WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY

With a little help from my good friend and experienced eBook author, VIV, and loads of help from my Word literate wife, I have managed to produce a Kindle version of my monthly liturgical resource, "New Words For Holy Communion."

For those of you who are technologically advanced this format is ideal for church services as it reduces the paperwork you have to carry around in church to zero.

For the US edition CLICK HERE.

For the UK edition CLICK HERE.

It should also be available on other Amazon sites. Just go to the Kindle section and type "New Words For Holy Communion" in the search box.

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW...

... are more friendly girls.

The Girls Friendly Society was founded in England in 1875 and Princess Mary became a strong supporter. When she married in 1922, the Society raised £1600 for a wedding present. The princess returned £500 insisting the Society bought the caravan (pictured above) to use for publicity purposes. It apparently undertook 80 tours during the following 14 years. (Info from The Caravan Club)

As far as I can make out the Society is still in existence. In fact there is a branch in Durham, which I expect is made up of local girls as the students are quite toffee nosed and definitely not at all friendly unless your financial prospects are exceedingly good. There's a Scottish Girls Friendly Society, although do remember the Scottish definition of "friendly" is markedly different to that of the rest of the United Kingdom.

There are branches all over the world. I understand it was popular with Episcopalians in the United States. In fact, I believe that our good friend, JCF, was thrown out of the American branch for reasons that have never been disclosed.

The Girls Friendly Society is, as its name suggests, for girls only. However, it is rumoured that the bastion of traditional high churchiness, the DIOCESE OF WENCHOSTER, has a Friendly Boys Society and I suggest you contact the diocesan office for details of where they meet. I am told that the location for meet ups changes regularly and is texted to members three hours before each meeting starts.

LOUD FRIDAY

I don't know about you lot, but I've been in a right funk this week. I'm in serious need of some loud noise therapy. Fortunately for me it's the end of the working week and so I can get me some first class noize courtesy of the Loud Friday jukebox. As my state of mind is really dodgy at the moment I'm going to be taking a triple dose.

MEANWHILE, THESCRIBES AND PHARISEESARE AT IT AGAIN

From THE NATIONAL CATHOLIC REPORTER:

"I'm her partner."

Those are the only words Fr. Marcel Guarnizo of St. John Neumann Catholic Church in Gaithersburg, Md., needed to hear. Those are the only words he used to inform his conscience, to base his decision to deny Communion to a grieving woman at her mother's funeral.
By now, the story has been widely reported. Barbara Johnson, a Washington, D.C.-area Catholic, had come to St. John Neumann's on Saturday for the funeral Mass. After learning that morning that Johnson lived with her female partner of 20 years, Guarnizo put his hands over the communion platter and did not let Johnson partake.

But, in a compelling phone interview Wednesday, Johnson said the denial was just the climax of a series of unfortunate and uncompassionate events surrounding her mother's funeral.

When her mother died last week, Johnson said she worked hard to honor her death the same way she did her life. "It was my mother's funeral, not my funeral. We did the exact funeral that my mother wished, at the exact place," she said.

Johnson said she and her family met with St. John Neumann's music director, who assured them they would be able to deliver two eulogies. However, in a brief meeting with Guarnizo before the Mass, Johnson said the priest said there could only be one eulogy -- that "this is how it is done all the time."

Johnson said her brother responded: "Well, we don't bury our mother all the time."

In that meeting, Johnson said Guarnizo never offered his condolences for her mother's passing.

Johnson said during the Mass, Guarnizo -- without having spoken again to her in private -- denied her Communion, saying, "I can't give you Communion because you live with a woman, and in the eyes of the church, that is a sin."

In shock and dismay, Johnson's friends and family did not take Communion.

"My whole family wished to take Communion not only to be in communion with Jesus Christ, but to be in communion with my mother, with each other as we grieved," she said.

Guarnizo said he was ill and left during the eulogy, Johnson said. He did not accompany the family to the burial site. According to Johnson, he made no effort to find a replacement, so the responsibility fell to the funeral home director, who called on Fr. Peter Sweeney of Silver Spring, Md., to join the family at the cemetery.

Sweeney's demeanor was a stark contrast to that of Guarnizo, Johnson said.

"He was an angel, a balm on our hearts," she said. "He was everything I knew the Catholic church to be."

COMMENT: Oh, for goodness sake, I realise it will take a long time for the high church queens to get over their jealousy of women in general but you would have thought by now they would have found some common ground with lesbians.

I wonder if Guarnizo would have refused communion to a gay man into S&M.

BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE: Marcel Guarnizo is an outspoken champion of reactionary politics and regularly flies to Europe to speak at right wing gatherings. For a full understanding of his anti-socialist ideology check out THIS SITE.

Thanks to Whiteycat for this story.

From FOX8 CLEVELAND:

Al Fischer was planning on marrying his partner of nearly 20 years during a quiet ceremony in New York. Charlie Robin says the couple is not interested in making a political statement. They were marrying to show each other their commitment. What they did not expect to happen was Fischer losing his job. He was a music teacher for St. Ann Catholic School. Robin says his partner lost his job after sharing news about the marriage with other workers.

Robin admits the firing is legal but is still frustrated.

‘It`s as if we can have our own relationship as long as we don`t talk about,’ said Robin.

The following is Al's letter to the parents of his students after he found out that he was to be dismissed:

Hi there, friends.

I know you have all heard about my joyful news, and my sad news. The joyful news is that after 20 years together, my partner Charlie and I are getting officially married in New York City… and seeing a Broadway show! The sad news is that I can’t be your music teacher anymore. I know many of you are chomping at the bit to do something, to make some sort of difference in this, and are looking for a way to do it. I have some concrete requests and suggestions. The first is that you read this email a time or two. I am being careful with every single word, and really want to get my point across.

Many of your kids have been working with “Top 20? lingo and paradigms. In the Top 20 world they talk about “tornadoes”. This is a self-feeding growing circle of rage that can happen when people get in the cycle of expressing anger to each other and dwelling in frustration, instead of expressing themselves to the people who can make a difference. I get the love and support behind your anger and this email circle that’s been spreading, and I invite you instead to take positive action by writing two people who may have some power to make a change in Catholic education policy in the future. Letters may be addressed to Mr. George Henry (Superintendent of Catholic Schools) and Msgr. John Unger (Deputy Superintendent for Catechesis and Evangelization). Their addresses are the same: 4445 Lindell Blvd., St. Louis, MO 63108.

Secondly, I ask that you don’t “go public” or “take it national”. I am in action crafting my response to this injustice, and I am going to be doing it through my work and position as Artistic Director of the Gateway Men’s Chorus, St. Louis’ gay men’s chorus. (Our next concert is March 31! Tickets and info at gmcstl.org!) I have a team of pros taking a look at this issue and crafting how we can best shine a light on this and work to make a difference. I ask that you let me make the choice of how and when I respond to this, rather than lashing out to the media and taking that choice from me.

I think the word has been well spread that this is not the fault of St. Ann School or it’s leadership, and I want to emphasize that I get that too. Both Mary Jo and Fr. Bill are still there for me in a big way. I ask that you help them keep their focus on the things that are important: the business of running a school, supporting your kids, and (sadly) finding a music teacher. Please let the reputation of your school remain strong. Please watch what you say to outsiders and in public, which is exactly what I wish I had done a touch more of.

Another thing that I think could make a huge difference is for you to talk to your children about what happened. Social justice is an area of vital importance to the Catholic Church, and they do great work in this area. A family conversation about whether or not justice was served here could be a great thing. I do not want the lesson from this for the kids to be, “Keep your mouth shut, hide who you are or what you think if it will get you in trouble”. In a just world, uncomfortable truths need to be stated. Unpopular stands need to be taken. Just look at Martin Luther King. Just look at Jesus.

I think the thing I am most sad about is that I didn’t get to say goodbye to your kids. Please tell your children that I love them and will miss them. Please tell them to sing out in Mass. Please tell them that this Friday no one can talk during GO CRUSADERS. I wrote that song, and I wrote it for them. I want them to be proud of who they are and where they are: a loving community and a great school.

And a few more random requests:

Give your new music teacher a chance. They just want to do a good job. Ask your kids to make them a welcome card on his or her first day. First days are scary. Just because they do it differently from me, it doesn’t mean it’s worse.

If you hear of any work for a musician or music teacher, let me know.

I do not intend to be a stranger.

Peace and much love,

Al

And finally, as I think it puts all this bullshit into a proper perspective, here is a comment that our good friend, Dennis, left beneath a post at OCICBW... recently. He is referring to the idea that gay people should be happy to accept civil partnership but not marriage.

Now that we are so close to getting marriage equality I am having real problems with the proposal that we get rid of the institution.

It smacks of the segregationists in the American south in the 1960s who closed schools rather than let black children attend. Marriage matters desperately to some of us. Those (especially those who are straight) who call for the institution to now be scrapped seem to be on the side of those who would do anything to keep us out.

Just stop it, in other words. Marriage is an important part of society, and we have fought for too long and too hard to get the right to have recognition of our relationships. You don't get to abolish the institution just because we are almost there.

In December my partner and I passed our ten year mark together. We have weathered financial crises, health crises, the hell of graduate programs, a mortgage and the challenge of selling a house at the height of the housing collapse. We have survived through more than most straight marriages that I know of. At this point I have had it with the f*cking libertarian ploy to keep us out of marriage equality.

You are going to have to put up with us getting marriage equality.

GUMBY OF THE DAY

From THE EVENING TELEGRAPH:

The Home Office has defended proposals to allow gay marriages after Welllingborough’s MP called them “completely nuts”.

Peter Bone urged the Church of England to block plans for same-sex weddings during a Parliamentary discussion on the matter.

Speaking exclusively to the Evening Telegraph last night, Mr Bone said: “It’s just a simple thing that a marriage is between a man and a woman, therefore that’s it. It’s not anti-civil partnership or anything like that, I just take a view that a marriage is between a man and a woman."

COMMENT:

Well, there you have it. "It’s just a simple thing that a marriage is between a man and a woman, therefore that’s it." If only Mr Bone had told us that when all this same sex marriage thing started it would have saved us all a lot of aggro and having to think for ourselves.

Oh, and, of course, we believe you when you say you're "not anti-civil partnership or anything like that." I'm sure you haven't got a homophobic bone in your body, Bone.

GOD BOTHERING

Today's prayer list is now up
at SAINT LAIKA'S.

If you have a prayer request
you want including on Monday's
prayer list, please let me know
in the comments to this post,
go to St. Laika's and leave it
on the Our Prayers forum or
drop me an email at
madpriestx@sky.com.

CALLING ALL BLOGGERS

Blogger is messing us about again. Recent changes to the comment facility has resulted in the disappearance of the ability to subscribe to a comment thread if you have your comment settings set to pop up window. However, it is still there if you set your comments to "embedded beneath post."

I strongly suggest that we all change our settings to embedded. Otherwise there will be no conversations on our blogs anymore and a drastic reduction in visits.

Thanks to Grandmère Mimi for sussing this one out for us.

FOR GOD'S SAKE ALLOW US TO BE ANGRY!

I doubt that I will sleep much tonight.

This morning, Northumbrians woke up to the news that Police Constable David Rathband had been found dead in his Northumbrian home. As yet there has been no official cause of death given but it is going to be suicide.

"On July 4 2010, PC Rathband was sitting in his patrol car in Newcastle when the gunman Raoul Moat shot him, simply because he was a policeman. The attack left him with 200 shotgun pellets lodged in his face, robbed him of his eyesight, caused him constant pain, contributed to the breakdown of his marriage and, 18 months on, it seems likely that it has cost him his life, because he could not face going on living with his level of disability." (THE TELEGRAPH).

David really tried to keep living and living well. But I am pretty certain that in the end it was the anger that got him. Or rather it was not being allowed to express his anger that brought on the depression that may well have ended his life. And that wasn't anger at the psycopath who killed him. It was anger at the people who let him down. His bosses, his colleagues, family and friends, the welfare system that is supposed to help us when we need help but which, instead, puts up every bureaucratic barrier it can to make it almost impossible for a person really suffering to get the help they need.

But, I am also certain that David would have most probably coped with his anger. What will have killed him was being told that he should get over his anger because it was killing him.

There was even a man on the BBC news this evening who said that he had told David to hide his anger because it would turn people against him.

Oh my God, I know how he must have felt.

And not for one minute do I believe that when people tell you to stop being angry they have your interests at heart. No. When people advise you to stop being angry it's because human beings cannot stand other people being angry and making a fuss. What is more, I believe that human beings are predisposed (through genetics or nurture, I don't know which) to actually give in to powerful people. So when someone like David or like me, continue to scream at the powerful people who have screwed up our lives, everyone around us tells us to shut up. And the powerful club together to protect themselves and they will make out that your anger is a mental abnormality and turn you from victim to the perpetrator of your own misfortune. And you can never get rid of that rap because your friends, family and colleagues, and every new person you meet, will grasp at that lie rather than having to feel the pain of your anger and accept that is justified and have to make a fuss themselves.

But the angry are left with the knowledge that in letting go of their anger they are letting evil and incompetent people off the hook. And that just makes the angry more angry and in the end you might as well kill yourself because life is shit and unfair and everyone around you is just putting up with it to avoid making a scene.

David, I didn't know you personally. But tonight I'm shedding real tears for you. You had every right to be angry and everybody else should be ashamed of themselves.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

Thanks to Mark for this one.

DON'T BLAME MADPRIEST, BLAME JOHN

ANY PRAYER REQUESTS?

If you have a prayer request you want including on tomorrows's prayer list at St. Laika's (the last of the week) please let me know in the comments to this post, go to St. Laika's and leave it on the Our Prayers forum or drop me an email at madpriestx@sky.com.

WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S

A SERVICE OF HOLY COMMUNION
THE FEAST OF SAINT DAVID

All are welcome to join me in taking communion.
There are no exceptions.

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

If you want to physically partake of communion you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol).  How you view the nature of this part of the service is completely up to you.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.

Download via the MP3 icon below the player.

Download podcast via iTUNES.

MP3 File

CLICK HERE for order of service and credits.

WHO, EXACTLY, ARE THE BEASTS?

From WORLDCRUNCH:

Guizhen Hall, a large black bear breeding farm in Fujian Province in southeast China, is seeking an IPO listing on the A-share Chinese stock exchange. The news has set off widespread criticism, as the bears are bred for their bile, which is used in medicines. The farm situated in a rural hilly area, currently houses approximately 400 bears and boasts an annual turnover of roughly 100 million RMB ($15.8 million).

The staff point out that only bears that are older than 36 months and over 100 kilograms are subject to bile extraction. The drainage is conducted twice daily, in the morning and in the evening. The bears produce the bile secretion only when they are eating.

Currently, it is reported that there are about 12,000 farmed bears in various regions. According to a report by the Asian Animal Foundation, an animal welfare group, the bears suffer lasting effects from the bile harvesting treatment. The Foundation has rescued 277 bears, 181 of which were subject to live bile draining. Of those, 165 showed harmful symptoms such as cholecystitis, hernia, visceral cyst and gallstones. The group says many of the bears also develop liver cancer.

INSTITUTIONAL RACISM RAISESUGLY HEAD IN GERMANY

I think it may be time to go back an re-educate them again. It obviously didn't completely take the first time.

From THE LOCAL (Germany):

Bavarian police chiefs are ordering thousands of racist and tasteless calendars printed by the police union be taken down from the walls of cop shops across the state – a full two months after the German media pointed out its faults.

One cartoon shows a black man drawn with a flat head, exaggerated musculature and big red lips literally spitting as he is held in a police station by a slim blonde officer and shouts at another white officer.

The dark-skinned arrestee is asking: “What’s the danger of suppressing evidence here?” The supposed joke is a play on the German word for evidence suppression which is Verdunkelungsgefahr - or the danger of darkening something.

The calendar has presumably been hanging on police station walls for at least eight weeks – and on Thursday cops across Bavaria would have turned the page to March to find that offensive cartoon.

They have already had a month of looking at grotesque caricatures of two middle-Eastern with massive hooked noses, and another black man with huge red lips, representing the three wise men. They are being told by another normal looking pair of white Bavarian police officers that they must pick up the droppings of their camels. The black man is already on his knees doing so.

THE LAND OF MISSED OPPORTUNITY

From LE MONDE:

On page 177 of the President’s annual report to Congress on the state of the economy, there is mention of the “Great Gatsby Curve.” F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel, which so masterfully paints a picture of bourgeois vanity in 1920s America, has given its name to a graph on which data measuring the degree of income inequality is charted on the horizontal axis, and the link between a father’s income and that of his descendants – a barometer of social mobility – on the vertical.

What does this curve tell us? No matter what the frame of reference of the person examining it, its bottom line is unambiguous: the United States – not supposedly fusty Europe -- rates lowest in terms of this relationship in the distribution of riches and social mobility. Yes, Paris Hilton’s America ranks way below the Scandinavian countries, but also below France, New Zealand, Japan, the United Kingdom, and others.

If an American is tenacious enough, shouldn’t he or she be able some day to make it to the top of the heap? "No pain, no gain," as they say. But the Great Gatsby Curve says No. So much so that in the United States, as elsewhere, “having talent” may just be another way of saying "having inherited money."

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

What am I waiting for?
For the winter to be over?
For Spring to arrive?
For my life to start?

Check out the rest of this well written and thought provoking poem by Viv over at ZEN AND THE ART OF TIGHTROPE WALKING.

DON'T BLAME MADPRIEST, BLAME MAD DAD

THERE'S A BETTER HOME A-WAITING IN THE SKY

BILLY STRANGE

Singer, guitarist,
songwriter

Inductee of
Rockabilly
Hall of Fame

September 29, 1930
- February 22, 2012

RED HOLLOWAY

Jazz musician
Played saxophone,
banjo and harmonica

May 31, 1927
- February 25, 2012

PERY RIBEIRO

Bossa nova
singer

The voice of Bashful
in Snow White And
The Seven Dwarfs

October 27, 1937
- February 24, 2012

LOUISIANA RED

Blues singer
Played guitar
and harmonica

March 23, 1932
- February 25, 2012

MICHAEL PARISH

Bassist and singer
with the band,
Nasty Habits

Died February 25, 2012, aged 56

DEE CERNILE

Guitarist with the
band, Sven Gali

Died
February 25, 2012,
aged 46



Let Me In There Baby - Billy Strange
Monkey Sho' Can Talk - Red Holloway
Garota De Ipanema - Pery Ribeiro
Sweet Blood Call - Louisiana Red
Ten 8 - Nasty Habits
Under The Influence - Sven Gali

OUR PRAYERS

Today's prayer list is
now posted over at
SAINT LAIKA'S.

You can add your own prayer requests via the prayer forum or you can email me and I will add them to tomorrow's prayer list.

DOING YOUR BIT FORMARRIAGE EQUALITY IN ENGLAND

Although I believe that priests should be able to speak out on any matter they feel compelled to without being victimised by their bishops, I do not believe that priests should marry same sex couples in their churches unless they have the express permission of their bishops. Therefore, for those priests who are embarrassed by the fact that every time they conduct a wedding service involving a heterosexual couple they are letting down their gay brothers and sisters in Christ, I would like to suggest the following alteration to the marriage service:

The Common Worship wording, as it stands at present is:

Marriage is a gift of God in creation through which husband and wife may know the grace of God. It is given that as man and woman grow together in love and trust, they shall be united with one another in heart, body and mind, as Christ is united with his bride, the Church.

The gift of marriage brings husband and wife together in the delight and tenderness of sexual union and joyful commitment to the end of their lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children are [born and] nurtured and in which each member of the family, in good times and in bad, may find strength, companionship and comfort, and grow to maturity in love.

Instead of that, try this:

Marriage is a gift of God in creation through which a married couple may know the grace of God. It is given that as two people grow together in love and trust, they shall be united with one another in heart, body and mind, as Christ is united with his bride, the Church.

The gift of marriage brings the married couple together in the delight and tenderness of sexual union and joyful commitment to the end of their lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children may be nurtured and in which each member of the family, in good times and in bad, may find strength, companionship and comfort, and grow to maturity in love.

I strongly suggest that you get the permission of the couple being married before altering the words. We are not in the business of ruining wedding days over a matter of principle. However, my guess is that many couples will be as willing to do their bit for human rights as you are.

WORKING FOR NOWT

Today is International Work For Nothing Day. All those workers who get paid an annual salary split up into monthly or weekly payments will not be getting any extra money for working on this extra leap year day. Throughout the world bosses will be rubbing their hands in glee as they sit back and watch the return to slavery they so fervently desire. Billions of extra dollars etc. will be making they way into the bank accounts of the slaveowners.

Of course, those workers who still get paid on a hourly basis will actually be earning a bit of extra cash this year.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Check out Gordon's post on "compassion fatigue" at TERTIUM SQUID.

SPINNING AN UNTRUTH

From THE MAIL:

The law has no right to legalise same-sex marriage, the Archbishop of Canterbury declared yesterday. Dr Rowan Williams said a new marriage law for gay couples would amount to forcing unwanted change on the rest of the nation.

His remarks yesterday came after Coalition ministers insisted they would go ahead with a same-sex marriage law whatever the churches say. Equality minister Lynne Featherstone said last week the churches did not own marriage law. She added a same-sex marriage law would be ‘about the underlying principles of family, society and personal freedoms’.

COMMENT: Okay, let's get this straight (forgive the pun) once and for all. The extension of marriage to include same sex couples IS NOT A CHANGE. It is an addition. Heterosexual couples, both now and in the future, will experience no difference whatsoever. They will not be forced to "change" anything. On the day after same sex couples are given the freedom to marry under English law, nothing in the lives of anyone, except gay couples and people who work in secular registry offices, will alter in the slightest.

For the Grand Tufti to insist that there will be change where there obviously will be none is a cynical abuse of his status as a national spokesperson. His incorrect use of the English language will whip up fear and hatred among those citizens of England who will, in reality,  not be affected at all by the "addition." Quite honestly we "have the right" to expect a lot more accuracy of language from our academics and a lot more honesty and love from our Christian leaders.

A good example of a change in the law that did force unwanted change on others would be the repeal of slavery. The slave owners and most white, southern states Americans, got really pissed off about that one. Following Williams logic, if the persecution of gay people is no different to racism, but gay people should not be allowed the same rights as everybody else, then it was wrong for Lincoln to champion the freeing of the slaves.

THE MIDNIGHT JUKEBOX

Four tracks from the new album. There will be another one in Sunday's podcasted service.




LYLE'S WEBSITE

PURCHASE FROM AMAZON USA

PURCHASE FROM AMAZON UK

GRAND TUFTI TELLS UNITED NATIONS THAT BLACK PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BECOME BISHOPS(IN A ROUND ABOUT SORT OF WAY)

At least, that seems to be the logic of it as far as I can see.

From REUTERS:

Rowan Williams stepped on Tuesday into a row which is flaring at the U.N. Human Rights Council over the persecution of gays and lesbians. He did not directly refer to the current controversy at the Council, according to the text of a speech prepared for delivery at the Geneva-based World Council of Churches. However, he said laws against sexual minorities were equivalent to racism, and warned that legal regulation of consensual sexual conduct "can be both unworkable and open to appalling abuse - intimidation and blackmail."

"The existence of laws discriminating against sexual minorities as such can have no justification in societies that are serious about law itself," Williams declared in a public lecture at the headquarters of the ecumenical WCC.

"Such laws reflect a refusal to recognize that minorities belong, and they are indeed comparable to racial discrimination," the archbishop said.

Concern for protection of sexual minorities from violence and intimidation did not imply approval of homosexual behavior on moral grounds. "Religion and culture have their own arguments on these matters," he added.

AUNTY IS AFRAID (OF THEM BUT NOT US)

From CHRISTIAN TODAY:

BBC director-general, Mark Thompson, has admitted that Christianity is treated with less sensitivity on air than other religions. According to the Daily Mail, in his interview with Timothy Garton Ash for Oxford's Free Speech Debate, Thompson said that television programmes do not have to be as sensitive with satire, jokes, or comments about Christianity because the religion is "an established part of our cultural-built landscape" and "pretty broad shouldered."

Thompson went on to say other religions closely "identify with ethnic minorities" and therefore warrant special regard when being dealt with on broadcast television.

"The point is that for a Muslim, a depiction, particularly a comic or demeaning depiction, of the Prophet Mohammed might have the emotional force of a piece of grotesque child pornography," he said.

Thompson noted that insulting or disrespecting other religions could carry more emotional baggage and thus a backlash that is more volatile and violent. He told Ash, "Without question, 'I complain in the strongest possible terms,' is different from, 'I complain in the strongest possible terms and I am loading my AK47 as I write.'"

COMMENT: Thompson is not being respectful to non-Christian religions, he is being fearful of them. He also gives the green light to fundamentalists of all religions to resort to violence when they feel they are being disrespected.

The only way to show respect to non-Christian religions is to respect the Christian religion with as much sincerity and care. Otherwise you are just being patronising to other religions. "I respect you because I'm scared of you," is just another way of saying, "You are an uncivilised barbarian." That is hardly respectful in my opinion.

Proud as I am of belonging to a "broad shouldered" religion, I must admit it pisses me off that England's trendy media have used it as an excuse to bury us with a sustained campaign of attrition. I'm not saying that we should have reached for our handguns at the first sign of their disrespect. But perhaps Archbishop Ramsey should have gone round and blackened the director general's eye.

OUR PRAYERS

Today's prayer list is
now posted over at
SAINT LAIKA'S.

You can add your own prayer requests via the prayer forum or you can email me and I will add them to tomorrow's prayer list.

DON'T BLAME MADPRIEST, BLAME MAD DAD

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.

The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'

The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

BETTER THAN "THE SUN ON SUNDAY"

"NEW WORDS FOR HOLY COMMUNION"

A monthly resource of all new prayers, intercessions, psalms, canticles, acclamations, biddings and blessings for each Sunday and principal feast of the church year

CLICK HERE 

for a complimentary copy of the 

whole of the Good Friday service

Okay, it is unlikely that the Bishop of York will be endorsing it as enthusiastically as he has been promoting England's number one tits and scandal rag (see below), but this does not mean that the arrival of the April issue of my liturgical resource, "New Words For Holy Communion," is any less a momentous occasion as the relaunch of the "News Of The World," (Whoops! I meant the launch of "The Sun On Sunday").

AND
HERE
IT IS!

Dig the cover!

Dirty sheep,
churchyard,
Easter,
Good Shepherd;
get it?



Now, I realise that most of you would really love to flip the bird at a certain rich and foxy media mogul and I can think of no better way of achieving this than making my humble prayer resource more popular than his new alternative to going to church on Sunday, even though (and I realise this will be a major disappointment to some of OCICBW...'s readers) my periodical contains no photographs whatsoever of topless models of any gender. Woody Allen types may get some dubious pleasure from the photo of naked sheep on the front cover this month, but my aim is not to titillate but to help the people of God do interesting worship.

The cost of each monthly issue is only £2.49 (just less than $4.00 U.S.). It is available by monthly subscription but you can cancel your subscription at any time - there is no minimum subscription period. Payment is via PayPal. Subscribers will be sent each new issue approximately one month before the month covered.

So, for the second issue of "NEW WORDS FOR HOLY COMMUNION" by Jonathan Hagger (that's me) which covers the month of April 2012 (including provision for Maundy Thursday and Good Friday) just click on the subscription button below and follow the instructions. Your copy for the month will then be sent direct to you by email.

NEW THIS MONTH

You can now buy a single copy of "New Words For Holy Communion" by clicking on the "Buy" button below. You should not need a PayPal account of your own in order to make your purchase. But do bear in mind that future issues will not be sent to you automatically. You will have to remember to buy each edition although I will be promoting them heavily on this blog as I really need the money.

HERE'S THE BLURB:

All the material in "New Words For Holy Communion" is strongly linked to the gospel reading of the day based on the Common Lectionary. It is a truly international and ecumenical resource but it also provides extra material for national peculiarities such as Mothering Sunday in England.

Jonathan reflects, in a modern way, the words and meter of our traditional prayer books. He has also made sure that the new words will fit seamlessly into all orders of service so that congregations will not be confused or worried about changes and innovation.

Each new issue will be sent to subscribers in PDF form already formatted in an easy to read, large print font. The PDF can be printed out and shared electronically with colleagues within the subscribing congregation. It can be altered to fit in with local customs and styles.

Jonathan decided to embark on this project to fulfil his own requirements. To be honest he got a little bit bored with saying the same thing every service and he was also dissatisfied with the failure of many of the set wordings to refer accurately to the theme of the gospel for the day. However, he was aware that it was very time consuming and expensive to compile a new liturgy every week. He was also aware that most congregations are wary of innovation if not downright hostile. So he used to arrive at services laden down with a pile of books which contained alternative words for those parts of the service spoken only by the presiding minister.

"New Words For Holy Communion" provides alternatives for the set words spoken by the minister in just one, user friendly resource. In stead of a pile of books only a few sheets of A4 paper are required. This makes it an ideal resource for busy leaders of eucharistic worship who want to add difference and relevance to their services without scaring and upsetting the people in the pews. It is Jonathan's main aim to ensure that at the end of the eucharist those who have been present fully understand what the "big idea" of the gospel reading has been that day. He believes that in "New Words For Holy Communion" he has achieved this aim.

You may print out as many copies of all, or part of, each issue like and distribute them to anybody who needs them. However, Jonathan would be grateful if you would restrict such copies to members of only those places of worship in which you personally minister. But do hand out one sample (even a whole PDF) to anybody you think may be interested in purchasing "New Words For Holy Communion." Jonathan cannot afford to advertise outside of his own webpage and blog, so your promotion of his work among your friends and colleagues would be very much appreciated. He encourages you to alter the words to suit the particular needs of your congregations and, of course, to add words to make the prayers relevant to the spiritual needs of those with whom you share in worship. Jonathan's hope is that his small contributions to the liturgy of the Church will be a blessing upon all who use them.

MADPRIEST'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Prayer books rarely become out of date.

HE'S SELLING NEWSPAPERS NOW!

Bishop John Sentamu today writes in the inaugural edition of the Sun on Sunday, Murdoch's replacement for the News Of The World.

What a fantastic honour to be given the opportunity to write a column in the first ever Sunday Sun. Today is a new dawn. A fresh start. When I think that we can now get the latest news, politics and sports stories seven days a week from our country’s favourite paper, all I can say is “WOW!”

I know there will be those who will criticise me for writing in a newspaper which will be seen by many as filling the gap left by the News of the World. However I am always one for responding to change positively and embracing new beginnings – seeing the best in all people, especially in adversity.

We should rejoice in new life, turning our back on what has gone before. God is the God of new beginnings: the God of again and again. Let us use this landmark occasion as an opportunity for a fresh start in our own lives.

Remember God loves us and forgives us no matter how many times we mess up, and whether we deserve it or not. All we have to do is humble ourselves and have the courage to start again. We should live as if a great weight has been lifted from our shoulders, because we worship a God of forgiveness. Ours is a God of second opportunities. Wow! With that in mind, live in hope, free from fear. Embrace every day that God puts before you with confidence.

And if you can buy the Sun seven days a week, even better!

The full transcript of His Grace's "unique" (in the history of the Church) column can be read HERE. I foresee a lengthy vacation in the very near future for a certain archbishop. Either that or they'll give him the Canterbury job next and we'll end up renaming the Church of England, "The Fox Inspirational Channel."

WORSHIP AT ST. LAIKA'S

A SERVICE OF HOLY COMMUNION
THE FIRST SUNDAY OF LENT

All are welcome to join me in taking communion.
There are no exceptions.

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

If you want to physically partake of communion you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol).  How you view the nature of this part of the service is completely up to you.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.

Download via the MP3 icon below the player.

Download podcast via iTUNES.

MP3 File

CLICK HERE for order of service and credits.

A service like this costs me about £15.00 to put together. As my internet ministry is my only source of income I invite you, if you have enjoyed it or found it useful, to make a small donation to allow me to continue this work. I would suggest £1.00 ($1.50) as being appropriate, but more or less is okay with me. In fact, nothing at all is okay with me. I'd rather you listened than didn't listen because you are unable or unwilling to donate anything at this time.

Another way to help Jonathan is to buy Amazon products via his Amazon shop. Details of how to do this can be found on the right hand sidebar.