
Though we are many, we are one body,
because we all share in one bread.

"Agnes Dei" from "Mass in G Minor" by Vaughan Willaims
- Elora Festival Singers

This is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.
Blessed are those who are called to his supper.
Lord, I am not worthy to receive you,
but only say the word, and I shall be healed.

The body of Christ. Amen.

The blood of Christ. Amen.

"Nimrod" from "Variations On An Original Theme" by Edward Elgar 

- Halle Orchestra

POST COMMUNION PRAYER

God Save The Queen

BLESSING

My sisters and brothers, go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
In the name of Christ. Amen.

"Killer Queen" - Royal Philharmonic Orchestra

TRACIE THE RED'S SUNDAY LOL DOG

WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S

HOLY COMMUNION

THIRD SUNDAY BEFORE LENT 2012

All are welcome to join me in taking communion.
There are no exceptions.

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

If you want to physically partake of communion you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol).  How you view the nature of this part of the service is completely up to you.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.

Download via the MP3 icon below the player.

Download podcast via iTUNES.

MP3 File