JESUS CHRIST IS WAITING

HAVING THOUGHT IT ALL THROUGH CAREFULLY

A spokesperson for the Church of England has revealed that the
House of Bishops' idea for how the gay but celibate couple thing
will work out in practice was based on this famous scene from
"It Happened One Night."

POLICING THE QUEERS INTHE CHURCH OF ENGLAND

WOULDN'T IT BE LOVELY?

The following interesting idea was posted by Colin Coward (head honcho at Changing Attitude) on his Facebook wall. Of course, me just entertaining such an idea is enough to scupper it ever happening, but until the important people in Durham Diocese inevitably choose another high flying evangelical for the job I shall dream dreams and remember Bishop David and the good old days when gay priests in my diocese weren't hounded out of their jobs for simply falling in love.

People are asking whether Jeffrey John might now be appointed a bishop, with Durham about to become vacant. Yesterday I was discounting the idea - today ... well, crazy things are happening and Jeffrey would be an outstanding bishop and alone in England has endured the media inquisition about his relationship.

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COMPROMISE REACHED ONGAY AND LESBIAN BISHOPS

Great news from England. The men in charge of the Church of England have decided that gay men in civil partnerships can now become bishops as long as they remain celibate and say sorry for enjoying themselves in the past. Gay women in civil partnerships can now become bishops whilst remaining sexually active as long as they let the men in charge of the Church of England watch.

ORDINATION OF WOMENLEADS TO CRAP POPSONGS

I have to admit that if Forward In Faith had revealed back in 1992 that the ordination of women would lead to songs as bad as this I may have been swayed to join the "No" campaign.



But kudos to the ladies for the sentiment expressed and the general babeliciousness.

Thanks to my friend, Debs for finding
this vid and sending it in to me.

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Unfortunately, a truly atrocious record. If the dog is called Noah then she must really hate him.

JESUS IN WET INK STAINSWHITE TEE SHIRT MIRACLE

From THE DAILY MAIL:

Born-again Christian Terry O'Neill decided to have an intricate design depicting Jesus tattooed on his back. But when he woke the next morning, he found the pattern had left a ghostly imprint on the T-shirt he had worn to bed. Friends have dubbed it the Adlington Shroud after the Greater Manchester town where he lives because of its similarity to the image in Turin.

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CALLING OCCUPANTS OFINTERPLANETARY CRAFT

From THE SUN:

"Panorama" investigator John Sweeney today reveals the sinister site where Tom Cruise’s Scientology church has carved a message to aliens that can be seen from outer space. The site is home to the buried texts of Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard and was built to withstand a nuclear holocaust. If you don’t have a flying saucer, Trementina Base is not an easy place to get to. But if you’re a visitor from outer space, it’s a doddle because the Church of Scientology has etched two vast interlinked circles on top of a mountain amid the desert scrub of New Mexico. Each circle has a huge diamond shape inscribed inside as a sign to aliens.

Ex-Scientologists say the vault was built deep underground by the church in the 1980s at the cost of millions of dollars. Its houses the lectures of church founder L Ron Hubbard on gold discs locked in titanium caskets sealed with argon. The cathedral is protected by three 5,000lb stainless steel airlocks. The weird signs on top of the mountain are to guide Clears, (high-ranking Scientologists) returning from space to find Mr Hubbard’s works after a nuclear Armageddon wipes out humanity.

COLORADO CONCRETE ARK WON'T FLOAT

From THE COLORADO SPRINGS BUSINESS JOURNAL:

Honor Hands, a Christian organization, is working on a project of biblical proportions. It is finalizing a Southern Colorado land purchase on which it will build a replica of Noah's Ark according to measurements and directives in the Bible. Plans include a taxidermy museum accessible to the blind so they could touch and feel the animals. There would also be an amphitheater and office space for other Christian outreach organizations, a science center and restaurant (where visitors will be able to eat some of the species of animals that would have been Noah on his boat. They also plan to eventually build a water park on the site.

A Christian woman from out of state has already pledged $23 million as an initial investment.

Honor Hands' Jerry Vinnola said he plans to stick to the blueprints as much as possible, though the boat won’t be built to float.

“For longevity-sake, we won’t use gofer wood,” he said. "But there is a concrete compound designed to look like wood that he said should achieve the right look."

“We want to make a difference in the world with this project,” Vinnola said. “And we believe people will come from all over the world to see it. That means it will be a boon for nearby businesses and will likely create hundreds of jobs."

“I don’t want to say God chose me like he did Noah because this is not about me at all,” Vinnola said. “But God does keep giving me these ideas and I wonder – why me.”

GAY MEN ENCOURAGED TO STROKE HORSES

From NEWSFIX:

According to Pastor Raymond Bell from the Cowboy Church of Virginia, a gay person can be cured from their same sex attractions just by stroking a horse. Bell sees homosexuality as a type of addiction and believes that the horses in his church, a cowboy ranch in Roanoke, can stop men from being gay by encouraging them to be more masculine. Using what he calls “Equine Assisted Psychotherapy”, Bell holds sessions where men basically stroke their horses. The Pastor said that it is not a new treatment, as it is being used to treat people having communication problems and mental health issues. However, it is the first time that the technique has been used to prevent men from becoming gay. Bell said that the therapy will work and will make men more sturdy and masculine.

I think a lot of gay men will be encouraging their partners to pop along to this church for some horsey therapy. The thought of getting them back more "sturdy and masculine" than before will surely appeal big time.

WHERE DOES HE FIND THEM?

Okay, that's enough "Happy New Year" for you lot. It's time to go back to the suffering and boy you are going to suffer a-plenty if you are mad enough to press play on this one. I mean, look at the sleeve and the title! If that isn't warning enough then you are obviously the sort of person who climbs over metal fences covered in signs proclaiming "DANGER Risk Of Death" and you deserve any misfortune that should subsequently befall you.

However, those of you who have been really badly behaved this Christmas may wish to risk it as I'm giving away 1000 days off purgatory to anybody who gets through it.

And I must admit, Robert has a point.  Any country that allows utter crap like this to be released without calling for the death penalty for its perpetrators is surely a land of true freedom.

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And it's not a bad album. It has a definite Hüsker Dü vibe about it.

WORSHIP AT SAINT LAIKA'S

A SERVICE OF HOLY COMMUNION

THE FIRST SUNDAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

If you want to physically partake of communion you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol). How you view the nature of this part of the service is completely up to you.

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.

Download via the MP3 icon below the player.

Download podcast via iTUNES.


MP3 File

CLICK HERE for order of service and credits
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