Oh, this is so very good.
I guarantee satisfaction if you press play.
Thursday, 23 August 2012
BLAME THE NAUGHTY NUN
He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes,..... yes I will!"
The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say Yes? or did she say No?? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her.
"When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes or did you say No?"
"Why you silly man, I said, Yes. Yes I will. And I meant it with all my heart."
The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.
Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!"
After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes,..... yes I will!"
The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say Yes? or did she say No?? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her.
"When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes or did you say No?"
"Why you silly man, I said, Yes. Yes I will. And I meant it with all my heart."
The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.
Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!"
EXCHANGING THE PEACE
This is why I strongly recommend that you just shake hands during the sharing of the Peace in a suburban Church of England service.
Any excuse...
Thanks to Ellie for this one.
AMAZING RECORD SLEEVES
OF ALL TIME (CONTINUED)
Oh, shit. I think there was a time in the distant past when I had a haircut very similar to that. Hopefully there is no extant photographic record.
POSTED BY STEVEN ON FACEBOOK
I work the graveyard shift of prayer, the nights that seem empty to some, but to those with a burdened heart, the nights that never end. I stay alert to the midnight call of the soul, the cry of one far away, whose spirit voice reaches out through deserted streets, to find someone, anyone, who can help remove the pain. I do not keep my vigil because I am good, but because, like you, I have been there, to the all night cafe, where you go when you just don't want to be alone. Can you stay awake with me, God asked, and yes, we said, yes, we can, this time, we can.
Wednesday, 22 August 2012
MADPRIEST'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
"If you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem."
Silence, diplomatic, "politically correct" or otherwise, is not an option and is, in fact, infinitely worse than ignorance.
From CHRISTIAN TODAY:
The World Council of Churches is to hold a consultation on the plight of religious minorities and the misuse of the blasphemy law in Pakistan from 17 to 19 September to coincide with the 21st Session of the United Nations Human Rights Council in Geneva.
“The public hearing aims to heighten discussions at international levels on the deteriorating situation of the human rights of minorities in Pakistan and misuse of blasphemy law, through which the death sentence was made mandatory for blaspheming. We hope to strengthen initiatives that have greater impact on public and governments by involving ecumenical advocacy for minorities in the country," said Dr Mathews George Chunakara, the director of the Commission of the Churches on International Affairs.
About bloody time. It really annoys me how so many Christians, liberals most definitely included, refuse to condemn the persecution of Christians in non-Christian countries. I am not a racist. I am just somebody who sees no intrinsic difference between the persecution of gay people by Christians and the persecution of people of the non-Islamic faiths by muslims. There are no Christians in the world today, not even of the most fundamentalist beliefs who treat people of other faiths so violently. There is no predominantly Christian country where muslims have less rights than everybody else. Both the muslims and the jews need to stop all discrimination towards people of other religions. The practice is both uncivilised and unenlightened. It's a remnant from the Middle Ages and if countries want to be regarded as civilised and democratic they should leave such evil practices in the past, get real and join the modern world.
Silence, diplomatic, "politically correct" or otherwise, is not an option and is, in fact, infinitely worse than ignorance.
From CHRISTIAN TODAY:
The World Council of Churches is to hold a consultation on the plight of religious minorities and the misuse of the blasphemy law in Pakistan from 17 to 19 September to coincide with the 21st Session of the United Nations Human Rights Council in Geneva.
“The public hearing aims to heighten discussions at international levels on the deteriorating situation of the human rights of minorities in Pakistan and misuse of blasphemy law, through which the death sentence was made mandatory for blaspheming. We hope to strengthen initiatives that have greater impact on public and governments by involving ecumenical advocacy for minorities in the country," said Dr Mathews George Chunakara, the director of the Commission of the Churches on International Affairs.
About bloody time. It really annoys me how so many Christians, liberals most definitely included, refuse to condemn the persecution of Christians in non-Christian countries. I am not a racist. I am just somebody who sees no intrinsic difference between the persecution of gay people by Christians and the persecution of people of the non-Islamic faiths by muslims. There are no Christians in the world today, not even of the most fundamentalist beliefs who treat people of other faiths so violently. There is no predominantly Christian country where muslims have less rights than everybody else. Both the muslims and the jews need to stop all discrimination towards people of other religions. The practice is both uncivilised and unenlightened. It's a remnant from the Middle Ages and if countries want to be regarded as civilised and democratic they should leave such evil practices in the past, get real and join the modern world.
IT'S A MIXED UP, MUDDLED UP, SHOOK UP WORLD
Thanks to Planettransgender for bringing this advert to the attention of the English speaking world.
Any excuse....
Any excuse....
THE ANCIENT OF LAYS
From SPIEGEL ONLINE:
Several religious leaders in Kassel, the western German city that is currently hosting the semi-decadal art exhibition Documenta, have protested against a drawing advertising a show in the city's caricature museum.
"I find it problematic when a caricature disparages the very heart of a faith," Barbara Heinrich, a Protestant official in the city, told German news agency DPA.
The cartoon in question is hanging outside the Kulturbahnhof, a cultural center which houses the caricature museum, known as Caricatura. It depicts Jesus in agony on the cross as a voice calls down from heaven, "Hey, you. I fucked your mother."
The artist behind the caricature, Mario Lars, expressed surprise at the burgeoning debate. "It was not my intention to hurt the feelings of the faithful," Lars said. "I was just making a joke."
The mini-imbroglio recalls a recent scandal involving the German satirical magazine Titanic. The publication recently printed an image of Pope Benedict XVI soiling himself front and back under the headline: "The Leak Has Been Found." The Vatican was not amused and filed a cease and desist order against the magazine.
As the rest of the world discovered when they invaded Poland, Germans do not do subtlety. Fart jokes are about the limit of their humour.
If you are going to take the mick out of the virgin birth then at least make the effort to give the joke some depth and, if possible, a bit of biting social commentary. Like this photoshop from the English humourist, MadPriest, for example:
Several religious leaders in Kassel, the western German city that is currently hosting the semi-decadal art exhibition Documenta, have protested against a drawing advertising a show in the city's caricature museum.
"I find it problematic when a caricature disparages the very heart of a faith," Barbara Heinrich, a Protestant official in the city, told German news agency DPA.
The cartoon in question is hanging outside the Kulturbahnhof, a cultural center which houses the caricature museum, known as Caricatura. It depicts Jesus in agony on the cross as a voice calls down from heaven, "Hey, you. I fucked your mother."
The artist behind the caricature, Mario Lars, expressed surprise at the burgeoning debate. "It was not my intention to hurt the feelings of the faithful," Lars said. "I was just making a joke."
The mini-imbroglio recalls a recent scandal involving the German satirical magazine Titanic. The publication recently printed an image of Pope Benedict XVI soiling himself front and back under the headline: "The Leak Has Been Found." The Vatican was not amused and filed a cease and desist order against the magazine.
As the rest of the world discovered when they invaded Poland, Germans do not do subtlety. Fart jokes are about the limit of their humour.
If you are going to take the mick out of the virgin birth then at least make the effort to give the joke some depth and, if possible, a bit of biting social commentary. Like this photoshop from the English humourist, MadPriest, for example:
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
THE ORDINARIATE AS CAR CRASH
When the idea of an Anglican Ordinariate was announced in September 2009 in the apostolic constitution Anglicanorum Coetibus, the Times of London ran the headline 'Vatican Parks Tanks on [Archbishop of Canterbury] Rowan [Williams]'s Lawn'. It seemed an apt image at the time. Three years later it is more as though the Pope had, uninvited, sent over a Fiat Cinquecento or two to pick up some stranded friends and their bags. ... the stated aim of the Ordinariates, to accommodate whole groups of Anglicans who might come together as existing communities or structures with Anglican patrimony in tow, and thus to promote unity, is a failure.
The gains (if you can call relieving the Anglican Church of some of its nastiest bigots and letting them into your own church, a gain) of the Anglican Ordinariate for the Roman Catholics pale into complete insignificance when compared to the number of the Catholic faithful who have turned their back on their church and religion due to the child sex abuse scandal and the intransigence of the Vatican hierarchy on matters such as women priests, divorce and family planning.
For full article, check out EUREKA STREET. It's well good.
The gains (if you can call relieving the Anglican Church of some of its nastiest bigots and letting them into your own church, a gain) of the Anglican Ordinariate for the Roman Catholics pale into complete insignificance when compared to the number of the Catholic faithful who have turned their back on their church and religion due to the child sex abuse scandal and the intransigence of the Vatican hierarchy on matters such as women priests, divorce and family planning.
For full article, check out EUREKA STREET. It's well good.
FIRST MINISTER AND CARDINAL
TO SHACK UP TOGETHER?
I hope it works out for them but I can't help thinking that, no matter how much they love each other now, their opposing views on pretty much everything is going to result in the marriage breaking up sooner rather than later. Also, I don't think the pope is going to like the idea of them living together (experimentally) first.
CLERICAL CHILD ABUSE - THE RESULTS ARE IN!
From IRISH CENTRAL:
According to a poll by Gallup International, Ireland now ranks among the top ten atheist nations worldwide, in a huge shift from the last poll in 2005. In the six years between polls, according to the results, one in five Irish set aside religion. In 2011, 23% said they considered themselves as not religious, and 13% as convinced atheists. When the same poll was conducted in 2005, 25% said they considered themselves as not religious, and 3% as convinced atheists. The 2011 poll results reflect a 22% drop in Irish identification as ‘religious’ in the six years between poll conduction, with a corresponding increase in the ‘not religious’ and ‘convinced atheist’ categories. The United States saw a 13% drop in identification as religious over the same period.
Well, I wonder what the reason for this is. The dualistic, Christian traditions, with their fear and loathing of the flesh which has resulted in widespread abuse, misogyny and homophobia, is going to do for the Christian faith. If only we had stuck to following the teaching of Jesus Christ there would have been a lot less violated children and a lot more people in the pews of our churches.
According to a poll by Gallup International, Ireland now ranks among the top ten atheist nations worldwide, in a huge shift from the last poll in 2005. In the six years between polls, according to the results, one in five Irish set aside religion. In 2011, 23% said they considered themselves as not religious, and 13% as convinced atheists. When the same poll was conducted in 2005, 25% said they considered themselves as not religious, and 3% as convinced atheists. The 2011 poll results reflect a 22% drop in Irish identification as ‘religious’ in the six years between poll conduction, with a corresponding increase in the ‘not religious’ and ‘convinced atheist’ categories. The United States saw a 13% drop in identification as religious over the same period.
Well, I wonder what the reason for this is. The dualistic, Christian traditions, with their fear and loathing of the flesh which has resulted in widespread abuse, misogyny and homophobia, is going to do for the Christian faith. If only we had stuck to following the teaching of Jesus Christ there would have been a lot less violated children and a lot more people in the pews of our churches.
WHERE THERE'S FOLK THERE'S BRASS
Belinda is a very funny person and an extremely talented pianist and songwriter. More mature in attitude to the Unthank sisters, she held the band together and her confidence gave the band a stage presence that they are now greatly lacking. She would interrupt the group's songs about miners and the usual folkie icons with her own songs based on her experience of being a lesbian. Such subject matter is unusual for any English band but in the folk scene, with its obsession with the deflowering of young maidens, it was previously unheard of. Without, Belinda, the group has become far too earnest and have engaged in some right pretentious projects. Worst of all, they are no longer funny.
Therefore, I haven't paid much attention to them recently. At least, that was the case until a couple of days ago when I bought their new album, "Diversions, Volume 2," a live recording of a concert tour they undertook last year with The Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band. I'm a sucker for brass band music, especially that which comes from the working class tradition. When I was a priest in the last deep mine village in Northumbria, many years ago, the local brass band, connected to the mine, used to accompany us at our carol services each Christmas and it was a wonderful experience brimming with nostalgia and a sense of belonging.
So, I was sold on the album before I even heard it. On the whole, my investment was worthwhile. The Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band are, as they always are, brilliant. The sisters sing well. The only low points on the album is when some bloke starts singing faux-jazz.
Here is the first track off the album, the beautiful, modern folk ballad, "The King Of Rome," originally made famous by June Tabor.
PURCHASE FROM AMAZON UK
The King of Rome was a racing pigeon that won a 1,001-mile race from Rome, Italy to England, in 1913. The bird, a blue cock, was owned and bred by Charlie Hudson (born early 1870s, died 13 March 1958 aged 84, of Derby. On the bird's death he presented its body to Derby Museum and Art Gallery where its taxidermied skin is preserved.
The King of Rome and its owner were the subject of a song and book by Dave Sudbury (born Derby). It tells how on the day of the big race a storm blew in. A thousand birds were swept away and never seen again.
(WIKIPEDIA)
BLOG NOTICE
OCICBW... has been quiet of late. This is due to technical problems I amhaving with my main computer. Basically it's hard drive is not up to dealing with the amount of data and software required to run the whole OCICBW... thing. As I'm still being punished by the authorities of the Church of England for suffering from clinical depression fourteen years ago, it is unlikely I will have the relatively small amount of money needed to upgrade the drive in the foreseeable future. So, we will have to put up with bodging it for the time being and hope that the system doesn't crash and destroy all the files. That really would be the end of my world.
MOHAMMED WEPT
From CHRISTIAN TODAY:
Pakistan's human rights body has strongly condemned the arrest of an 11-year-old Christian girl with Down syndrome after she was accused of "blasphemy". Tensions have caused around 600 Christians to flee the area.
The girl, identified as Rifta Masih from the rural area of Mehrabadi in Islamabad, was accused of burning a Noorani Qaida, a booklet used to learn the basics of the Holy Koran, last Thursday. It was also alleged that she had thrown the booklet in the garbage after putting it in a plastic bag. Following the accusation, which appears to be untrue, a mob demanded the arrest of the girl and threatened to burn houses belonging to Christians.
When the women from Pussy Riot were sentenced to two years in a penal colony last week, Christians throughout the world condemned the inappropriate punishment and accused the Russian Patriarch, Kirill, and his buddy, Putin, of unchristian behaviour. The arrest of this young girl in Pakistan is far more vile than the arrest of Pussy Riot (who are fully reasoning adults and who provoked the Russian establishment deliberately). Yet, will there be an outcry from enlightened Muslims throughout the world? No. You will not even hear mumbles of condemnation from Muslims now living in, and enjoying the freedoms and economic benefits of, secular democracies.
If Mohammed had been a tenth of a coward when it came to standing up against the brutish and ignorant aspects of his society as most Muslims are today there would be no Islam. To remain quiet when your faith is brought into disrepute by the evil actions of people claiming to be members of your faith is to share in the guilt of the offence.
To persecute a disabled child, whatever she may or may not have done, is an infinitely bigger blasphemy against Allah than the burning of every piece of Islamic literature in the world.
Pakistan's human rights body has strongly condemned the arrest of an 11-year-old Christian girl with Down syndrome after she was accused of "blasphemy". Tensions have caused around 600 Christians to flee the area.
The girl, identified as Rifta Masih from the rural area of Mehrabadi in Islamabad, was accused of burning a Noorani Qaida, a booklet used to learn the basics of the Holy Koran, last Thursday. It was also alleged that she had thrown the booklet in the garbage after putting it in a plastic bag. Following the accusation, which appears to be untrue, a mob demanded the arrest of the girl and threatened to burn houses belonging to Christians.
When the women from Pussy Riot were sentenced to two years in a penal colony last week, Christians throughout the world condemned the inappropriate punishment and accused the Russian Patriarch, Kirill, and his buddy, Putin, of unchristian behaviour. The arrest of this young girl in Pakistan is far more vile than the arrest of Pussy Riot (who are fully reasoning adults and who provoked the Russian establishment deliberately). Yet, will there be an outcry from enlightened Muslims throughout the world? No. You will not even hear mumbles of condemnation from Muslims now living in, and enjoying the freedoms and economic benefits of, secular democracies.
If Mohammed had been a tenth of a coward when it came to standing up against the brutish and ignorant aspects of his society as most Muslims are today there would be no Islam. To remain quiet when your faith is brought into disrepute by the evil actions of people claiming to be members of your faith is to share in the guilt of the offence.
To persecute a disabled child, whatever she may or may not have done, is an infinitely bigger blasphemy against Allah than the burning of every piece of Islamic literature in the world.
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