THE MADGANG GO TO DERWENTHAUGH PARK

Today we took Quiz on his first five mile walkies. It poured and we got drenched. In fact, I got so wet that when we got back to the rangers' building at the start of the trail,I went into the public toilets and stood in front of the hand drier for fifteen minutes. But neither of the dogs cared about the weather in the slightest. They love the rain and they love the mud even more.

Quiz is getting more confident about meeting other dogs and less likely to jump up every human he comes across. He's even coming back when he's called (most of the time). However, he was so worn out by the walk that when we got home he curled up in his bed and went straight to sleep and wouldn't even get up to eat his dinner.

Want walk... NOW!

Derwenthaugh Park from the Nine Arches Viaduct

River Derwent at Kite Hill

At Clockburn Lake

Clockburn Lake

Herding Quiz

Herding Delphi

Muddy, wet and happy

Little pup in the big wide world

Back home, tired and contented

Same here

CLICK HERE for more details about Derwenthaugh Park.

RECORD SLEEVES WITH DOGS ON (15)

GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLEFAULTY SOFTWARE DOES

From CNN:

After the Newtown shooting, a number of Silicon Valley leaders signed the "Demand a Plan" petition for new gun laws. It is good to know how strongly they feel about tougher regulation. It would be even better if they would invest their know-how and wealth to create a new kind of gun control - the software kind.

How might this work? Start with locational "self-awareness." Guns should know where they are and if another gun is nearby. Global positioning systems can meet most of the need, refining a gun's location to the building level, even within buildings. Control of the gun would remain in the hand of the person carrying it, but the ability to fire multiple shots in crowded areas or when no other guns are present would be limited by software that understands where the gun is being used. Guns should also be designed to sense where they are being aimed. Artificial vision and optical sensing technology can be adapted from military and medical communities. Sensory data can be used by built-in software to disable firing if the gun is pointed at a child or someone holding a child. Building software into guns need not affect gun owners' desire to protect their homes. Trigger control software could be relaxed when the gun is at home or in a car, while other safety features stay on to prevent accidental discharges.

This is a truly amazing suggestion. If it didn't come from the USA I would have immediately regarded it as a spoof. Since the Connecticut massacre I have read all sorts of feeble attempts to avoid the irrefutable fact that the only way to stop people being shot is to get rid of guns, but this barmy idea has to take the biscuit big time. The writer's big idea is that the arms dealers in the USA only sell guns that refuse to fire if they are pointed at children or other "innocent" people. Considering that the "mad shooters" tend to be young, nerdy males I very much doubt that they will have any problem hacking such software. In fact, I expect it would add to the fun.

AFRICAN ANGLICANS INVENT NEW RELIGION

Many of the leaders of the Anglican churches in Africa turned their backs on orthodox Christianity this week following the completely unnecessary announcement by the bishops of the Church of England that gay men who promise never to have sex with another man and publicly denounce homosexual behaviour as sinful could become bishops. As there has never, in the history of Christianity, been a law against having gay urges, the bishops' statement contains nothing novel whatsoever. Also, it has always been a primary doctrine of the Christian religion that those who repent of their sins are forgiven by God and should be forgiven by the Church. A past repented of is not a bar to any position in the Church.

Therefore, for the homophobes of African Anglicanism to threaten further schism if the Church of England promotes men to the episcopate who promise not to have sex outside of heterosexual marriage and who have stated that any same gender nookie they got up to previously was very naughty indeed, is a rejection of the very heart of the gospel message. I have no idea what the former Anglicans are going to call their new religion. One thing is for certain it should not contain the word "Christian" as it has nothing whatsoever to do with the message of Jesus Christ.

A SADNESS

My longstanding blogging pal, Caminante, has recently said goodbye to her long time feline friend, Agatha. This is the last photo taken of the two of them and Caminante's face says it all. My heart aches in sympathy and empathy.

For details of Agatha's passing and photos taken during happier times check out Caminante's blog, VERMONT'S OWN.

RECORD SLEEVES WITH DOGS ON (14)

TILL MASSACRE US DO PART

From THE HUFFINGTON POST:

Shotgun-themed weddings continue to boom in the US – despite the tragic shooting at Sandy Hook elementary school that saw a gunman pick off 26 people. The Las Vegas ceremonies are still a hit and organisers The Gun Store insist no weddings have been cancelled in the wake of the incident and bookings are still flooding in. Their £300 package includes an ordained minister, access to a private VIP shooting range and five shots on a shotgun for the bride and groom. Another deal, called the Mr & Mrs Smith & Wesson, offers even more guns, ammunition and targets.

Emily Miller, an ordained minister at the Gun Store, said: “We’re here because people love each other and guns. Guns don’t have to be about anger and hate. This is a fun and energetic way to get out their aggressions and emotions.”

Psychos!

NAMING THE ASHAMED

A Roman Catholic priest in the Netherlands is to put on display the names and photographs of parish members trying to leave the Church in a bid to get them to stay.

"This is a large parish, and I don't known everyone: by putting up the photos I thought someone might recognise someone they know who they could try to make stay in the Church," priest Harm Schilder told AFP on Tuesday.

Schilder said that he had received four requests to leave the Church around Christmas (coincidently at the same time many Catholics in the liberal Netherlands were shocked by Pope Benedict XVI's Christmas call to "fight" gay marriage, which the Netherlands was the first country to legalise in 2001).

SOME COUNTRIES DO GET IT

Catholic bishops on Saturday threw their weight behind proposals to impose a total gun ban in the country after an apparently disturbed man went on a shooting rampage and killed eight persons and wounded 9 others.

Cebu Archbishop Jose Palma, president of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, said the government should consider the proposal to ensure the safety of unarmed Filipinos.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

A bit intolerant of him, wouldn't you say?

FRIENDS OF FATHER DOROTHY

When young, I attended a theological college, with the hope of becoming a clergyman. It was an amusing surprise to discover that, of the 40 or so students, 30 had adopted female “names in religion” I did not stay the course, but I have since watched “Tawdry Audrey”, “Plum Tart”, “Clarissa” , “Maud” and the others go on to become faithful priests, nearly all of them living dedicated lives of service to God in insalubrious neighbourhoods.

While I was doing my training, the Church of England still possessed the blessed English gift of irony. Double-think. Some would call it hypocrisy but I would not. Most of these priests were, or became, celibates. Some shared their clergy-houses with another chap, and if his bishop had any sense, no questions were asked.
(A. N. Wilson, EVENING STANDARD)

SLAVE OF CHRIST

A Roman Catholic priest has been granted a leave of absence after calling police for help to remove a pair of handcuffs. Father Tom Donovan, pastor of St. Aloysius church in Illinois, made the 911 call on November 28, telling the operator he was stuck and needed help before his situation deteriorated, the Illinois Times reports.

It is not known how the priest came to be stuck in the cuffs, but there are unconfirmed reports he also had some kind of gag attached when police arrived at the rectory.

The last pope used to keep whips in his wardrobe and self-flagelate regularly. This is one of the reasons given for his fast tracking to sainthood. Poor old Father Donovan doesn't even go that far with his own fetish and ends up being disappeared by the church and the subject of much international sniggering.

It's an unfair world.

SAY JEEZ!

From THE INQUISITR:

The Freedom From Religion Foundation, an atheist group, is demanding that a southern Ohio middle school remove a framed photo of Jesus Christ. The photo has hung in the school building for several decades. The Madison Wisconsin-based group is citing an “unidentified complainant” in its crusade to have the removed from the public school.

A photograph of Jesus?!!

Those silly atheists will believe anything.

HOUSE OF BISHOPS AGREE TO ALLOWTRENDY VICARS TO BECOME BISHOPS

In a press release that has completely taken the British media unawares, the House of Bishops has stated that being trendy will no longer be a bar to being promoted to the episcopate and enjoying the better pension package and generous expenses that go with it.

From INDEPENDENT.IE:

Jonathan Meyrick, the Bishop of Lynn, plans to release a CD, with tracks including Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones, Wild Thing by the Troggs, and Nights In White Satin by the Moody Blues, later this year. He said he was not aiming for stardom but hopes the collection of 1960s hits will raise funds for Tapping House Hospice and a campaign to restore St Nicholas Chapel in King's Lynn to its former glory.

He said: "I have always been involved in performance on an amateur basis. I have a broad taste in music and in the past my singing has ranged from light opera to Gilbert and Sullivan and music from the 60s. I have done a lot of work with choral societies but I can tailor my voice to fit the era."

The bishop previously appeared on ITV's Stars In Their Eyes dressed as Reg Presley and singing Wild Thing.

My heart sunk as soon as I read the words, "Gilbert and Sullivan" and "rock" in the same press release. I have nothing against bishops singing operetta and I have nothing against bishops singing rock 'n' roll. But a bishop who sings Gilbert and Sullivan and rock 'n' roll is a musical mutation that only ever occurs among the ranks of trendy, Anglican clerics and should be discouraged at all costs. Honestly people, the sooner the House of Bishops is made up entirely of raging queers the better. I can't see gay bishops displaying such awful lapses in good taste.

LAWYERING UP

From THE TIMES-TRIBUNE:

Josephine M. Coccetti and Earl J. Coccetti, an Archbald couple, are suing the bishop of the Diocese of Scranton for failing to monitor the parking lot and remove snow and ice that caused Mrs. Coccetti to fall on Jan. 8, 2011, at Holy Cross Parish at St. Patrick's Church in Olyphant. Mrs. Coccetti was walking from the parking lot to the church around 3:45 p.m. when she fell, "due to an accumulation of hills and ridges of ice and/or snow," according to the suit. She suffered "serious permanent personal injuries" as a result of the fall, including a crushing fracture of a portion of her left arm and loss of motion, the suit alleges. Her injuries have prevented Mrs. Coccetti from completing daily activities, work and have caused medical bills. She is seeking in excess of $50,000.

Though he did not fall, Mr. Coccetti is also seeking in excess of $50,000 after Mrs. Coccetti's injuries deprived him of "love, society, companionship, aid, assistance, comfort, contribution, services and/or consortium" from his wife.

What a chancer! They should have to prove this conclusively and if it is subsequently discovered that Mr Coccetti didn't suffer from $500000 dollars worth of "love, society, companionship, aid, assistance, comfort, contribution, services and/or consortium" from his wife, they should be incarcerated in the State Penitentiary for perjury. The worrying thing is that the ancient concepts of "accident" and "taking care when walking on ice" are now disappearing from the English consciousness as well and is being replaced by the concept of blaming everybody else except yourself if you are stupid enough to go out in winter without wearing the right type of footwear.

BURNING QUESTION OF THE DAY

Does the Pope eat seedless grapes?

MADPRIEST'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Patience may be a virtue but it's the 
impatient who change the world.

AFA CLAIMS MUSLIM PRESIDENT WOULDFAVOUR SAME GENDER MARRIAGE

From ANI:

The American Family Association, a conservative religious group, has warned that by the year 2060, Christians could be treated "like African Americans were prior to civil rights." It also warned that the family unit as it is known today could be dissolved and America could have a Muslim president.

Hang on a second! I thought that right wing nutters were convinced that the USA already had a muslim president. Also, if the USA ever elected an Islamist president then the first thing he (and, yes, it would certainly be a "he") would insist on would be strictly orthodox family units. I would think most right wing, evangelical Americans would actually love it if a Muslim became president as Islam is a religion must closer to their beliefs than Christianity as it is about rules and submission rather than freedom from the law and, well, freedom.

HARD LINES

From ASIA ONE NEWS:

A court in Hsinchu province in Taiwan had ordered a 28-year-old engineer to copy the Buddhist Heart Sutra scripture 108 times as penalty for molesting a girl. The man, known only as Han, had earlier been sentenced to seven years in jail for fondling the 15-year-old girl's breasts and private parts. The judged was quoted as saying that he also ordered the man to copy the scriptures following a request from the victim's mother, who hoped that this would make him repent.

Well, it might not make him repent, but it will no doubt give him a sore wrist which will stop him enjoying himself for a while at least.

RELIGION CAN BE SUCH A DRAG

Full details of The Reverend Roger Anthony Yolanda Mapes' magnificent ministry can be found on THIS WEBSITE. Details of the happening advertised above can be found on the UNITY CENTRE OF PEACE website. If you think this is all a spoof, CLICK HERE, read and listen!

Me, I think I'm in need of fabbing up. I need some of the Reverend Yolanda's sparkle. Perhaps I should get myself an image consultant.

IF YOU ARE STILL INTERESTED

If you are still interested in the Church of England (which would put you in a small minority that is shrinking further every day) then I recommend Father Anonymous on the gay but celibate bishops thing and thing Soho mass thing. Check out his blog, MAGDALENE'S EGG, for informed, insightful commentary.

BLAST FROM THE PAST

We three kings of Orient are, 
selling knickers tuppence a pair. 
So fantastic, no elastic, 
why don't you buy a pair? 

 It's amazing what you remember from school (all the alternative hymn words) and what you forget (pretty much everything the teachers tried to teach me).

THE MADGANG GO TO ROKER BEACH

Taken by Mrs MP on her Blackberry.
Played about with, so they look all arty, by MadPriest.

RECORD SLEEVES WITH DOGS ON (13)

IT'S ALL IN THE JEANS

I think it's great that they
are now making trousers
specifically for camp,
straight men. At last,
trousers that fit!

Up to now you've only
been able to buy straight
trousers or gay trousers.

WORSHIP AT SAINT LAIKA'S

A SERVICE OF HOLY COMMUNION

THE FEAST OF THE EPIPHANY

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

If you want to physically partake of communion you will require a small piece of bread and a small amount of drink (preferably made from grapes and containing alcohol). How you view the nature of this part of the service is completely up to you.

The order of service is posted beneath the audio file so that you can join in with the service. The words in bold type are the ones we say together.

Click on the arrow on the player to stream.

Download via the MP3 icon below the player.

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MP3 File

CLICK HERE for order of service and credits
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